Dark place

Hi @Gazza75 @outlander

thank you for thinking of me. I hope you are both coping.

i had appointments today and more tomorrow and I think there will be a decision if I need to go back to hospital. I’m very tired of living at the moment. I have significant physical symptoms and they’ve all been cleared physically and i don’t know how to move on. But I’m in touch with my care team. I just feel like a waste of space. People are physically sick, and im not and i should be grateful for that, but it doesn’t help me because it doesn’t go away. I’ve got that many pills to take now for all sorts of stuff but it’s not like it’ll make it better, just for the moment, but not heal it. A bit like a short acting anti anxiety medication. I’m sorry I’m so negative, I just don’t know how to move forward.

@Former-Member are you ok my friend , i am here for you xxx

@Shaz51 xox

People tell me that I should think about how I would hurt people if I did something to myself. But what about me hurting, why do I have to hurt just so others don’t get hurt? I don’t get that concept and I hate myself for letting people into my life that I could hurt. I don’t want to hurt people but I don’t want to hurt. I’m tired of trying to pick myself up every single day and I don’t think I can cope with more hurt.

sending you understanding hugs @Former-Member

can I ask you what is your diagnosis xx

My husband has had depression and anxiety all his life , I think he has bipolar 11 and other diagnosis as well

@Former-Member, iam here for you if you like to chat my friend xxxx

It sounds like you're currently in a really hard place @Former-Member . I just sent an email to check in with you.

Thank you @Shaz51

my main diagnosis is complex ptsd and bipolar 2. I’m just so tired of it all.

understandable my friend @Former-Member

my mr shaz has bipolar 11 too

of course you get tired of it my @Former-Member , I get tired of my physical problems too but one step at a time my awesome friend , walking with you
i am here for you all the way and so is @outlander , @Gazza75 , @Jhaneylena

Hi @Shaz51 @outlander @Gazza75 @Jhaneylena

hope you have some sunshine in your day today.

its very windy here today. I’m wondering if life would be different if I just stop my meds and therapy. I feel like I’m being hand balled from one to the other and I think if I don’t change, nothing will change and they can’t help me anymore or don’t want to, I don’t know. I’ve always tried to do whatever I was told to try, and I don’t want to try anymore.