Need a little help tonight

Hey @Razzle Checking in to see how you are travelling today

@Zoe7 Mum wouldn’t get up this morning, just lay in bed awake. I went into her room at 10.40am I asked her what she wanted to do today, she said nothing. She was very sulky so I told her to get up and put her dressing gown on and I’d take her to the hospital. She wouldn’t budge so I made a piece of toast and made her sit up in bed and eat it, plus take her medications. I told her that she had completely recovered from when she was in hospital, but now she’s just trying to make herself sick again. I told her I can’t fix that, but maybe the hospital could sort her out.

She eventually came down to the lounge room. She’s sulking in her chair so I made her a cup of tea, I didn’t ask her just handed it to her. I don’t understand why she is doing this, I have no clue what to do with her anymore.

She has diabetes, because most of her pancreas was removed due to pancreatic cancer 10 years ago, and not eating is not doing the diabetes any favours. She has a pressure sore on her heel which has every chance of turning into an ulcer, and if that happens then she’ll lose her bloody foot.

Its like she has thrown in the towel, and she’s doing my head in.

That is a horrible position for you to be in @Razzle You are doing everything possible to help her and you can only do so much. She has to be willing to help herself as well but it certainly seems like she is not doing that - so hard for you to deal with Hon

You also need some time for yourself so can you go out for a coffee or lunch on your own. I know that would also give you time to think - which isn't ideal either - but it might be good for you to be out of that environment for a little while.

Sorry to hear your day has been a rough one so far @Razzle This might sound odd, but do you know what music mum loved in her teens or early twenties? We saw a video the other day saying that playing music we grew up on can help lift our mood, especially in older people. What have you done for yourself today?

Like the others here @Razzle I’m sorry it’s such a rough time with your mum. You do need to look after yourself though, anything no matter how small it is, try to do it. Sometimes just a walk in the backyard listening to the birds can be a break. Thinking of you.

@Zoe7 @Ali11

I decided to drag mum out for a drive this afternoon. I wanted to go and look at a new tourist attraction about 150kms away. My husbands sister and mother wanted to go too so they

picked us up and off we went. We stopped at a neighboring town for lunch (mum didn’t want anything so I made her order a cheese sandwich) and then off to the tourist attraction.

We stopped at another town to look at a house that my sister in law had bought, she showed us through and then we headed for home.

I’m about to cook tea, so I guess we’re in for another battle soon 😏😏. Mum is on a low dose anti depressant, I think I’ll ring her Dr tomorrow and get him to up the dose, she’s tough work at the moment.

I fell asleep on the couch yesterday afternoon, and woke myself up with the vision. Mum saw me jump and asked what happened, I told her I dreamt I’d fallen down the back step. Felt pretty

lousy for the rest of the day so ended up having a couple of drinks last

night - I know, not ideal, but I just

needed to get out of my head for a bit.

Ended up being a late night to bed last night because I didn’t want to close my eyes. Dealing with mum and my latest counciling session has really fired up my anxiety. I’m so tired but I don’t want to sleep. Dragging my feet today

@Maggie We did get out today , not that I got any time on my own, but we got out of the house which was still good

You’ve had a big day @Razzle I hope you get some quality rest tonight. Take care.

It is great that you got out and did a couple of things @Razzle - even if you had others with you it is a change in environment and the pressures you have with your Mum and home.

Certainly don't beat yourself up at all for having a couple of drinks - you have been under so much physical and emotional pressure this week so a little release of that is expected. You also needed some sleep. It is not great you had that vision though and I fully understand that need to sleep but not wanting to with all that sleep can often bring. It certainly is a fine line and not at all easy. I do hope tonight is a little easier for you Hon - we just do not function well with lack of sleep ...so hearing you there and walking with you

Hi @Maggie So nice to see you around the forum a bit today Hon

@Zoe7 Had a win of sorts tonight. I dished up tea and called mum into the kitchen. She sat down and ate it without saying a word - she only ate half of her piece of steak but she ate all her veggies so I’ll take that as a win.

Toward the end of the meal she asked where my dad was, he died 2 years ago. I explained that to her and she called me a liar. I have his funeral service sheet on the fridge so I got that for her and she had a read of it, then she said “that’s why I haven’t seen him around for a while”. Then she finished her tea. Dementia is just as devastating as cancer. Dad died within 6 days of his pancreatic cancer diagnosis - dementia has had mum for at least 2 years and it’s just slow and cruel.