Suicide prevention program

Hi @Lemonjuice, good to see you again. Thanks for sharing with us, it must be a new experience to be opening that part of your life with these carers and seeing their support. Is there any part of you that is feeling a little relieved to be talking to them about it? Sending love

@Ali11 💓 to you too. Not so much relieved because I don't think there's anything they can really do...I mean, it's been some 40 years now, kind of set in my thinking and personality. I self-sabotage too; I'm suppose to be doing lower back exercises for pain relief, I have cancelled twice with the physio cause I have yet to start, and I guess that's that. So if they start talking meditation, mindfulness, positive thinking, different exercises, etc, I know already I will fail. I will try, and really mean it, but then I will fail. Add that to the list of reasons to drop dead. I will try though, as messed up as I am, I do know I don't want to end up in a psych ward.

We are happy to hear that you will give it a go @Lemonjuice, it's time that you put yourself first and by talking with your counsellor, you're heading in the right direction, even if you feel that it is wrong. We hope that you do get something positive out of it.

Hey @Lemonjuice ,

I'm concerned about what's going on for you at the moment especially around thoughts of suicide. It's great that you've come here to share your story, and I've sent you an email offering a little extra support as well.

@Jynx I'm ok. This is more about longterm, light level, suicide ideation and dealing with that. It's only gotten worse the past four years cause of issues at home, as I am a full-time carer. Long story, but I'm ok.

@Ali11 thanks.

hi @Lemonjuice

I have not been on a course like that, but I resonate with your experience of being very familiar with managing SI on my own for most of my adult life. What can I learn etc etc

It can feel confronting to find that therapist has seen inner hidden thoughts ... or more like extrapolated from some of the throw away lines we might use. It is a good sign that they are doing some caring for YOU rather than you always the carer.

I hope it is worthwhile even if it seems annoying. I have found getting some of Suicidal thinking OUT has had an effect of reducing it. I hope that happens with you.

Apple

Hey @Lemonjuice, checking in and seeing how you are going. Are you still going ahead with the course?

@Appleblossom I am nervous and all over the place about it. I have so much on, I don't know if I have the time and energy to be doing one more thing. If I don't go ahead, my therapist might insist and then what. If I refuse, they might freak out and I end up in hospital or have them making even more demands. I find myself changing my mind every so often. Pretend that I am ok, it's not so bad, be honest, etc. Exhausting, but this is it, at least I will know for sure where I am on this issue by tomorrow lunchtime...nothing worse than imagining what will be said and how I will respond.

@Ali11 see above message to Appleblossom.