EMDR - Has anyone done this

Re: EMDR - Has anyone done this

@Gazza75

It was an act of revenge from my boss i wouldnt sleep with.

I lived in a half built hse for almost 3mnths with no income

I then flew to my parents & met with some pretty important people let's say.

I was told matter had to b investigated cause my original charge was unwarranted. They told me a letter was coming from the heads in dept stating i was free to return home. I didnt wait for the letter & went back to my fiance.

He yeah he then reported me home & military Police arrested me. Didnt believe my story.

They locked me up. Its a dark cold cell. Once ur in u dont get out unless u do everything they say.

I was in for let's say a long enough time to completely traumatize me. i stood my ground & stuck to my story which they didnt like so they charged me further time. I dont remember those days at all. Its a complete blank.

Civillian jail is a holiday compared to army jail. They break u in army. Loads of yelling & screaming at me & putting me down. Very hard. I question what happened myself from 4am til 9pm in a tiny building. My mind just has blocked it off.

I was a total mess once i got out tho. Totally numb & spaced out. Didnt trust anyone. In total shock. I left my fiance & daily drank & took drugs to numb the pain & memories i guess.

So dva want me to put in a claim to prove ptsd from what they did

great news the psychiatrist report has come thru and I can finally put this claim in.

Well I lost my job from it all, no1 else got charged and I doubt the matter ever got investigated.

I was a complete mess after it.

Lost everything and suffered ptsd quite badly.

@Gazza75

A lot went on in the army yrs ago. Brushed under the carpet

Well dva r hoping for some compensation given i lost my job over it & didnt have an income for 3+mnths.

My mother said i wasnt the same after it

I later spoke to someone who was locked up for a drink driving offence & we compared notes & he was horrified by what i endured.

In civillian life u can access help if something is done to you. In army its another world different laws.

8yrs after it happened i was grabbed in street by them & threatened again. Id been a civillian outside this country & thats what i returned to.

Very sad indeed.

No wonder i dont trust anyone.

Shocked me to find out 6mnths ago my fiance was the person that reported me. Didnt warn me tho.

I could never do that to any human being.

I left him soon after i returned home. I couldnt b touch without jumping to end of bed.

Think i sensed i couldnt trust him

To this day its sad that he doesnt get why it affected me.

I was trapped in there & no1 could get me out.

Trapped at home with emotional abuse & ran into army to get away from the abuse & thats what happened.

Its funny how life repeats itself.

@roses1

When im triggered badly im incapable of typing to get on here

I cant ph & wait on hold now

If i didnt have a 16yr old son where i live i really do think i would harm myself

The pain has got that severe.

I told the psychologist today that i think thats how im going to leave my mark

Its the only way for people to wake up & realise what theyre doing

Im not going to pass quietly. I dont think so

Part of me really wants to make a statement, a real impact

I have nothing am no1 but want to leave very well known

I think this town needs this

So many r advertising their business on mental health days but arent aware of slightly what it feels like

I do all these pos things to stay alive. The average person doesnt even think like that

Feel for you @Former-Member How awful what happened to you. I was once held by police in a perspex box for many hours after being assaulted for hours and injured badly with no medical help so I can relate just a little bit to what you went through. And understand how it can still take it's toll many years later. For me it's taking a few EMDR sessions to work through this traumatic episode. Be patient with yourself. You have a therapist you trust and believe in the process helping so things are in your favour for some degree of recovery. Which will help you deal with the legal side of it all. Take care x

Hello @saturnzoon

this might be interesting

@eth, @Doglover , @Former-Member , @Gazza75

Thankyou @Shaz51 I'm going over the thread now so will be back after I read them

@eth

Thanks yeah im sure the EMDR next week will help

Unfortunately my ex fiance is stubbornly refusing to answer my fb messages. Im trying to get a witness statement from him. Given he was the key witness ud think hed help me

No skin off his nose hey

I hope you get a response from him @Former-Member . Did you have any other supports at that time - psychologist, counsellor, GP? Reports from them would help too.

@eth

Ive had to get a diagnosis report from this current psychiatrist but my biggest problem is that altho i saw a psychologist or someone after the incident i didnt follow thru. I was totally numb & just hit drugs & alcohol to get by.

Then later i got further help but never stayed with the one person. Its partly cause of my condition. I kept moving running.

Trying to start afresh in different places.

Plus they didnt get right diagnosis til now. They got the complex ptsd right but rest wrong.

I have got a good witness statement from my mother tho. She asked me to write it. She luckily remembered the name of govt person we saw for help so thats the best thing.

Think once i submit the claim they then request a more in depth report. So ive given the psychiatrist my psychologist details as hes the one im seeing weekly i only saw her to get right diagnosis & right mood stabilizer.

Its a pretty solid case tho with my mothers statement.

Was incredibly painful writing the story + i wasnt on stronger mood stabilizer then also. I was hysterical crying. Took a few writes.

If i knew where he lived id write to him but i dont.

Hes just not looking at my fb messages.

@saturnzoon

Personally i dont think these other methods would work.

This is just my belief tho.

Teaching me to stop & think oh this isnt really something i should be getting upset over.

From my experiences the emotions hit my so god damn fast i havent got a chance to think. Im in that state so fast & its so intense.

I really do think that mine at least is only going to lessen with the EMDR so i can then remain calmer & think thru whats going on.

I keep coming back to fact that its all trauma with me & that i need to get rid of the emotions connected to the trauma in my past to then stop me from getting triggered & back in that same emotional state in present time.

I went to a therapist that did dbt & she triggered me off first day!!!!!!

She was a total control freak lol

Such an ego thinking she knew how to fix me. She was so against me doing the EMDR that she triggered me.

Fancy that hey so i went to EMDR & the emotions were lessor in only 2 sessions.

Anyway thats my experience & everyone differs but i do think u have to get help with bpd.

I just wish id had this EMDR yrs ago. Could of had my life back but hey i couldnt afford it so its just my time now i guess