Attachment weirdness, neediness, shame

@TheVorticon I just wanted to let you know that the stuff I went through with this was definitely in the weird, definitely in the attachment/needy/ fear of abandonment and hugely in the shame box. For me it wasn’t just with therapists but it happened with a lecturer I really respected too and I think various other people throughout my life. I ended up in a huge mess with it. I became paranoid and the fear of abandonment became so huge and with that the shame. For me the fear of abandonment and stuff related to my psychologist became self fulfilling and ended with me having a pretty reasonable attempt on my life outside her office. I had tried to talk about my messed upness about it that session.

I’m probably way off the mark for what you are going through but thought you were brave for starting this topic and I’m trying to return the brave. Take care.

Just wanted to say sorry to hear about the situation with your friend @BryanaCamp. I hope that it ends up getting resolved, and it's good that you have other people to spend time with.

I don't think I'm meant to have proper friends. But even still, my weirdness is something I need to deal with myself and not inflict on others.

There's not a good enough reason for me to be the way I am. I'm just too weak and sensitive and being a baby. People like me shouldn't be allowed to talk to anyone.

Hi @TheVorticon

So much of your posts on this thread resonate strongly with me.

except that last bit about nobody talking to you.

I use to double think and triple thunk everything thang thung ...

Yes close attachments can be very intense. The therapuetic attachment especially intense becasue it is about ALL our stuff.

Part of it is in the managing of it and the authenticity of the counsellor.

I was so stuck on my first big 1 -1 psychiatrist for about 10 years. It was not healthy but it was all I had ... then I did the @BryanaCamp thing and diversified and took family to a family therapy place ... that really anchored me ... it was the better thing for me ..

I had studied a fair bit of theory at uni (1990)... but emotionally over invested in the pdoc dude ... no point beating myself about it ...now ... it did keep me alive ... through my most difficult years ... he also did not medicate me which I am grateful for ... then there is the gender and cross gender stuff ... that was how I detached myself from him ... cos he was very human and had his faults ...

Thanks for sharing that @Appleblossom.

I think I'm probably just lonely, but it's pathetic as all hell for me to be feeling that.

Not pathetic at all @TheVorticon, a lot of us can relate, and loneliness is a topic that comes up in quite a few threads We've found the forums to be helpful, and there's always someone around to talk to here. Outside of the forums though, have you checked around your neighbourhood to see if there are any local groups you might like to join, book clubs, pottery classes, a walking group? There are some great groups out there with lovely people, but it can be daunting to start with when you first meet everyone and are still in that 'getting to know them' phase. How has your night been, what have you been doing tonight?