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Something’s not right

Attachment weirdness, neediness, shame

TheVorticonSenior Contributor07 July 2019, 8:03 am AEST

Attachment weirdness, neediness, shame

I seem to struggle a lot with feelings of 'liking' and 'caring about' in certain relationships.

For example, I might like someone and want to talk to them, but that's bad because I shouldn't want that, so I have to police myself to not talk to them which makes me upset, which is even more reason to be ashamed by the intensity of the feeling which I shouldn't even have in the first place.

Does anyone else understand what I mean?

164 replies

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In response to: Attachment weirdness, neediness, shame

jamesle2015Senior Contributor20 June 2020, 9:58 am AEST

Re: Attachment weirdness, neediness, shame

@Appleblossom I have a telehealth phone

appointment now.....waiting for call

not sure how it will help...

In response to: Attachment weirdness, neediness, shame

TheVorticonSenior Contributor20 June 2020, 12:38 pm AEST

Re: Attachment weirdness, neediness, shame

Sorry for not responding @jamesle2015. I'm taking a break from posting (I'm still on a break but didn't want to leave you hanging). I hope your appointment went ok and that you got a chance to talk about things with your psych, even if you hadn't done any of the 'work'. Sometimes just dealing with day-to-day stuff can be enough work without adding extra psych homework in too. 🙂

In response to: Re: Attachment weirdness, neediness, shame

jamesle2015Senior Contributor20 June 2020, 6:52 pm AEST

Re: Attachment weirdness, neediness, shame

How long are you 'on break' for?🙂

In response to: Re: Attachment weirdness, neediness, shame

AppleblossomSenior Contributor20 June 2020, 9:17 pm AEST

Re: Attachment weirdness, neediness, shame

Tbh I am not always sure that counselling does help. A lot of it does depend on what you put in, but that might be your unique way of looking at things .. it might not always be set homework. Tbh I am feeling cross that not many of my psychs have set any ..

Hope you are doing alright @jamesle2015

In response to: Re: Attachment weirdness, neediness, shame

jamesle2015Senior Contributor20 June 2020, 9:57 pm AEST

Re: Attachment weirdness, neediness, shame

@Appleblossom The psych said without the covid we could have done more...

most of the session was spent discussing how I see myself ..

She said she would have to work on one thing at a time....

In response to: Re: Attachment weirdness, neediness, shame

AppleblossomSenior Contributor20 June 2020, 10:15 pm AEST

Re: Attachment weirdness, neediness, shame

Well that sounds fair @jamesle2015

Do you feel alright about ongoing work with her?

In response to: Re: Attachment weirdness, neediness, shame

TheVorticonSenior Contributor21 June 2020, 9:28 am AEST

Re: Attachment weirdness, neediness, shame

@jamesle2015 wrote:
How long are you 'on break' for?🙂

Not sure. I've been using forums/chatrooms more than real-life interactions for (literally) half my life, so I'm trying to see if cutting back online will help me become less stuck.

The break has been mixed so far, and I do miss interacting with people online. It's meant I've had less support with some things, and I had to contact my psych about something between sessions that I normally wouldn't have (which was scary in itself). So I'm still undecided.

In response to: Re: Attachment weirdness, neediness, shame

MaggieSenior Contributor24 June 2020, 6:32 am AEST

Re: Attachment weirdness, neediness, shame

@TheVorticon Just dropping off a hi. 👋👋💞💞 No respond needed, just letting you know you are in my thoughts.

@jamesle2015 @Appleblossom 👋👋💞💞

In response to: Re: Attachment weirdness, neediness, shame

AppleblossomSenior Contributor24 June 2020, 11:32 am AEST

Re: Attachment weirdness, neediness, shame

Hugs @Maggie

Hi @jamesle2015

@TheVorticonIts good you are giving irl a go, but my son also says so many of the generation just are not good at irl interaction. He was a high tek user, but detoxing. SO dont take lo interaction rates personally. It is a different world. Think you are doing the right thing tho. I decided to post a lot on this forum to try and understand son's generation rather than be "in opposition" to online stuff. I was late to it. There is a good and bad in it ... a mixed bag.

In response to: Re: Attachment weirdness, neediness, shame

jamesle2015Senior Contributor01 July 2020, 9:03 pm AEST

Re: Attachment weirdness, neediness, shame

@Appleblossom @TheVorticon I lodged an NBN fault with my ISP....

the connection is dropping a lot during the day....

at night it works but I'm not home during day and I was told it keeps dropping out

The ISP confirmed this - it has been dropping out a lot for weeks

I hope NBN can fix it

151 - 160 of 164

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SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.

SANE values diversity. We are committed to providing a safe, culturally appropriate, and inclusive service for all people, regardless of their ethnicity, faith, disability, sexuality, or gender identity.