The Sleep Demon

Aw @Ellie

I am sorry your medication has done this to you - it would be brain-numbing and boring

How horrible

I take medication - but nothing like that - and it's not for sleep - but who knows

We all need hobbies - it depends what we are interested in - but I am into mine so much I don't have time for all of them - I have chronic pain which makes using the computer the greatest thing for me

Do you play any games? If you are awake at night any way - if you have a laptop you can take that to bed with you and play computer cames - and get into tournaments if you want to - and have contact with other people who are interested in the same things

Please don't stay bored - I am sad for your sake - but I do understand how medication can change your mind

Lots of virtual hugs

Decadian

I had a horrible dream that seemed so real that I woke up feeling like I was in my dream.

I had a dream of having a horrible migraine so bad that I was hospitalised. But then while in hospital I was told I had an angina attack. All the symptoms and pain in my dream seemed so real that when i woke up I really did have a migraine!!!

I had to have a sleep this afternoon as i was not feeling well with this migraine. Still have a slight headache but not as bad.

Very strange dream. Can't work it out.

Thanks so much for your kind words Decadian. I won't be getting off the meds any time soon, especially as they're the injectable type, LOL. But, I suppose life is only what you make it and I am looking for things I can get into. I just discovered a place in my city where people with MI are welcome to drop in and partake in this and that, including cooking which is a passion of mine. Sounds good, but maybe I'll wait until I finish my DBT course before diving in head first. Will go and check it out though.

What a terrible dream Sadgirl. Do you think it was an actual migrane that triggered the dream? Anyway, I hope it doesn't happen to you again. I've never had a migrane, but my sister used to get them all the time and she was really ill with them, so I feel for you.

Ellie.

@Ellie

I had the same response to sleepers as you. I would sleep for a couple of hours and blink wide awake. At first I thought it coincidence, but it happened most times and I went through a couple of bottles last year. Lately my usual style when I finally do sleep is deep and refreshing and long regardless of the time.

There was a long period where I was only ever a light sleeper ... nor did I dream during those decades. I am glad to say that my dreaming is returning. I see it as a healthy sign. I havent asked for more sleeping tablets .. So the hours I sleep are not routine .. but when I get it I know its good.

@Decadian the difficulty of talking about suicide really made it difficult for we survivors. It was so huge for me I squealed whoopee inside when I first heard the word on television. Which was totally inappropriate given it was a suicide bomber, and people died. I hope it is understandable given that suicide attempts and reality of the death of many people I knew had taken a chunk out of my life. I was muzzled, by other people's fear.

@Silenus I will look up the Johari window ... thanks

wow @Appleblossom

My parents were very young when they decided to spend some years living on a police station in a semi-rural area -

And people died there

But seeing as we lived where suicides were talked about - and the subject was slammed at home and there was an air of mystery around the subject that for us - which developed in secret as forbidden subjects - and are warped by ignorance

So how could I talk about my son's suicidal gestures - of course this could not happen!! It was all in my mind!! It was all my fault!!

This time of year I remember this - would things have been different if I could have discussed it with my family? In the long term - in his case - probably not

Thank God that things have changed in society now - I know that anyone in the system now has "Suicide Risk" on the front page of their file - this was not the case when my son died - yet I told everyone who would listen - and felt that no one was listening

Thank God that in 30 years there have been changed for people who are suicidal or have a family member or friend with suicide ideation or gestures

Decadian

Thanks Appleblossom. My problem seems to be that I sleep only for two or three hours and am then wide awake, sleepers or not. I think a lot of it has to do with a huge change of lifestyle last September. i went from trying to look after a large house block, keeping down weeds, doing the gardens, raking and burning deadfall etc, to living in a small unit with absolutely nothing to do. I think it's all about the exercise, or lack thereof. I'm simply not doing enough to wear my body out through the day to be able to sleep at night.

I find it difficult to get out on the push-bike or go for a walk due to paranoia, so one of my goals is to get out and do more stuff. I'm hoping the medication I'm now on will help with the paranoia, but it's early day yet.

Kind regards,

Ellie.