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Evie1Senior Contributor
Because I’m a victim of sexual assault I self blame I’ve been doing it for too long and I don’t know if I’ll ever forgive myself yesterday i cracked with a few tears my friends where able to cheer me i just need someone to help me forgive myself because i know it’s not my fault but I can’t see it like that
In response to: Self blame
outlanderSenior Contributor
In response to: Re: Self blame
Evie1Senior Contributor
Will I ever forgive myself
In response to: Re: Self blame
outlanderSenior Contributor
In response to: Re: Self blame
Evie1Senior Contributor
Taking about rape to her was hard talking about my self blame is even harder because i can’t forgive myself
In response to: Re: Self blame
outlanderSenior Contributor
In response to: Self blame
FreedomRoadCasual Contributor
Hi @Evie1
Thank you for being brave enough to say this.
This is all new to me, having a recent hospital admission, I too am now just discovering that I have been suffering PTSD, Post Natal and Clinical Depression due to guilt and shame of teenage and adult rapes, an abusive relationship as well as being disfellowshipped from a religion (Jehovah's Witness) which I was born into, therefore, overnight, losing my parents, siblings, friends, security and extended family. I knew nothing of the outside world and how anything worked, bad people saw this and took advantage of my vulnerability and now... 24 years later I am finally falling to peices as I think my mind and body finally gave out trying to keep everything within.
I have no advice as I am still trying to figure it out, but just reading your words and knowing there are others who suffer as I do is both comforting and sad, actually, it makes me angry that there are so many of us who suffer at the action and words of others.
All I can say is I have made the decision to say everything out loud! I don't make people uncomfortable, though, those who show a genuine interest in my well-being, I have started telling about my past experiences, the boy who I gave my virginity abused me with his brother, and the DJ, the man i loved. I felt tremendous guilt over being so stupid and naive to have fallen into such situations, I too blames myself for doing / saying / wearing the wrong thing, acting the wrong way.. and it is only just recently in one of my last therapy sessions, my psych said to me... OR, IT could have all just been dumb luck! At first I was taken aback as I thought that was quite dismissive, but I keep thinking about it and she is right, those people are pure evil, weather or not we were there, it was going to happen to someone, it was just 'Dumb Luck" that I happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time, or fallen for the wrong guy, shit does happen to people, and it hurts, I have since realised it is up to me to understand it, accept it, and then find a way to live with it or otherwise we are all living under their shadows and then taking our own lives, and they continue to hurt more of the people that love us.
I want to get better for my children, and so daily, I have to remind myslef that I have a purpose, that is to stay alive and continue with my thereapy and listen to what others are saying to help me..
In response to: Re: Self blame
MaggieSenior Contributor
@FreedomRoad Wow, so brave. I love your name. I have limited time ATM , but wanted to drop off a big welcome. We can do it, bit by bit.
In response to: Re: Self blame
Evie1Senior Contributor
I don’t know how to stop walking out of it is too scary
In response to: Re: Self blame
MaggieSenior Contributor
@Evie1 Are you trying to get further on in your journey than you are ready for? A genuine question.
Ive thought a lot about self blame, and wonder if we get through it by allowing some kind of self comforts in. Like knowing others understand your pain? You are not alone. Small comforts I know, but small steps is all we have to manage on.
I'm not in any way minimiseing anything you are struggling with, we are all struggling and trying to make some kind of sense out of the maze we find ourselves lost in.
In response to: Re: Self blame
Evie1Senior Contributor
I’m trying to understand y it was me trauma picked to mess with
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Help us push aside the stigma and discrimination surrounding complex mental health and change the way people talk about, and care for, mental illness.
SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.
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