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Evie1Senior Contributor
Because I’m a victim of sexual assault I self blame I’ve been doing it for too long and I don’t know if I’ll ever forgive myself yesterday i cracked with a few tears my friends where able to cheer me i just need someone to help me forgive myself because i know it’s not my fault but I can’t see it like that
In response to: Self blame
MaggieSenior Contributor
@Evie1 I understand exactly what you're saying. Your head knows it's not your fault, but your emotions/feeling don't seem to agree. I've found talking to someone I respect helpful, but that's not an easy ask, I know that. Finding a good fit is hard.
Im glad you have friends to cheer you up, even if it's for short periods of time. Can you believe some of the things they tell you about yourself?
If you can, look around the forum, there are others here who understand. You are welcome to join conversations. Welcome to the forums.
In response to: Re: Self blame
Evie1Senior Contributor
I’ve been told i asked for it when I was crying out in pain
In response to: Re: Self blame
MaggieSenior Contributor
Oh, @Evie1 So awful. So very awful. Feeling with you right now as I just don't have the right words. We both know that's not true, let's just sit with that. 💜💕💜💕
In response to: Self blame
outlanderSenior Contributor
In response to: Re: Self blame
Evie1Senior Contributor
I tried that it’s hard to talk about it so I found it very unhelpful
In response to: Re: Self blame
Ali11Senior Contributor
Hi @Evie1, please know that it is not your fault. We're sorry to hear that you've been carrying this with you and have been unable to find help. There are services and people out there that will be able to help you forgive yourself and move forward.
You may be interested in reading this SANE blog post about myths regarding trauma.
Additionally, have you been able to connect with 1800 Respect? 1800 Respect for survivors of sexual assault, domestic and family violence and you can contact them on 1800 737 732. They may be able to put you in touch with local resources and you may find someone who you are comfortable talking to. 
In response to: Re: Self blame
Unknown userMember
Hi @Evie1, and @Ali11, @outlander , @Maggie
@Evie1, I too know this pain and know how hard it is not only forgive yourself but eventually believe that it's not your fault. I too have had comments that fuel self blame and it makes it harder when you start to wonder are they right. I dont know your circumstances but finding the right help or person to talk to helps. It's not easy either I found it harder because it was fuelled with the inability to trust anyone who said they were there to help because growing they hurt me the most. I eventually found a psych who caught on to this and for about a year we just talked about random thing until eventually she got me to open still to this day do not know how she got me to start talking about it because everytime I think about its like I just started talking about it on my own.
Trust is the biggest issue for most I also found that talking to someone that has no connection to the situation helps for me that was a person I had never met before. Dont expect just talking to help either I had to learn different strategies to help keep myself calm especially in triggering situations.
And almost anything can be a trigger if it can be linked the situation. For me my main trigger was a specific men's deodorant spray and unfortunately it was extremely popular.
Strategies I learnt to use was meditation, self care activites that I get enjoyment from like colouring, slow deep breathing and grounding techniques. I mainly use 54321 technique.
In response to: Re: Self blame
Evie1Senior Contributor
My psychologist helps me
In response to: Re: Self blame
outlanderSenior Contributor
In response to: Re: Self blame
Evie1Senior Contributor
Maybe I scared tho it’s not easy to talk about
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Help us push aside the stigma and discrimination surrounding complex mental health and change the way people talk about, and care for, mental illness.
SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.
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