I am about to lose my cool

Hi @Eden1919 , sounds like you are really losing your cool and with good reason it seems. I haven't been in that much of a pickle trying to get help. I was more or less thrust into a situation and then had to figure a way out. I was put into a mental care facility involuntarily.

If your in NSW you could try the mental health line 1800 011 511. Theres also a phone number and chat service you can use on the websitre. I haven't tried any of the options so I do not know what they are like.

Is there a councilling service available at the uni that you could look into?

Wishing you all the best. Stay strong, try to be patient, make sure your eating well and getting enough rest. Don't let things get to breaking point. That's what I did and it wasn't wise.

how frustrating @Eden1919, sorry there isn't a psychologist or psychiatrist available to see you. It's a painful wait, the last psychologist I saw was a few weeks wait & I thought I was going to lose it. It felt like forever & my MI symptoms were raging & terrible at that time.

Have you found talking to a psychologist in the past helpful?

Yeah maybe like Gary said there should be a free uni councelling service, I looked into that recently for my young nephew for his depression & there was one at his uni.

I know it's not the same as a mh professional talking to us on the forum but is there anything you wanna talk about here? We can at least listen & give you some support.

Hang in there, you're doing very well in a tough situation. I hope there is something of interest in your assignments for you.

@Eden1919 I don't blame you. It is infuriating, and exhausting trying to deal with a situation like that. Can't offer much but just wanted to say I heard you and I'm glad that you are safe.

@Eden1919

Glad you are safe.

You are right. The services are stretched. Its funding issues. They should be more honest about the limitations, and not make promises that are not kept.

If reality testing is important. The services need that transparency.

All I can say is DO YOUR BEST.

I dropped subjects when sis went to hospital. It took me 9 years to finish a bloomin arts degree, by patient deferral and dealing with what was in front of me. I once waited for 2 years on a waiting list to get a "good older counsellor" and she did not like me and was nasty from the beginning. That has happened a few times in my life. Sometimes I get a good one.

One person I knew got himself a cool IT teaching job going to the interview from psych ward. It gave him strength ... to be able to do it ... inspite of the expectations and limitations of the services. Loved to boast he was paid more than the shrinks ...lol that was him.

Its your life. Grab onto it with both hands.

The forums can only do so much. You are doing heaps and sounding well in many ways.

Hugs Apple

Hey @Eden1919,

How are you doing today? This is understandably frustrating but know that you are not alone in this.

Thinking of you.

@Gazza75 @BryanaCamp @frog @Appleblossom @Ali11 Thanks everyone there are some uni services but i really dont want to mix uni and this stuff it would make me feel nervous and like constantly wary and i am trying to avoid feeling like people are out to get me and that just would not help that cause.

Today is really not going well i am tired and i feel horrible and honestly i cant take this eating stuff anymore i really cant and i feel like i am about to snap all the time and i am scared it is going to happen in class or somewhere around strangers. every little thing is too much and completely overwhelms me i burst into tears when i accidentally drop something on the ground or if i forget something and i am sleeping less and idk it is like i feel like i have energy but i still feel like crap, my psychiatrist who has been meant to call for weeks now still hasnt and i am so freaking sick of this but i hate phone calls and always get so nervous before them to the point i feel sick. ugh i just cant deal with everything it is too much even if there was no work for uni i would still not be coping at all and i keep having to lay on my bed and conver myself in a blanket to try and make it dark and quiet but not so dark that it freaks me out but just cause everything inside my head is so loud i cant deal with the outside noise too. ugh i want to scream at everyone and cry at the same time. why did they do this to me what did i do to deserve this.

Hi @Eden1919

I cant take your distress and the trauma away. I did not mean to downplay it, but even hanging on to your studies by a thread can help.

I know heaps of people at breaking point during their studies, but despite all the falling over and standing up again, all the doubts, and late nights trying to meet deadlines ... it is worth it. It is a good path.

I have had a hard week too and spent a huge amount of time curled up in bed in foetal position. Not reading or listening to music, just rocking gently. I no longer give myself a hard time about that, and try and allow myself the actual time to heal and recover, because after I do rest, I can often come back with enough confidence and energy to get lots of things done.

Take Care Eden

Have we talked about your course? What you are studying?

Cheers

Sending love @Eden1919 and @Appleblossom Often the hardest thing to do is forgive and love ourselves, it's a daily practice.

@Appleblossom thanks I am studying a bachelor of arts.

@Ali11 thanks.

I am so agitated today and i am really not feeling ok and idk what to do i keep just trying to pretend i dont exist. the constant agaitation that i feel has made it that i literally cannot relax my jaw like i almost have lock jaw at this point and it hurts all the time and i just physically cannot release it anymore even when i sleep it is cramped and i have to sleep with a mouthgard in my mouth because otherwise i grind my teeth terribly i just need it all to stop. everyone keeps saying push through things are worth it you will get there in the end but like i really honestly dont see how things are worth it like the only reason i am sticking around at this point is because others want me to and because i cant end up back in hospital again because that was too truamatic (this was just my experience i am not saying anyone should or shouldnt do anything) like i am so exhausted i am in so much pain and i really dont see what the point is. i am safe atm.

Ohh @Eden1919 I hear you about hospital. It is one thing I have been lucky enough to avoid.

What majors?

I did a BA too ... it took 8 years ...

I worked and had children also.

I also have a lot of issues with muscle tension and the teeth. I am not sure if it is the trauma or the meds. I have been working with various relaxation and calming techniques since early 1980s. Sigh ....

A lot of people find meaning in their lives through other people. There is a level in which that is really common, but also there is a level where we need to live for ourselves.