New to BPD and PTSD

Hi @Dove73. I'm new to this forum too and have a loved one with BPD. I really empathise with you on how hard it is. Going through cycles and episodes with her have led me to crying in the car as you have at the checkout. Very hard to not be anxious, I understand the unpredictability there.
Could I ask if shes in therapy mate?

Hi Beekind

Thankyou so much for replying. At the moment she has a psychologist and getting a psychiatrist. She has been in therapy and does well with following what she is asked to do which is good.

She is actually very proactive with her health so that is a relief.

At the moment we are just waiting for the medicine to work in her body and getting the right dose, they were going to do that in hospital but decided she was safe enough to go home and I help monitor any changes. It’s day 4 now and I am seeing some changes, today has probably been the best one in months. What I find hard is the unpredictability of it and what I wake up to the next day. Normally by the evening when she is tired because sleep has been a huge issue she is not doing well but today she has got through the day. My anxiety and my own PTSD is triggered as well because I grew up with this with my Mum and she hasn’t ever dealt with it aside from drugs and alcohol. So it’s been hard not having my family to turn too but my wife’s children have been amazing. I find that when we have people over like we have tonight whobis a close friend of my wife’s it helps me too because one of the things is the constant talking and often about the same things which is exhausting. Today I can see some of my wife again which has been so nice. I just find holding myself for the next trigger exhausting. It’s just so helpful to be able to talk to someone here who understands and is not connected. I really appreciate it.

😊 Dove73

No advice to offer @Dove73 but sending you love and support. Sounds like you're doing the best you can in a challenging situation, and while life may never be perfect, things will get better as the medicine starts doing it's thing and you begin to develop strategies for those potential triggers in public places

That sounds encouraging @Dove73. I hope you and your wife are able to remain hopeful about the medication.

How are you doing @Dove73? How has your weekend been?

Hi Ali11,

sorry i I haven’t responded to you, life has been like a roller coaster.

Its been pretty bad lately as my wife and I are under very stressful with our work at the moment and that has triggered my wife.

Last night she walked off in anger and I ended up going and looking for her because I was worried as there is a history of suicidal ideation with a plan recently. After 3 and a half hours she came home but was so angry because I. Had sought help from mutual friends and 2 were in the house and she thinks I over reacted because she had gone over to a neighbors house which she hasn’t done before.

she is swinging between being ok and then angry.

She wasn’t like this for the first 15mths of our relationship at all. In fact we had an incredibly good relationship. Since a work accident has triggered her mental health since then life has been unpredictable.

My fear at the moment is losing my best friend and wife to this, both physically and emotionally. When she is in a good place she tells me that I have copped the brunt of it and tells people how good I am but when things are bad all of that goes away.

i can see the person I married underneath all of this but just don’t know how to manage these times. She wants me to just listen and I usually do and sometimes it’s so she can tell me how she’s feeling but if I try to respond she says I’m not listening.

Is there any information around aside from what’s on this site? Just feeling sad at the moment for what we have as a couple being destroyed by this. There is currently a question that she has BPD as she has not been formally diagnosed but she has the behaviours. We thought it was a byproduct of Complex PTSD but now wondering if that’s not the case. She’s proactive in her mental health but right now can not access her Psychologist until September and so is just running on medication. I don’t know what to do?

Thanks so much

Dove73

hello @Dove73 saw you on the forum yesterday and wondering how you are going my friend

Hello @Beekind , @BPDSurvivor , @Determined , @Sans911 , @outlander , @Former-Member , @Faith-and-Hope

@Dove73 thinking of you as you navigate this difficult time and trust you and your wife can find the support you need 🙏

We have not had to deal with psychosis but my wife (who lives with bpd) has spent considerable time in a mental health ward and said terrible things about me ☹

You can find some of our story here and here that may be of use to you.

Happy to answer any questions or just to listen.

Hi Determined,

Thank you so much for the reply. I think what she is saying is the hardest part. My wife has never been in Psychosis like this before, it was like I was her ex partner who was abusive and my wife was saying things that her ex did.
She is now in the Mental Health short stay ward as of tonight and been in medication now for 3 days.
I think at the moment I'm searching for hope that when she comes out of psychosis and the paranoia that she will remember how much we love each other. Our relationship has always been strong so hoping it's strong enough for her.
I will go and read your story, thanks so much for sharing it with me.