Checking In

Hi @outlander

I think the reason why I feel stressed and uneasy because I don't feel safe (emotionally). I have a friend who tries to put it over me and tries to put works in my mouth. In a way that she is basically telling me how to live my life. I then become quite guarded and keep thing inward in a way to protect myself. I hope this is making sense.

I want to keep her at distance because I don't feel comfortable and something does not feel right. I have not seen her face to face in seven years or more, but we talk on facebook, and phone but we can go for months without talking. She wanted to visit me at my house, and she asked for my address, because her brother is seeing a specialist on Thursday, and she wanted to be dropped off at my place, and her brother would pick her up, when he had finished with his appointment, or we would meet for coffee, near where her brother, is having her appointment. This made me feel uneasy because she has never been to my place before, and because I live alone with my two dogs. So I am cautious who I let visit me. I resonded with that I was busy. I have appointments that day too and I had rescheduled the week before to visit my parents.

I don't feel like I am explaining this too well. I am not good at this kinda thing. I have other things bothering me but I think I want to sleep on it. I will see how I am tomorrow. I might be a bit tired tomorrow night and but more likely get back to you on Tuesday . I want to switch off a bit for the moment. Because I am at the sanctuary tomorrow from 8am to 5pm. It tends to take it out of me after being down there, and I just want to come home and make dinner and watch tv and chill out for a bit.

@TABI hope things improve soon too. I am nowhere as bad, as what I was, a few months back. I seemed to be up and down for a while there. I strugglewith similar issues and find it hard to stand up for myself. Thanks for opening up to me- its allowed me to do the same.It make me anxious too and especially dealing with people. Not everyone but I seemed to be struggling more. People seem to be quick to judge others instead on accepting of people.

hey hams @MDT

It always great to hear from you too

I think there are a few triggers and recent experiences that are causing me stress atm

Me not feeling emotionally safe with my friend and I think those concerns are valid

Interacting with others tends to be stressful for me

And a few things that I know that are bothering me but I am finding it hard to write it down- mainly fear is holding me back. I am going to try to write it out perhaps on Tuesday when I have time. I think what I need now is a bit of distraction and company. I need to unwind, so I am able to sleep tonight, otherwise I will be up half the night.

@oceangirl Hi oceangirl I am here now if you want to talk and will be for a couple of hours yet. Love peaxx

@BunniekinsThanks Pea just saw your message now. I need to do a bit of self care and probably try to get some sleep.

@oceangirl Hi oceangirl I hope you are feeling a bit better now.

@BunniekinsI'll try to catch up with you today sometime. Thanks for reaching out to me- it means a lot to me.

@oceangirl :) easier said than done isn't it.

@BunniekinsIt sure is. I'm still awake unfortunately. How are you going? I am feeling a bit better.

@oceangirl am about to head off for my walk will be back in about an hour if you are still around would love a talk. Love peax