@Sahara wrote:
@oceangirl73 wrote:
The dynamics of those two relationship could be difficult for you, and you have do what is best for you. And also can understand how they may impact you and why are affected by them- I'm not good at giving advice on relationships but being open and honest is the key and also sharing your reality with them. You may want to try to understand why they interact like this and what may have happen in their lives for them to behave like this- it may help , I am not sure.
At the moment for me I am focusing on my gym and meeting some new people. I would like to travel at the end of the year.
Hi @Former-Member,
thanks for writing and sharing your thoughts. You are so right.... I should be open and honest with my sister and my friend and to large extent I am. I also like to avoid conflict if at all possible as my time with each of these women is always limited and I don't want to spoil what time we have.
Also - I think I need to let go of my wish for them to change themselves. If they are satisfied with where they are at in their lives, then that is fine for them. I probably do need to make new friends, but I have struggled to do this over the last 2 years or so.
I am actually going to see my so-called 'best friend' next week and I am feeling a bit anxious about it - mainly becuase my husband and I have just bought a new house. I have feeling that my friend will be jealous because my new house is bigger than her house!! 
I know this is crazy, but that is what she is like.
Then she will try and hide her jealousy by making little sacastic comments which she dresses up as good-natured 'teasing'. But I just feel uncomfortable when she does this and I never know what to say. It's so weird. I think I am just very, very sensitive to criticism.
Its my pleasure to write and share my thoughts with you.
So much of what you have written resonates with me and I too don't like conflict either. I find interacting with people quite taxing on me and I am also quite sensitive to any form of judgement/criticism.
I also struggle to make friends and never had this problem growing up or in my mid to late 20's. I think its nice that you obviously want a closer relationship with these woman and you appreciate the time you spend with them- you would make a good friend and sister. Unfortunately no you can't change these woman and the only thing you have control over is yourself. I think opening up to someone who you have trust with or slowly opening to these two women but I would only do it slowly- I think that would build your confidence. I think with your sister, is their something you both enjoy doing or did when you were kids, that might help build a better relationship with her. You may find she is not so closed off as you think.
I don't think that is crazy unfortunately that is how some people are and I have no idea why they are like this and have dealt with similar people in my life and I often find I don't know what to say but I am getting better at this. I think because I am surrounding myself with loving and caring people who support me and I support them- we all have out talents and we should support each other to be happy and to lead fulfilling lives.
Btw everything with my specialist turned out okay and she is a good Dr. I am lucky in a way that she has been by side for a long time and not many people get this.
Hope you have a great weekend.
