Hi to all who have supported me on this very difficult journey since i recently joined the forum - @Zoe7 @Former-Member @BryanaCamp @CheerBear @Ali11 @Shaz51 @Meowmy @outlander @eudemonism @Appleblossom
I have mentioned to a couple of you that there is a particular reason why i am so scared that im never going to come out of this (over and above the normal fear that i think most of us experience along those lines).
My history has been that apart from some phobias which have restricted my life, i have never had issues with anxiety/insomnia as i am having now except under 2 specific circumstances. I first noticed extreme sensitivity to stimulants (tea/coffee/guarana/ginseng) approx. 25 years ago. It took a while to connect the dots but when i had these things, i experienced EXTREME anxiety, EXTREME insomnia, terrible burning sensations thoughout the body and head as previously discussed on this thread, hyper stimulated head (physically) and mind, dry mouth, nausea, fear/panic, upset tummy, frequent urination. This happened at 3 seperate periods in my life that i can think of in my 20's. I finally realised i was hypersensitive to stimulants and just needed to stay away from them. When i stopped having the teas/coffees, the symptoms subsided.
Well, in more recent years, i have had to have many iron infusions and after every infusion, i have experienced the exact same symptoms, usually for 5-10 days. It is horrendous but in the past, i have rode it out. I believe i am hyper sensitive to sodium (as a result of reaction to infusioms as well as the fact that when i eat high sodium meals, i dont sleep well, i get what i call a 'bad head' and if i have sodium several days in a row, i will start to develop anxiety. So here is my dilemma. What im going through now is exactly as i described above and it started last year after an iron infusion. This time i just couldnt ride out the symptoms so sought medical help. From that time, ive been on various medications (nothing which has really worked) and they have all pretty much contained sodium. So i had the big hit of intravenous sodium with the iron infusion, and every day since its been added to. And here i am 6 months later, not being able to tolerate multiple different medications, no better of than i was before, taking meds for sleep which worked for a little while and are now working less and less, still not on a long term med for anxiety, and still experiencing all those extreme symptoms. The problem i have is that nobody believes me! I know it must be hard for medicos to believe because it doesnt rly make sense, but its real! Thats what happens every time! And i am so so scared that i am never going to get better because they are never going to take me seriously and will continue to treat me with meds that have sodium in it (which most do). So hence why i am at a total loss, at my wits end, with no hope that anything is going to change, and knowing that i cant keep living like this. I have thought of bringing my appt forward (which i need to do if im going to keep seeing current pdoc thru the public system) and literally begging them to take me seriously, or at least humour me and not prescribe any meds with sodium in it (or meds that increase adrenaline because they are hyper stimulating to me). But i just dont think they are going to listen. And im getting desperate! The only other option i can think of is to get admitted to hospital and let them just drug me up to the eyeballs so i wont know the difference - but even that wont work long term coz id have to come off them eventually and id just be worse off! And im not convincced theres not other excipients in the medications that dont agree with me, so feel trapped. Am i just crazy like they think i am? They all tell me its not possible but the correlation for me is so strong that i cant not believe it, i just cant. My husband doesnt believe me and says as long as i keep believing that im not going to get better. I have 2 elderly lady friends that believe me and thats it. So as u can see, i have extra extra concerns about not ever getting on the right meds and getting better. Does anyone have any words off wisdom? I just really need help! Thank you.