Deep emotional pains

@Meowmy Hi Meowy and good morning 🙂 is renting an option for you? Rents have gone down in price quite a bit of late and to get a small 1 bedroom unit is much more affordable than what it once was. You could get one nearby where your mother lives so that you can visit but have the freedom to step away from her when she is being abusive to you.

@Zoe7 Yea, I try not to get sick myself. It is so hard. I don’t have any one in real life.Coming from very dysfunctional family is really the worst. Don’t have the confidence or skills to look after myself. Mum always trying to dampen down my confidence and independence. Feel no real connection to anyone in the real world. This morning, I just wanted to end it. Because mum won’t care anyway what I suffer. I don’t care if she have to go in a home for aged.

My depression is back. I don’t feel well.

Nice to read you on the forum. Hope it will lift me soon.

@Bunniekins Thanks for care. I have been thinking about that. The thing is my parents so controlling that I don’t have anyone I feel connected to in the real world. Also I don’t have the confidence or even skills to live independently I suspect. Sometimes I really just want to end it.

Thanks for care. Hope I will feel better soon.

If you need to consider a nursing home for your mum then that is okay @Meowmy You can only do what you can do and if she needs more csre than you are capable of giving then a nursing home may be the best option. Then you will also have a little space for yourself and can begin to live more independently. I understand that it may be difficult for you to do that but there are supports out there for you too.

@Meowmy Thinking about it is a great first step. Maybe you could look at some properties for rent. That may excite you to take that big step into independence. I know you can do it Meowmy. Love always greenpea xxx

@Zoe7 Thanks so much. That really helped. If I live independently, I don’t know if I can cope on my own. What do people do if they have no one in the real world ?

@Bunniekins thanks so much. You really help me. There is a place just near Mum ‘s place on lease. I have been thinking about it. I am not sure if I can live independently and not get sick. I have tried before, very time I got sick and was in hospital. I think it is very painful to live by myself and all the memories came to attack me what my parents did.

I think you have to start by making some connections @Meowmy but I know how hard that is. What kind of things do you like to do? Maybe there is a group in your area that you could join for one of your interests/

@Zoe7 @Should I move out first ? Or join some groups first? There is a local social group I can join.

I can't answer that for you but if there is a local social group you could join then that would be a good place to start @Meowmy