Standing in a crowded room

I feel like screaming at the top of my lungs but won’t even be noticed.

or I feel like I’m riding the rapids in a leaky boat about to tumble over the cascades.

Nothing brings me pleasure not even chocolate.

I’m just going through the motions day in day out.

This past week I’ve really been battling the blues, and schiz for good measure. A lot of negative coping like self harm urges have been floating about.

Can someone just talk to me? I’m in a very dark place and unsure if the light at the end of the tunnel isn’t a train.