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what the heck am i even meant to do anymore

Eden1919Senior Contributor

what the heck am i even meant to do anymore

I am so fed up with all of this. i try and do something "good" and it just screws everything up. i tried going to bed early because i thought i needed to get up and that it would be good to go to bed before freaking 5am but no i couldnt sleep and just layed in bed for hours and didnt sleep until like 6 and then woke up again at 9 and ugh now all day has been really intense and confusing i cant focus enough to study and spent the afternoon singing and dancing and just really buzzed and now i am physically a little tired but still feel like i need to go for a run and i want to scream at everyone and i just cant ugh i am so fed up why wont this crap just stop for enough time for me to do what i need to and ugh i am just so done right now $#@#******#$#$#@******

11 replies

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In response to: what the heck am i even meant to do anymore

BunniekinsSenior Contributor

Re: what the heck am i even meant to do anymore

@Eden1919 Hi Eden1919 yes sounds very familiar particularly the singing, dancing and running .... can you have a warm bath with epsom salts. That really helps my son2 when his is feeling manic. Can you go for a walk around the block, drink some herbal tea like chamomile is a good natural relaxant. I hear your frustration. We are all here with you Eden1919.greenpea xxx

In response to: Re: what the heck am i even meant to do anymore

Eden1919Senior Contributor

Re: what the heck am i even meant to do anymore

@Bunniekins i just went for another short walk i have walked nearly 7km today which is a lot for me normally. i dont have access to a bath i will shower later before i go to bed. i just feel so weird and idk what to do i havent got any herbal tea either it is just getting hard because i cant tell if i am doing certain things because i am reved up or if they are truly what i want to do but i just have more courage to do them. i just have so much study to do but i cant read over it to edit it a i just cant stay focused with it long enough to do it.

In response to: Re: what the heck am i even meant to do anymore

AliLCasual Contributor

Re: what the heck am i even meant to do anymore

I don't know if it will help you, but I always found classical music helpful when I was trying to study but couldn't focus. The music took up the part of my mind that wandered everywhere, amd using headphones meant I wasn't getting distracted by environmental noise.
Breaking it up into small tasks with regular breaks also helped. So instead of editing the whole piece, I'd go paragraph at a time, then stop for a minute. It was still hard, but needed a little less willpower.

In response to: Re: what the heck am i even meant to do anymore

Eden1919Senior Contributor

Re: what the heck am i even meant to do anymore

@AliL thanks i have been trying thoes things and they arent working.

i feel really weird right now. i cant describe it.

In response to: Re: what the heck am i even meant to do anymore

BunniekinsSenior Contributor

Re: what the heck am i even meant to do anymore

@Eden1919 Hi Eden1919 hoping that you finally got to sleep and that is a long and restful one. Love greenpea xx

In response to: Re: what the heck am i even meant to do anymore

BryanaCampSenior Contributor

Re: what the heck am i even meant to do anymore

hi @Eden1919 you poor little sausage, I hope you are feeling a bit better today & got some sleep.

I kinda have the opposite problem to you - I have no energy or motivation at all and overslept until noon today.

I have the same kinda problem to you with no ability to concentrate & a very short attention span. I'm trying to write a job application about 2000 words. It's very tricky and I'm nopt enjoying it at all. I'm doing a lot of cut & pasting which I know you can't do for uni. I can only read or write for a minute then have to get up and move around & do something. I've had 3 coffees to try to wake up & concentrate but it's no really having much effect. I'm getting to the point where I almost don't care if I submit gargbage even though I usually have quite high standards for my written work. I am using the method @AliL suggested just doing a tiny bit at a time.

anyways, sitting with you, I can't think of any helpful tips but I hope it helps to know you're not alone.

In response to: Re: what the heck am i even meant to do anymore

Eden1919Senior Contributor

Re: what the heck am i even meant to do anymore

@Bunniekins @BryanaCamp thanks.

i very much crashed last night around midnight and spent the rest of the night crying and curled up into a ball. then after i finally slept for a few hours woke up and cried some more i still feel like i am about to burst into tears at any minute and i am not sure how safe i feel either but i have tried contacting help lines 3 times in the last 12 hours and they all just keep saying they are busy and cant talk to me. i am exhausted and i feel horrible and i have a huge assignment i need to finish and 2 tests to study for one tomorrow and the other the next day plus 3 other assessment tasks i have to catch up on from joining a class late. the only thing i have managed to do was take my clothes to the washing machine. i literally dont have time for this crap right now i have too much shit to do my eyes hurt from all the crying and i just cant get anything done. i cant take this but i dont have any options left there is nothing left that can help and i just want a break i just want to be able to do f***ing normal things like a normal f***ing person. i dont understand why it never stops.

In response to: Re: what the heck am i even meant to do anymore

Unknown userMember

Re: what the heck am i even meant to do anymore

Hi @Eden1919,

I'm really sorry to hear that you have been having such a tough time last night and that it has continued today. That must be really hard to hear that services are busy and can't talk. I'm worried about you when you say "I am not sure if I'm safe" so I've sent you an email to check in.

Take care,

Tortoiseshell

In response to: Re: what the heck am i even meant to do anymore

Eden1919Senior Contributor

Re: what the heck am i even meant to do anymore

@Former-Member i am safe at the moment. i am just so tired and i think i need to contact my teachers but i just cant get myself to do it i dont even know what to say or what i am asking for i am just not sure i am going to be able to do the assessments in the next few days if this keeps going, i dont even know what to do and i cant freaking stop crying.

In response to: Re: what the heck am i even meant to do anymore

Unknown userMember

Re: what the heck am i even meant to do anymore

Hi @Eden1919,

That sounds really overwhelming if you are finding you can't stop crying at the moment. I can hear uni is a real pressure that makes it harder feel okay right now. Sometimes universities can have student support services, and there may be support you can get, or extensions. I know a lot of people on the forums are studying or have studied while managing their mental health, has anyone else had positive experiences receiving support from uni or tafe? @MDT @Queenie

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