Parents Supporting Unwell Adult Children

Thankyou so much,

You wrote....

Her counsellor knows how to help the wounds heal, and help her to talk about it in a way that eases rather than increasing her pain ..... it is important to address the trauma in increments, slowly, slowly ..... so if she wants to talk and it’s hard to be able to listen, maybe keep a book at your home (where she can leave it somewhere away from her physical presence) where she can come and write things down ..... and you will sit with her over tea or coffee as she does ..... in company with her.

Im going to put this in place, A Book. At our place

I realise now it will be, slowly slowly, she has made so much progress and I don’t want her to relapse.

Your input is invaluable at the moment, don’t feel quite alone now.

She came by again today!!

Thankyou

You’re very welcome @TuiGlen ..... (@ symbol then my username sends me a notification of your post)

💐

@Zono

This is the thread I mentioned 😀.

@MumOfAnAnorexic

Thanks for responding on your thread. It was good to hear back from you. I know you mentioned you and your son love cats. While looking for that thread to tag you into, I found this one which you may find interesting and helpful to read. It will also put you in touch with some other members who support adult children. Please dont hesitate to post and say hi here. At least one other member here also loves cats @Faith-and-Hope

My apologies for not also replying on your other thread. Im away from home and limited internet access.

I will keep looking for that cat thread to tag you in there too.

Btw if you put a @ before a members name, a notification will go to that members inbox to alert them that someone has responded to them. So just type in the @ sigh and a drop down box will appear. Just select the members name.

Sherry 😀

The hardest for me, is at what point is it mental issues.

I think that is a tough one to work out for most parents @MrHD .

Something I work from is to gently keep placing boundaries and order back into our working environment ..... keep using “please” and “thank you” .... keep straightening things up and putting away .... keep communicating when I am going out, where I am going, and roughly what time I expect to be back. It’s the things I want them to do .... so I keep setting that marker, and in their more recovered times, they commit to doing the same. It’s my way of saying I won’t be walked on, but I won’t challenge them directly over small stuff either. That can come later when / if they feel recovered enough to be able to take it up with them.

Smalk wins matter. They add up.

I hope this helps .....

Hi @MumOfAnAnorexic @Needpeace @TuiGlen .... anyone else around 👋💕

Small wins do matter @Faith-and-Hope, how are you going today?

Not too bad @Ali11 .... I had a bit of a testy morning, which was probably relief that my unwell one came through their procedure okay, mixed with some grief over losing my home of many years ..... feeling a bit more grounded this afternoon / evening.

Hi folks, jumping in on this thread as it is close to what I am experiencing. I have taken on the "parent" role for my sister for the past year. Our parents are mostly out of the picture (our father abused us as kids, and her mother is living in another state with another family and is only really there to buy her unsuitable clothes from time to time). So, I feel like the parent most of the time.

I've had to make the tough decision to not have my sister come back and live with me when she is released from hospital. Any tips from you guys on how to manage letting them be an adult, with also feeling like you need to do everything for them? I'm trying to not feel guilty about not taking her back, but I feel she needs this opportunity to stand on her own feet. I feel like it is the right decision, but still conflicted!

Thanks all, and love and support to all of you 🙂