Parents Supporting Unwell Adult Children

Sorry @me22 iI didn't mention my no. 2 son is also schizo affective, no 3 son Aspy and Coeliacs. Thank you so much for your comments, wish we could meet up, but I'm in Tassie

Hi and welcome to the forums @ME22 ....

Sending virtual hugs your way @Tufftimes 👋💕.

I turn up the music in the car. I find it helps.

And I am studying art, which meant getting a carer for one of my kids...... two more kids are at the same college, being a but hit-and-miss with attendance, but they are there ..... this year. Second try for one, third try for the other, but it’s still happening.

It’s brought art into the house.

Hi @TuiGlen 👋

I saw a post pop up from you earlier. I am not sure whether it was on the Lived Experience side or here on Carers, but I couldn’t access it, and I expect there was something in it that didn’t meet the Community Guidelines criteria.

If that is the case, there will

likely be an email in your inbox suggesting a change of whatever-it-is and a re-posting to the forums.

I just wanted to let you know that I received the email notification for your original post, and I hear you. Happy to chat with you here anytime too.

F&H

Hi,

Yes my post required editing, Ive done that and reposted it.

thanks for your reply,

As care givers, we are feeling a great deal more confident with the current conditions our daughter experiences at home, it’s been an emotionally draining journey these last 12 years.

thanks again.

@Needpeace

Come and meet some others who care for their adult children.

Thanks, you wrote....

I saw a post pop up from you earlier. I am not sure whether it was on the Lived Experience side or here on Carers, but I couldn’t access it, and I expect there was something in it that didn’t meet the Community Guidelines criteria.

The post is up, All sorted now.

Thankyou @Needpeace

A spontaneous visit by our daughter yesterday, she did that very often once, just pop in.

I feel it’s positive but will always expect his cycle of control to kick in again, absolutely loved the afternoon with our girl of a former time though.

She hasn’t had a drink for over six weeks🙏🏻.

A question, Is it part of her recovery to want to talk to us about stuff of long ago that she feels impacted on her, abuse, or should that be something we should encourage her to talk to her counsoler about?

Ill leave it there for today, it’s still just all a bit too hard.

Hi @TuiGlen

I think you will find that having found a voice about what happened to her has created something of a “spill”, in that she needs to get it out, talk about it.

If you can, listen with compassion.

If it’s too heavy going for you, you need to protect yourselves from that, and gently explain to her that you are there for her, and can listen to some of what she needs to say, but other aspects of her story will need to be talked about with her counsellor because -

Her counsellor is trained in how to manage the trauma and be far less affected by it, similarly to a doctor being able to stitch a wound or reset bones ..., it’s not for the parents to be doing that part ...... but the parents do remain close to love and support regardless.

Her counsellor knows how to help the wounds heal, and help her to talk about it in a way that eases rather than increasing her pain ..... it is important to address the trauma in increments, slowly, slowly ..... so if she wants to talk and it’s hard to be able to listen, maybe keep a book at your home (where she can leave it somewhere away from her physical presence) where she can come and write things down ..... and you will sit with her over tea or coffee as she does ..... in company with her.

They are a couple of suggestions. You may think of more that suit all of you better.

Hugs ❣️

Hi @Needpeace and welcome to the forums 👋

Thank you 🌻