Hello dear @Shaz51
Thank you for thinking of me and including me in your post reaching out for support.
Thank goodness you did reach out.
Can you see how much you are valued and cared for in all of the responses that you have received?
We cannot take away the physicial stress of the situation as you yourself know when offering support to so many others that you constantly do.
We can let you know how important you are; we can let you know how much you matter.
We can attempt to reassure you that you are giving as much as you can to all of those you love and are a carer for.
The caring role for you is huge.
As is your beautiful heart Shaz.
Your mum has dementia yet reaches out for you despite this illness as she is very aware of your strong love for her.
You can still let her know that you will see her when you can as she is currently so far away.
You will still speak to her on the phone. Perhaps set up a time with her nurse so that you have time to rest before and after. The nurse can then reassure her that her daughter is ringing at a certain time even though she probably won't remember. You cannot change that dear Shaz.
You do not have to reach out to her every day.
You can set some personal boundaries and take time for Shaz away from those you care for.
This is so very very hard to put in place, to start.
Once you have taken the first step in doing this even though some might be a bit grumpy at first. They will appreciate still having you when you are able. They will get used to it. They will actually love you all the more because they will see your strength grow.
This will also help Mr Shaz.
Mr Shaz is still very worried about you and this would be adding to the side effects of change in medication.
Making a time for Mrs and Mr Shaz even if it is 15 minutes where nobody can interrupt will help. No phone calls. Put the phone on aeroplane mode. (airport mode I call it laugh)
This will build up continuity and reassurance for you both without you even being aware.
Life is so very hard at times without the role of caring; which those of us who do, know that this scenario constantly changes.
This is why it is so important to have some consistent Shaz time in place.
No phone calls. The person can leave a message.
Again I have written screeds.
I care so much for you and want to offer you the words that I can; support you in this way.
I am with you as are your other friends on here.
Lastly can you ask for some help from the Carers organisation in your state. You certainly qualify.
Take care
Keep me in mind when you can
more big hugs xx
