Not sure what to do !!!

Hi @Shaz51

This is really rough on you and I hope I never put my daughter through something like this

I think I understand your Mum - I get it that she is independent and wants to do things her way - her choice etc - but she is getting frail at the end of all of this and other people tell she can't really manage all of this and it makes me wonder

It's a tough thought but I wonder if she is actually ready to leave - my father reached this stage - he was just short of his 91st birthday and I had bought him a card and a stamp that I still have all these years later - he was tired and didn't really understand his stroke I think - he mentally folded his hands and as he was a man of faith I understood.

He had lived a great life - he left me with so much love and so many good things to think about I feel he is in the next room and I know he is not but feel he is not far away.

Can you talk to your mother about this Shaz? - I know it's really hard - I can only look and think about my own experience

Sending my love - as much as I can

Your second Mum

Dec

Hugs @Owlunar , @Former-Member , @Former-Member , @Ali11 , @outlander

@Owlunar, my second mum

I think my mum has had it , she does not want more surgery , she is nearly 88 and she sais she has had a good life

I think she would just like to stay home and potter around

the other family members tell me to do this or do that which is hard , I think I will just have to be firm and say what my mum wants and they should repects her wishes xxx

I agree @Shaz51

Your family members will have their own opinions and want to have their say and try and influence you to have this done or that -

But you are right - I am positive your mother doesn't want any more operations and you can tell your relations - your mother has her own life and rights and her wishes need to be respected

My mother had a lot of bowel surgery and at the end of her life apparently bowel obstructions - I really didn't know much about it because this was my sister's domain and I wasn't welcome and kept out of it -

It's a difficult time

Dec

@Owlunar, I am here if you have any questions bowel obructions and bowel surgery and your mum , only if you want to xxx

Thans @Shaz51

Mum died of a stroke when she was 94 a few years ago - but it remains true I didn't know anything about her bowel problems during the latest years of her life

I can only imagine what that was like - and she had a miserable time after Dad died - but that wasn't the only problem

Dec

hugs my second mum @Owlunar

my mum had a stroke 12 years ago xxxxxx

Can i ask if your mum is still mentally well as in she doesnt have dementia? -- atthe moment she is ok @outlander

she is showing signs of dementia and her sister thinks so too

so will need to interact more in the futher xxx

Hello @outlander < @Owlunar , @Former-Member , @Determined , @Smc @Ali11 , @Former-Member , @Bunniekins , @Adge , @Appleblossom

looks like mum has picked up little being at home

she said today she wants to start doing the things I am doing for her -- she wants to do them

I am happy doing things for her

and now that the transition team is finished , she is still getting meals on wheels

figers crossed to see how long before she has to go to the hospital again