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Exo's Exposé

Exo's Exposé

Looking for somewhere to hide in the Forum, no offense to anyone, I'm just kinda used to my own space - it feels safer to me. I often feel like I'm 'butting in' on other threads, I want to say something but it isn't 'in-line' with the current flow of conversation.

It rained here yesterday, dogs & cats weren't falling from the sky, but the grounds wet, there's puddles in my driveway & it's soooooooo sooooooo much cooler 😄 Guru Google even promises more!! After this weird wet stuff stopped dropping from above, I took the dogs for their walk, I do this almost every afternoon, but after a storm with close lightning strikes, my main purpose is to check the fence is still upright everywhere. I'm happy to announce it was all in tip-top shape 🙂 I noticed new puddle spots all the way around, I was sad that some trees had to be pushed over for the fence line, but the dip of their absence looks quite beautiful with a drop of moisture shimmering within. When I had completed the usual circuit I by-passed returning into the house-yard & wandered through to the dam. I think I may have been a little rain-drunk, I was hoping to see water in it, there wasn't any. I even went & stood in the very center of it's base, I think I was expecting to sink in mud - I didn't; but the cracks are gone . . . & they were huge. So if the Guru comes through with it's promise, there may yet be a puddle for my Staffy to play in 😉

I've decided to leave my camping trip to the beach for another week, rain wouldn't stop me - it rarely rains 24 hrs a day, but storms have - they often have devastingly strong winds that can break off & pick up reasonably heavy objects, that become dangerous ammunition. I've been emailing with the owners of this place, I'll still be in the off-peak season if I leave it another week - though I worry being so close to the Easter holiday, there's a more likely chance of more people. I keep telling myself I've just got to 'get over' that, that that would be all part of the experience - but I know I'm lying to myself. I picked this spot mainly because of the dog-friendly off-lead beach, but also because on the satelite view of Google maps I could see that there's no towns around it. It's one of the most isolated camping parks I've seen {that's within 5 hours of home, well - maybe just a little more}. It also admits it has old amenities, I saw negitive feedback about the place for those reasons - I think if you want to go to a resort . . . that's where you go - not to a place that describes itself as a rustic, old fashioned bush camping park 😉

Missing you Mazy Loads of love & support @Mazarita

1141 replies

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In response to: Exo's Exposé

Re: Exo's Exposé

Hey @Exoplanet . I’m sorry I misunderstood and I can see how sad that must make you feel. I turned to the Guru for insights about not remembering things and I don’t know your past (and don’t need to ☺️) but I found this which may or may not match your experiences.

Edit. Oops 🙊 forgot the link https://digest.bps.org.uk/2015/06/01/some-perfectly-healthy-people-cant-remember-their-own-lives/

Edit being a goose and correcting mistakes 🤦‍♀️

It also made me think that maybe its a kind of cool and unique experience to only live in the present, one that many of us struggle to do. Perhaps this is your very mild superpower 😄💜🤗

In response to: Exo's Exposé

Re: Exo's Exposé

Hi @Exoplanet and to you too @Teej

I also struggle with chunks of memories lost and other chunks where I don't know what order they happened in. Makes me very unsure of myself at times. And my adult child is the opposite - has really specific memories and vivid details of lots of the times I can't access in my mind. It's really challenging at times. All I can do is concede to them that they are more likely to have it right than I am, but sometimes I do that knowing that they actually have some of the details wrong too, just for the sake of peace in our relationship. I used to be less submissive about this sort of thing but just don't have the energy for debates about the past any more. I have come to accept (well, most of the time) that there are some things I'll never know, especially from periods of time where I was manic and/or in psychosis. It's tricky.

I also see the advantages of being able to live 'in the moment' @Teej

As they say ... "Yesterday's history, tomorrow's a mystery, live for today". There are many philosophies that follow this guideline.

In response to: Re: Exo's Exposé

Re: Exo's Exposé

My house is void of camping gear. I've been gliding over google maps, day dreaming about the next spot, the next excitement, the next change. I don't think my camp trips have been a waste of time & effort, I think maybe they're a learning curve. Even without cystal clear memories, I think I am discovering some basic likes & dislikes for me at this point in my life. I like the feeling of experiencing something different to my backyard, I love my place, it's beautiful, peaceful & the most safety I ever feel. I dislike pushing my poor old body for long trips, just to feel awkward around other people. It's not that I don't like people, my brain has 'learnt' not to trust them. I think I'm looking for 'the spot', somewhere I can return to on a regular basis; enough to build a feeling of safety so that I can relax. I know I'm looking for somewhere cooler, I'm in Qld, though towards the bottom left corner - my closest coastline is about 6 hours away; but the eastern side of Australia in general is the most populated. I don't think it's viable for me to dream about the western side, the distance is quite great; but I'm daring to contemplate the southern one. I'm forming a plan, to head inland, seems a bit crazy, but I'm sure it'll have a beauty of its own & it might remind me that I do not live in the desert, I do have trees surrounding my home & when it rains there is grass - I know there's places where that isn't the case. Once I made it to the southern state, I'd head down, I figure that route would be much quieter, & as I'd have to make many overnight stays {now that's dreaming, haven't even done 1 overnight stay & continue on yet!} the places I'd pull in at would have a much lower population. I know I'm probably not being realistic, but how can I be realistic without experiencing something for real . . . at least try . . . . well, at least think about it 🙂

Mazy @Mazarita @eth @Teej @Shaz51 @Zoe7 @Bunniekins @outlander @Sophia1

In response to: Re: Exo's Exposé

Re: Exo's Exposé

The dreaming of and planning is often just as valuable as the actually doing @Exoplanet It helps to take you out of your own head and explore what is around - then you have a bank of places you would possibly like to visit and can work out which one is best according to distance, amenities and environment. Have fun in the thoughts of the different places you would like to go to Hon

In response to: Re: Exo's Exposé

Re: Exo's Exposé

Hi @Exoplanet it might be a ways from where you are, but yesterday I remembered a place called Arrawarra just north of Coffs Harbour that might be suitable to you. It's very small and very beautiful on the coast.

In response to: Re: Exo's Exposé

Re: Exo's Exposé

@Exoplanet Your spirit of adventure is infectious 🙂 I know you can do it. Exoplanet can do anything she puts her mind to :):) I remember my ex and I when we were first dating went for many camping trips away. I will never forget them. These are adventures that you should do while you still can. We travelled around nsw and then the sa and nt and vic. We went everywhere.

In response to: Re: Exo's Exposé

Re: Exo's Exposé

I love that you are planning your next camping trip @Exoplanet . It inspires me too. In my old life we went camping at least twice a year every year, sometimes more. We looked like the griswolds camping with everything including 4 or 5 mountain bikes most times. There was a few trips we took 6 bikes 😮. It was a big 4WD with roof rack packed high, trailer and things tied to trailer with 4 boys often asking 'are we there yet'. My kids were camping from birth and one we were actually camping with on his due date, he’d been born a bit earlier. One of those places was an 11 hour drive but we had it to ourselves, and by ourselves I mean it was our family and usually 4 or more other families travelling in a convoy. The kids have the best memories of it.

I miss it terribly but struggle to bring myself to do it on my own. I have a tent and basic camping gear still but not the confidence to do it on my own. I think for me it carries lots of memories of my old life that make it a bit painful too. I always look at the camping catalogues at this time of year to see what camping stuff is on special but that’s as far as I get. So I am more than happy to live vicariously through your trips and planning and hope that one day I find my big girl pants and go on my own with dog, he would love it so much. He’s actually an awesome camping dog, like my first dog who went everywhere with me before kids and slept in my swag with me. She never wandered far and was so loyal. This one is similar although he doesn’t leave my side at all. I think it’s the kelpie and both were rescue dogs.

Another factor is money and my car isn’t so great.

anyway best wishes and loved reading about your planning and that you are facing this as a new challenge. 💜🤗

In response to: Re: Exo's Exposé

Re: Exo's Exposé

Like @Teej said , I love that you are planning your next camping trip too @Exoplanet

In response to: Re: Exo's Exposé

Re: Exo's Exposé

I' m off to the big smoke today, gotta book my car in for some more work - they always find something else that needs doing when I get it's general maintenance done. I'll finally do some grocery shopping . . . it's only been a month 😉 I won't take the puppies, it's too long & boring in the car & the Staffy starts to amuse himself with anything he can chew to pieces back there 🙂 I'm thinking about pulling into the next town over on the way back & getting a pizza! I've been getting by on the basic basics for the past week or so & I think I feel like a splurge! We'll see if I can delay the bee-line back home after facing the city . . . I usually can't. As I sit here it doesn't feel like I'm going to do anything different today, but it's there, not even in the back of my mind, it's in the fore-front - I've got to. In the past I would have done stuff myself, but I've also made some drastic mistakes in the past also; I'd done radiator clamps up too tight, cutting through the hose & ended up ceasing the motor! . . . I've done alternator belts up too lose, so they don't turn things around properly & slip - flat batteries all over the place . . . no thanks. I love my little car it's brilliant! It gives me the reassurance that I can get away if I need to, or when my head lets me & there's no public transport out here {not that I'd be able to use it if there was}, so it's a real necessity. It sets another processes in motion too, somewhere in the next 2 weeks following making the appointment, I'll wash said beauty vehicle 🙂

Love to all that need or want it

Mazy @Mazarita @eth @Teej @Shaz51 @Zoe7 @Bunniekins

In response to: Re: Exo's Exposé

Re: Exo's Exposé

@CheerBear I spent years feeling lonely because I didn't have another Human Being in my life. But the whole time I had very patient four-legged company that didn't take offence that I seemingly ignored the fact that they were constantly there by my side. I'd have to say I'm glad I'm finally over people, I finally see the beauty of another living creature that chooses to be by my side, despite my 'different' ways. I love their love, it's pure, non-judgemental, totally accepting - I have never met a Human Being that can do that.

Lots of love to you

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