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Exo's Exposé

Exo's Exposé

Looking for somewhere to hide in the Forum, no offense to anyone, I'm just kinda used to my own space - it feels safer to me. I often feel like I'm 'butting in' on other threads, I want to say something but it isn't 'in-line' with the current flow of conversation.

It rained here yesterday, dogs & cats weren't falling from the sky, but the grounds wet, there's puddles in my driveway & it's soooooooo sooooooo much cooler 😄 Guru Google even promises more!! After this weird wet stuff stopped dropping from above, I took the dogs for their walk, I do this almost every afternoon, but after a storm with close lightning strikes, my main purpose is to check the fence is still upright everywhere. I'm happy to announce it was all in tip-top shape 🙂 I noticed new puddle spots all the way around, I was sad that some trees had to be pushed over for the fence line, but the dip of their absence looks quite beautiful with a drop of moisture shimmering within. When I had completed the usual circuit I by-passed returning into the house-yard & wandered through to the dam. I think I may have been a little rain-drunk, I was hoping to see water in it, there wasn't any. I even went & stood in the very center of it's base, I think I was expecting to sink in mud - I didn't; but the cracks are gone . . . & they were huge. So if the Guru comes through with it's promise, there may yet be a puddle for my Staffy to play in 😉

I've decided to leave my camping trip to the beach for another week, rain wouldn't stop me - it rarely rains 24 hrs a day, but storms have - they often have devastingly strong winds that can break off & pick up reasonably heavy objects, that become dangerous ammunition. I've been emailing with the owners of this place, I'll still be in the off-peak season if I leave it another week - though I worry being so close to the Easter holiday, there's a more likely chance of more people. I keep telling myself I've just got to 'get over' that, that that would be all part of the experience - but I know I'm lying to myself. I picked this spot mainly because of the dog-friendly off-lead beach, but also because on the satelite view of Google maps I could see that there's no towns around it. It's one of the most isolated camping parks I've seen {that's within 5 hours of home, well - maybe just a little more}. It also admits it has old amenities, I saw negitive feedback about the place for those reasons - I think if you want to go to a resort . . . that's where you go - not to a place that describes itself as a rustic, old fashioned bush camping park 😉

Missing you Mazy Loads of love & support @Mazarita

1141 replies

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In response to: Exo's Exposé

Re: Exo's Exposé

My Doctor appointment is tomorrow, I've been putting it out of my head as best I can. I don't really know what I'm going to say. Just what I think is wrong & ask for her to give me an examination & her opinion. My biggest fear is that I'm going to be pushed, I don't want surgery or radiation, I don't see the sense in that; I just want to manage the discomfort involved & to be able to warn my Daughter . . . I think I'm hoping she'll feel sorry for me, maybe realize that I've given her 35 years of love & support & only got angry at her once in the past 20. What have I got to live for, a very limited solo existence. Even if I did go through treatment, even if it was successful, I still have to end, everybody does. I don't know what I'd do with the dogs while I received treatment, & the recovery would be a lonely, solo, unpleasant experience; I'd rather just face my end that way, then it would stop, it will all stop.

In response to: Re: Exo's Exposé

Re: Exo's Exposé

Oh @Exoplanet . I’m sorry I’ve been away and missed reading your posts. I’m so sorry that you are going through this alone. I’m not sure of the nature of it as I missed the posts. I hope your daughter does come and support you through this with love.

Ill be thinking of you and hoping for the best. 💜🍀

In response to: Re: Exo's Exposé

Re: Exo's Exposé

thinking of you @Exoplanet 💐

In response to: Re: Exo's Exposé

Re: Exo's Exposé

hoping today went ok a your appt @Exoplanet xo

In response to: Re: Exo's Exposé

Re: Exo's Exposé

@Exoplanet, thinking of you sooooo much my friend , are you ok xoxoxox

In response to: Re: Exo's Exposé

Re: Exo's Exposé

Hope today went smoothly @Exoplanet, sending you love

In response to: Re: Exo's Exposé

Re: Exo's Exposé

Oh @Exoplanet

That is such a difficult experience.

I now understand more about your feeling so alone.

Hearing news of that kind knocks you off your centre ..your core..

I also can understand your questioning processes....your thoughts...your family....your fur babies...

all of that is too much to handle on your own though..

It is very brave of you to face the doctor..

I realise now that appointment would have passed ..

There are no magical words...

Hugs were what helped me ....words did not..hug those beautiful dogs of yours...

my cats knew..your dogs will too..

one day at a time my friend...

you will find your way...

be gentle with yourself and let your feelings flow within a safe space...

the staff at the surgery might be able to assist with some information on help with your dogs..

know that you have many many people here holding you...

In response to: Re: Exo's Exposé

Re: Exo's Exposé

@Exoplanet Hi Exoplanet thinking of you wondering how you are going. You are so loved on the forum. Your adventurous spirit personally brings me so much joy. I love hearing about your pups too and your words fill me with such admiration for your strength and courage. All I ask is for a press on the support button so that I know you are okay. If you can manage a few words that is even better. Stay strong, we are here for you. Love greenpeax

In response to: Re: Exo's Exposé

Re: Exo's Exposé

The Doctor is already pushing for surgery, she said if I didn't want chemotherapy that's ok. She asked why I didn't want to remove the cancer, I tried to explain. I don't want to go through that process, just to end . . . . everybody does. My Mother had 7 major cancers, she had major operations for the first 4, the 4th being a mastectomy, then she developed 3 more, of which nothing could be done. My Grandmother also developed breast cancer & my Brother died of lung cancer, I think it's safe to say my family is prone to it. I am over 50 years old, I live alone & don't have another human being in my life. Why is it so wrong to accept death, this isn't suicide, I didn't go out & deliberately catch cancer. She got her receptionist to make an appointment for a mammogram for me, it's tomorrow. One step at a time she has said, I'll take that first step, once official I'll tell my Daughter & my Sisters. My Brother didn't say anything, the first I heard of his illness was being told when & where the funeral was. I guess that's something else I should arrange. I wasn't close to him but it was a shock & it felt wrong, so I will tell them, as I am telling my friends here on the Forum.

@Mazarita @eth @outlander @CheerBear @Bunniekins @Sophia1 @Teej @Sophia1 @Shaz51 @Ali11 @Appleblossom

In response to: Re: Exo's Exposé

Re: Exo's Exposé

@Exoplanet .I’m so sorry. I am not that fond of the choice you are making but I respect its your choice whatever you decide and will support you in that. It was a very brave post and thank you for sharing it with us. We all do truly care for you and want the best for you.

Good luck with the mamogram. I’m hoping it’s something different to what you think but understand that is not likely given your family history.

Im hoping your daughter and sisters give you the love and support you need going forward. I’m sure you’ll have much support here too. Please keep writing here if it helps you. 💜🤗

sending many dog/human hugs.

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