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out of character

outlanderSenior Contributor02 Mar 2019, 6:33 pm AEDT

out of character

hi all

Im finding myself to be doing things that are out of character for me. One thing in particular is getting angry. i get angry really quickly even over small things- sometimes it diffuses quickly other times while i dont explode im in a mood all day. im also really intolerant with things.

when people talk to me (offline) i lterally just want to walk away or tell them to leave me alone or stop talking to me. other things is lately i cant stand being around my pop and his habits. before they didnt really bother me that much- annoying sometimes but not enough to really bother me but things like his biting his nails, grunting and breath holding (like he holds his breath then grunts when lets it out) and some of his other habits.

ive stopped wanting to help much and when people ask it pretty much doesnt feel like ive got a choice in it and evne that makes me quite angry.

i hate that im being like this and i dont really know why but im just angry.

could anyone maybe shed some light on this?

12 replies

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In response to: out of character

BunniekinsSenior Contributor02 Mar 2019, 8:18 pm AEDT

Re: out of character

@outlander Hi outlander if I were in your position I would be as grumpy as hell to! It is about time you got grumpy! You go girl!!!! You give so much to people and are very accomodating to your family in particular and from my perspective I cannot see it very much reciprocated. In other words I think you are under appreciated.

What to do about it Idk .... as it is not good for you to remain grumpy ..... maybe you can write a list of all the times and things that are making you grumpy and endeavour to change them in a positive way. An example would be if you feel that you are being taken advantage of by your pop you can either leave the room and leave him to carry on without you or say something like 'Hey pop I don't like the way you are treating me. It makes me feel sad and undervalued'. He won't like it and will disagree but you will be able to get it off your chest.

Anyway that is my 3 cents worth. Again stay as mad as hell but do something about it in a positive way to get positive changes in your life :). Love greenpea xxxx

In response to: Re: out of character

outlanderSenior Contributor02 Mar 2019, 8:43 pm AEDT

Re: out of character

you made me giggle @Bunniekins
im not someone who gets angry all that often, but seems im in a constant grumpy mood for ages.
unfortunatly even though im pretty sure my anger is stemming from my situation and the people around me it is also coming out around other people as well. We are in a new horse club and he people are quite nice so im trying to reciprocate that but im not sure its coming out that way. its putting me in quite a sticky situation, im not wanting to be grumpy or intolerant but i cant seem to help it.

i dont really want to be the grumpy carer either but at the moment i can barely stand being in the same room and that makes me upset aswell.
ive spoken to pop before- a few times but he has short term memory issues and long term becasue if i meantioned to him the few times where ive said dont talk like that etc he wont remember it either and i already know he wont/cant change his attitutude....

it is really hard little pea, trying to be the good 'strong' person all the time.

what a mess this is!

In response to: Re: out of character

AppleblossomSenior Contributor02 Mar 2019, 9:52 pm AEDT

Re: out of character

@outlander

I agree with @Bunniekins 's post.

You have a few reasons to be angry and need to find some ways of expressing it. There is always a reason.

Also find ways not to let it get you too grumpy.

Maybe when people are telling you to do things work out if it is an immediate or necessary thing or could be planned better, that you have a busy time or a being not available at times. Saying ahead of time that you need a few hours ... etc ??

In response to: out of character

MDTSenior Contributor02 Mar 2019, 10:17 pm AEDT

Re: out of character

hey @outlander

Sounds to me like your anger is a rational response to what's going on around you. Do you have any outlets?

In response to: Re: out of character

outlanderSenior Contributor03 Mar 2019, 8:06 am AEDT

Re: out of character

Yes @MDT
I do quite rigorous exercise, art, horses when i get the chance to go on my own.

In response to: Re: out of character

outlanderSenior Contributor03 Mar 2019, 8:14 am AEDT

Re: out of character

The trouble sometimes is that i dont really know why im angry like this morning ive woken up abit grumpy and nothings set it off, i think i was gritting my teeth last night as theyve woken up abit sore but nothing really was setting me off then either.
Then mum sends me a msg and its made me cranky again. It was over something to see if i could help. Im annoyed at that as shes had all week to tell me but wait till the morning of (today) to ask me but at least i know why that made me annoyed. I am busy this morning so i said i didn't know if i could help.
Im suppose to be going out later and i want to go there but im worried how im going to come across even unintentionally. I usually become happier so hopefully that happens today too.
@Appleblossom

In response to: Re: out of character

MDTSenior Contributor03 Mar 2019, 10:19 am AEDT

Re: out of character

Outlets are important @outlander
As for the rest of it, sounds like it's coming from other people and not caused by you and what you are doing. So it's from outside. Does that make sense?

In response to: Re: out of character

MDTSenior Contributor03 Mar 2019, 11:58 am AEDT