I'm sorry to hear that you are so unwell and trying to cope with what sounds like an acute episode while being a responsible parent and thinking about how you will be able to look after your daughter.
Good to hear that you have been on the phone to counsellors today and that the first one was helpful, the second one not so much.
I am not a counsellor so cannot offer you advice on what and how to care for yourself overnight. However, I would like to offer the following thoughts to you:
- You are not alone in this world. There are many people who care and feel empathy for you and your daughter, even though they are not right there with you now. You will get through this; just keep telling yourself that you are strong enough and you will be strong enough.
- You have said that you were thinking about ringing the ambulance and get in and see a doctor earlier. If you are continuing to feel so unwell this evening, ring the ambulance immediately. You can take your daughter in with you. By taking this action, ou are being responsible for yourself and you are being a good parent.
- You have reached out through his forum which is a good positive decision. Think about who else you can reach out to for help this evening and in the days ahead. Do a mind map on a piece of paper and write these organisations, groups and individuals down. Then find out their details and contact them by telephone and email.
- I think you should ring the telephone counselling service again, as many times as you need to during the night. That is what they are there to do, to listen and support people in crisis. (When you're feeling recovered, I suggest making a complaint about the poor treatment you received from the second counsellor; obviously not tonight but in the days to follow. You deserve more and better than that.) But the important thing is not to let this one poor counsellor/call put you off from telephoning again, as many times as you feel the need to speak to someone.
- Decide right now that your daughter will not be going to school tomorrow because you are so unwell. You need to attend the doctor's appointment in the morning. Who can you ask to stay with your daughter? If you don't have family close, what about asking a neighbour (who you trust) or ask your daughter's friends' mothers to help you. Again you probably know more people than you think you do, even though they may not be close friends.
Anyhow I am thinking of you this evening and wishing for your recovery. I hope my thoughts are not too cliche - I know that it is not easy for you - but you are reaching out for help and it is right and sensible that you do ....and please keep doing so. If you don't do it, you won't get the help you need now, and your daughter loves and needs you.
