The Beer Garden

I'm here @Jacques. What's going on?

Hi @Former-Member,

Sorry to interupt, just htought i would join the conversation, feeling lonely tonight, i am worried about my girlfriend and i had a fight with a family member today, everything has just gone so wrong today.

feeling low and alone

@Jacques I'm really sorry to hear that it's been awful. Do you want to talk about the fight or what's going on with your girlfriend or prefer to be distracted by something else?

no it is ok, my aunt said some things about how wonderful her children where, she is almost living on the street and they are earning big money, i got upset and said they where not good children for allowing her to live on the street.

I became so anxious i was sweating, shaking uncontrollably and i was having really bad thoughts, i took some meds to calm down, and i managed to get a little sleep to help get me through.

my girlfriend was so kind to me and i shut her out, now i am scared she is struggling so much with her own mental health i am scared she has done something silly.

so now i am so anxious, but i have to wait until morning to see if she is ok. gosh today has been so horrible, i just feel so confused and frustrated and angry at myself over how i handled everything.

now i feel bad reaching out for help even though i have not been on here for so long, i feel guily and selfish

@Jacques There is no need to feel guilty that's what the forum is for .....reaching out to others.

As far as your Aunt goes I can see it would make you feel really sad and angry that her children don't have the compassion and decency to help look after their mother. It appears that they are still a great source of joy and pride for her though so I wonder if it's worth worrying about because ultimately they still bring her happiness in her world of poverty. I know this is messed up but I'm thinking that if her circumstances can't change maybe her having pride in her children is something still that is good in her life. I wish it wasn't that way though, that she could have pride and be cared for by them.

I know you would never have done anything to intentionally hurt your girlfriend and I'm sure she knows that too. Can you write her a letter or email now to tell her how you feel and how your MI got the better of you in the heat of the moment.

Is her something silly likely to be life threatening? Can you contact her at all?

Hi @Jacques 😘

That's a tough situation to wait on .... can you text your girl to just soften things a bit ? Maybe just something like, "I'm sorry. Thinking of you. Hope you're okay ?"

Even if she doesn't answer - she might be asleep - it will give you a way of expressing your emotions that are feeling so tied up in this moment.

Its not selfish to reach out for support .... it's necessary. You are as important as anybody else you are thinking about and caring for, and you have to lay a place at the table for yourself as well, so to speak .... you need to feed yourself too .... physically and emotionally.

Good for you expressing yourself to your aunt. You are entitled to your own opinion amongst family and friends. They don't have to agree with you ....

I hope chatting about it helps.

Its good to see you and hear what you have to say ....

💗🍏

Hi @Former-Member 😊

Hi @Former-Member,

Gosh you are so right, i never thought of it that way, you are so right, it does bring her happyness her children are sucessful and well off. i should have shown respect and compassion.

i need to stop reacting to things ,but i just don't know how. i guess i am unhappy and want others to be the same 😞

i have written to her in instant messaging, but she is offline, i have also sent a small message to her phone, but it is complicated, her family don't know about us.

yes, she has tried several times this year to take her own life. i am so scared. she is the love of my life. she is so kind caring and loving. i am so lucky, i just hope i have not ruined what i have 😞

thank you so much for talking to me @Faith-and-Hope and @Former-Member.

i am trying so hard to be on here more, i have fallen into a rather big hole, everything has spiraled over recent months, i am not sleeping for more than an hour at a time, i am so exhausted and anxious.

i just don't know how to get myself back to a better head space.

i am really trying. i am fighting so hard.

@Jacques Don't be hard on yourself about your Aunt. I would have reacted the same way if it was someone I loved. I am a very reactive person and it's easier to have that vision from a distance. I think that perhaps you can put this one behind you for now. It's something you don't need to worry about.

I think that this may upset your girlfriend but not be enough to tip her over. I suspect she would know about how you react to stressful situations. If she lives with family there is a good chance they would be looking after her and be a deterrent. I know my family in the house is a huge deterrent to me trying. I think perhaps writing a letter the old fashioned way or a detailed email may help you to let go of some of the emotion and then tomorrow she'll be able to read and share how you felt about it. Can you take something to help you sleep tonight so you can deal with this tomorrow when you see her with a clearer mind? Does this help?

yes you are right, you are so wise, i can't take any more meds because i have already taken some and need to be careful. so i don't think i will sleep tonight, i just need to distract. and keep safe.

sorry to make the tone so low here. i did not mean to.

thank you for chatting with me, what usually is said here? what does everyone talk about. maybe a distraction would help.

do you struggle sleeping too?