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A new start (kind of)

A new start (kind of)

Hi @Shaz51 @Zoe7 @outlander @TAB @Sam3 @utopia @Faith-and-Hope @Appleblossom @oceangirl @Sans911 @Snowie @Former-Member @soul @BryanaCamp @Former-Member @Bunniekins and whoever else is there in forumland

I have tagged some of you because we are speaking lots and some others haven't been around for long. If it's too much for you then that's okay I respect that. I won't take it personally.

I have decied to start up a new thread after my psychiatrist appointment today. Off to a new start.

Simply put, he made the point that I am pressuring myself to do stuff far more quickly than what I thought I could. When this approach fails, it feeds back into the loop that was there before (the "i am not good enough", "I have limited time", "I have wasted my life" etc).

He said it was good I didn't go to hospital and avoided ending up there. This doesn't help. What does help is changing the approach etc.

It was a good appointment. I see him again in the morning and then maybe someone else next week.

So it's not entirely hopeless or lost now.

He thought that pressuring myself to go and get this visa would be the wrong decision, given my state of panic yesterday and also this morning.

He said that I need to hold off on pressuring myself. By saying "okay now that I am in Australia for a bit longer, I need to go and find a job quickly" because this is simply unhelpful. It's the wrong attitude and will only feed back into those loops.

So am I feeling more settled? Yes. Do I know what is next? No. Does this bother me? No.

I see my psychologist tomorrow afternoon. I will get something from my psychiatrist in the morning about all of this I think, which he said he can send off as part of the extension on the visa (which lasts for 2 years anyway). It's just a case of extending the timeframe for when I can receive it.

This would effect my chances of working in defence, mi6 etc but these are already off the table for me given my history anyway. The same is the case for the military and police. It does seem like some things are cancelled out because of my MH, but maybe they are things I was never keen on anyways.

That's a side issue for now.

Going to the UK - still a goal. It's a case of how I get there and WHAT I do when I get there. We have established that rocking up with no job or place to live is too chaotic. Especially based on my experience and degree background and skills. But the UK is a goal. My Psychiatrist said "Poland is always there" so I think it might be worthwhile sending them an email asking if I could be either placed on next year's list OR alternatively get some of my money back given the circumstances. Again, not my concern for now.

My concern at the moment is explaining all this to dad. My Psych spoke to my mum today too so she is in the loop. I think he will understand, he wants what is best for me. It takes some adjustment and time. But this is life and how we live it.

THanks forumites. See you a bit later today

Edit: I heard today that one of my old tutees that i helped in 2017 is working and is at uni. Doing well and studying. I joked that we should meet up for coffee and then i can get a job at the same place lol. So today has had a silver lining. This was the student who nearly quit school. But I can only take as much credit for what they achieved. Most of it was them

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In response to: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

thank you my virtual mum @Appleblossom you always know how to put a smile on my face, hugs my friend

In response to: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

cheers @StuF 🙂

In response to: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Yeah @Jacques it's been a while hey?

I remember you put me onto some good resources like the desiderata and the sunscreen speech - both routinely help me.

In response to: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

agreed on all points hey @Appleblossom

I am finding self love and compassion the hardest of all of them.

In response to: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

yeah @TAB I see what you mean aye

I don't their sarky input - agreed

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

If there is one theme that is consistently recurring in my life for the past number of years it is the theme of wanting, desiring and even craving experience.
If one were to look at my resume they would see quite a lot of experience – a jigsaw puzzle of things put together. But this is only one form of experience. It’s only one form of life.
I have mastered the thing that I once thought impossible – getting a job. There was once a time where I struggled to get that. But now I’ve landed where I am now. Do I care about this? Not so much anymore.
I was reading the diary I kept when I was away 4 years ago. Today 4 years ago I woke and planned on going to a place for brunch but then diverted course and went to the deli opposite. Then I remember walking around and then also trying to visit ONEWorld Tower. I didn’t go as the weather and fog prevented it. I distinctly remember chatting to the guy who was on the bus tour and said to him that I had paid for the ticket and that it would probably not be worth visiting the place. It was a cold and rainy night. I remember quipping that I’d wasted more money on worse to which he agreed that he had too – the ticket for OneWorld was not cheap. When I got to the OneWorld centre they told me it would be better to visit the following night. I rushed over to the last Big Bus and caught that back and remember sitting on the roof in the freezing cold. I took a lot of photos and I want to look at them again. I want to take myself back to that experience. The guy who worked on the bus told me what little he knew of Australia and asked about the difference between Sydney and Melbourne – indicating that he thought it has something to do with sport.
In amongst the towering buildings and cold sleet of the North American winter, I found myself at ease with so much in the world. It was the freest I had felt up until that point.
Also at that point, I had made plans to visit Phili and then move on to DC and then Warsaw to go to the EAD. The rest is history.
Nowadays I find myself caught. There was a pandemic between then and now. There was so many unlived experienced and unfounded potential in that space of time that was spent in isolation, grinding away at some crap job, trying to figure it out after a plan had disappeared.
I did well for myself. I remember what it was like being in the throws of covid times. Most of us will and do all over this world.
I can always revisit those past experiences.
But I now need to make and take more.
Lose conditions.
So.
For the rest of this year I will stay. I will wait and see where this goes. That’s all I can do.
But before anything else I tell my <name> about what I plan.
Not in the hope she gives the stamp of approval. But Because I want her to know. Whenever we have embraced, it has been what I needed. Whenever we’ve laughed in hysterics or cried in anger – it has been what we needed.
I must pour this out to her. That’s all I have control over.

@TAB @Jacques @Shaz51 @Bill16 @StuF @Appleblossom @tyme

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Onwards and upwards @MDT 🙂

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Sounds good @MDT

Fair and reasonable.

You GO!

Self love like other forms of love (eg parental, agape, romantic, spousal etc etc ) evolves and shifts. Do not worry about perfect. Let it be like a coat in cupboard for when you need it.

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Appreciate the good times @MDT work is part of the picture

maybe you need new challenges

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Well , decide a course of action @MDT eg ignore it put back on them while defending yourself they have opened the door it's your choice

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