FORUMS

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,358,869Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Our stories

A new start (kind of)

A new start (kind of)

Hi @Shaz51 @Zoe7 @outlander @TAB @Sam3 @utopia @Faith-and-Hope @Appleblossom @oceangirl @Sans911 @Snowie @Former-Member @soul @BryanaCamp @Former-Member @Bunniekins and whoever else is there in forumland

I have tagged some of you because we are speaking lots and some others haven't been around for long. If it's too much for you then that's okay I respect that. I won't take it personally.

I have decied to start up a new thread after my psychiatrist appointment today. Off to a new start.

Simply put, he made the point that I am pressuring myself to do stuff far more quickly than what I thought I could. When this approach fails, it feeds back into the loop that was there before (the "i am not good enough", "I have limited time", "I have wasted my life" etc).

He said it was good I didn't go to hospital and avoided ending up there. This doesn't help. What does help is changing the approach etc.

It was a good appointment. I see him again in the morning and then maybe someone else next week.

So it's not entirely hopeless or lost now.

He thought that pressuring myself to go and get this visa would be the wrong decision, given my state of panic yesterday and also this morning.

He said that I need to hold off on pressuring myself. By saying "okay now that I am in Australia for a bit longer, I need to go and find a job quickly" because this is simply unhelpful. It's the wrong attitude and will only feed back into those loops.

So am I feeling more settled? Yes. Do I know what is next? No. Does this bother me? No.

I see my psychologist tomorrow afternoon. I will get something from my psychiatrist in the morning about all of this I think, which he said he can send off as part of the extension on the visa (which lasts for 2 years anyway). It's just a case of extending the timeframe for when I can receive it.

This would effect my chances of working in defence, mi6 etc but these are already off the table for me given my history anyway. The same is the case for the military and police. It does seem like some things are cancelled out because of my MH, but maybe they are things I was never keen on anyways.

That's a side issue for now.

Going to the UK - still a goal. It's a case of how I get there and WHAT I do when I get there. We have established that rocking up with no job or place to live is too chaotic. Especially based on my experience and degree background and skills. But the UK is a goal. My Psychiatrist said "Poland is always there" so I think it might be worthwhile sending them an email asking if I could be either placed on next year's list OR alternatively get some of my money back given the circumstances. Again, not my concern for now.

My concern at the moment is explaining all this to dad. My Psych spoke to my mum today too so she is in the loop. I think he will understand, he wants what is best for me. It takes some adjustment and time. But this is life and how we live it.

THanks forumites. See you a bit later today

Edit: I heard today that one of my old tutees that i helped in 2017 is working and is at uni. Doing well and studying. I joked that we should meet up for coffee and then i can get a job at the same place lol. So today has had a silver lining. This was the student who nearly quit school. But I can only take as much credit for what they achieved. Most of it was them

7645 replies

7,601 - 7,610 of 7,645

In response to: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Bed here too @MDT

Avagoodone 🙂

In response to: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

always try and get private landlord and remember its a Game @MDT lol

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Evening all
Had an okay-ish day at work
Have flogged the horse as much as I can for the roster situation. That's been the hardest part. It's meant to be shared more.

Couple of colleagues seem to be suffering from boredom and childishness.
Got sassy comments from a colleague about my work efforts.

Really starting to learn to have more self respect and compassion for myself. Particularly in this context of work. This job has been testing me a lot and I think its fair to say that I've actually learned more about myself through it all. Some of those lessons can't be articulated. I think its just experience and it translates across to a raw feeling.

My anxious mind has bordered on the paranoia. Where I have gone so far as to establish intent and action behind small tiny things I see. I'm just applying my analytical mind to it too much really.

To rise above the mediocre crap that I see as nothing other than a hindrance is actually really easy. I know what I need to do in this role and I just gotta do it.
I need to put away the idea that "probation period is everything". It's not.
Even I left or got kicked out - I accept it. But it doesn't colour my abilities or attitude.

Also I can't keep reflecting on experiences. Treat them as the water under the bridge that they are.

One thing this new role has taught me us how empathic I am. And hey perhaps that is a sign I need to switch to something else. But that's a lesson learned in time. And I have time.

I'm on the way to chat with sister. She needs my help and I need hers. We are siblings and we help each other. Both of us have come close to death in our own ways. Life is too fragile to be wasted on things I can control. I must be authentic.

See how the floodgates open and in comes gushing so many good things. Gratefulness is a powerful antidote for temporary suffering triggered by minimal experiences in highly specific areas.

@TAB @Former-Member
@Appleblossom @Shaz51 @StuF and others

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

@Bill16 @Jacques

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Thank you for your inspirational post @MDT - I can see you immense growth as a human. Despite the challenges, you have really pushed through. And yes, your empathy shows.

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Thank you @tyme
The trick now is to maintain healthy thinking and not to dwell

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

I love to read this @MDT 🙂

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

hi @MDT that is truly amazing how far you have come over the time i have known you, i remember things really used to get to you and you let things take it's toll on you. you are right live and time is finite and we need to use it wisely, you have grown so much. i am so glad you have your sister to lean on, for me i am an only child so i will always be alone and have to rely on myself for support. cherrish your sister and remember how lucky you are to have her. wishing you all the best with work. i hope it works out for you.

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

@MDT

All of it has a part to play: the reflective part, the empathy and analytical parts, the 'do not dwell' part. It has been good knowing you over these years. Colleagues are often non collegial, sometimes its competitiveness, or venting or just a bad day. Deal with the direct comments internally or without as you come to decide. We all want to be loved but there is a pretty short supply out there in the hustle and bustle. Make the most of it in the places you find it.

Hey @Jacques Love to you too. You are empathic like Hams, and so many other qualities as well.

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Ok , pull up a stump so to speak @MDT

parable time

some of best friends at work that ended up as actual friends regardless of work started off as antagonists ..

let it go.
you know if you're right or wrong

dont need their sarky input

just let it go

do your job

7,601 - 7,610 of 7,645