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A new start (kind of)

A new start (kind of)

Hi @Shaz51 @Zoe7 @outlander @TAB @Sam3 @utopia @Faith-and-Hope @Appleblossom @oceangirl @Sans911 @Snowie @Former-Member @soul @BryanaCamp @Former-Member @Bunniekins and whoever else is there in forumland

I have tagged some of you because we are speaking lots and some others haven't been around for long. If it's too much for you then that's okay I respect that. I won't take it personally.

I have decied to start up a new thread after my psychiatrist appointment today. Off to a new start.

Simply put, he made the point that I am pressuring myself to do stuff far more quickly than what I thought I could. When this approach fails, it feeds back into the loop that was there before (the "i am not good enough", "I have limited time", "I have wasted my life" etc).

He said it was good I didn't go to hospital and avoided ending up there. This doesn't help. What does help is changing the approach etc.

It was a good appointment. I see him again in the morning and then maybe someone else next week.

So it's not entirely hopeless or lost now.

He thought that pressuring myself to go and get this visa would be the wrong decision, given my state of panic yesterday and also this morning.

He said that I need to hold off on pressuring myself. By saying "okay now that I am in Australia for a bit longer, I need to go and find a job quickly" because this is simply unhelpful. It's the wrong attitude and will only feed back into those loops.

So am I feeling more settled? Yes. Do I know what is next? No. Does this bother me? No.

I see my psychologist tomorrow afternoon. I will get something from my psychiatrist in the morning about all of this I think, which he said he can send off as part of the extension on the visa (which lasts for 2 years anyway). It's just a case of extending the timeframe for when I can receive it.

This would effect my chances of working in defence, mi6 etc but these are already off the table for me given my history anyway. The same is the case for the military and police. It does seem like some things are cancelled out because of my MH, but maybe they are things I was never keen on anyways.

That's a side issue for now.

Going to the UK - still a goal. It's a case of how I get there and WHAT I do when I get there. We have established that rocking up with no job or place to live is too chaotic. Especially based on my experience and degree background and skills. But the UK is a goal. My Psychiatrist said "Poland is always there" so I think it might be worthwhile sending them an email asking if I could be either placed on next year's list OR alternatively get some of my money back given the circumstances. Again, not my concern for now.

My concern at the moment is explaining all this to dad. My Psych spoke to my mum today too so she is in the loop. I think he will understand, he wants what is best for me. It takes some adjustment and time. But this is life and how we live it.

THanks forumites. See you a bit later today

Edit: I heard today that one of my old tutees that i helped in 2017 is working and is at uni. Doing well and studying. I joked that we should meet up for coffee and then i can get a job at the same place lol. So today has had a silver lining. This was the student who nearly quit school. But I can only take as much credit for what they achieved. Most of it was them

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In response to: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

ah ok, my thoughts are along the same lines as Tab and Greenpea and just hang around for a while longer. your still quite new in your role so might be worth hanging around and see what they are doing/how long they stay sort of thing? @MDT

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Hi @MDT

It's also natural to feel nervous, trying to "read the room" and work out what everyone might be thinking ..... that will start to wear off and you will get into stride.

The suggestions given here will all help with that - not being the first to leave, paying attention to what others are doing at 5pm (maybe that's when they start packing up / tidying up cos 5pm is "clock off" time rather than "out the door" time ?

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Hmm yeah @outlander

Maybe create work for myself. Feel like i am back working in the government

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Hmm yeah
@Faith-and-Hope

Trying to figure out all if that does cause anxiety. Thats for sure.


In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Ok new policy.

Dont be the first to leave. Just like being back in government

@outlander @oceangirl @Shaz51 @Zoe7 @TAB @Bunniekins @BlueBay @Meowmy @Everan @Teej @Appleblossom @eudemonism @frog @eth @Gazza75 @Everan @Former-Member @Angels333 @Doglover @Sophia1 @saturnzoon @Faith-and-Hope @CheerBear @Former-Member @Molliex @Smc
@Ant7 @Adge @Former-Member @Owlunar @Queenie

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

@MDT think in general, arriving early and leaving later always impress as a keen worker and likely to get promotions.Some workers a bit late and leave on dot or early often get demoted. That's what I have seen.

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

it might grate @MDT but try to let it go, you will benefit in long run

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Parents said dont worry. I am paranoid

Truth is between what they said and what forumites have said.

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

you decide @MDT what have you got to lose by staying ? or what do you gain by leaving early? maybe someone will notice you staying and say its okay to go?

What do other interns do ? plus dont stress think best to do what other interns do

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

I tend to agree here with your parents @MDT Let your work performance during the day speak for itself as in my experience beginning earlier and leaving later than you are expected to does not win anyone over ...maybe you are more efficient in what you do and the others are catching up ...there could be so many reasons that they are staying later but you have to look out for yourself. If you are worried about what your colleagues are doing after 5pm then hang around for a couple of days later to find out then do your own thing according to what you find out and what you need for yourself. Work is not everything and you can make an impression by doing what you are supposed to be doing and doing that well in the time you are there. Having that balance is just as important as succeeding in your work - both can be done at the same time. So the decision is up to you but do not be influenced by others rather guided by what you find out for yourself.

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