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A new start (kind of)

A new start (kind of)

Hi @Shaz51 @Zoe7 @outlander @TAB @Sam3 @utopia @Faith-and-Hope @Appleblossom @oceangirl @Sans911 @Snowie @Former-Member @soul @BryanaCamp @Former-Member @Bunniekins and whoever else is there in forumland

I have tagged some of you because we are speaking lots and some others haven't been around for long. If it's too much for you then that's okay I respect that. I won't take it personally.

I have decied to start up a new thread after my psychiatrist appointment today. Off to a new start.

Simply put, he made the point that I am pressuring myself to do stuff far more quickly than what I thought I could. When this approach fails, it feeds back into the loop that was there before (the "i am not good enough", "I have limited time", "I have wasted my life" etc).

He said it was good I didn't go to hospital and avoided ending up there. This doesn't help. What does help is changing the approach etc.

It was a good appointment. I see him again in the morning and then maybe someone else next week.

So it's not entirely hopeless or lost now.

He thought that pressuring myself to go and get this visa would be the wrong decision, given my state of panic yesterday and also this morning.

He said that I need to hold off on pressuring myself. By saying "okay now that I am in Australia for a bit longer, I need to go and find a job quickly" because this is simply unhelpful. It's the wrong attitude and will only feed back into those loops.

So am I feeling more settled? Yes. Do I know what is next? No. Does this bother me? No.

I see my psychologist tomorrow afternoon. I will get something from my psychiatrist in the morning about all of this I think, which he said he can send off as part of the extension on the visa (which lasts for 2 years anyway). It's just a case of extending the timeframe for when I can receive it.

This would effect my chances of working in defence, mi6 etc but these are already off the table for me given my history anyway. The same is the case for the military and police. It does seem like some things are cancelled out because of my MH, but maybe they are things I was never keen on anyways.

That's a side issue for now.

Going to the UK - still a goal. It's a case of how I get there and WHAT I do when I get there. We have established that rocking up with no job or place to live is too chaotic. Especially based on my experience and degree background and skills. But the UK is a goal. My Psychiatrist said "Poland is always there" so I think it might be worthwhile sending them an email asking if I could be either placed on next year's list OR alternatively get some of my money back given the circumstances. Again, not my concern for now.

My concern at the moment is explaining all this to dad. My Psych spoke to my mum today too so she is in the loop. I think he will understand, he wants what is best for me. It takes some adjustment and time. But this is life and how we live it.

THanks forumites. See you a bit later today

Edit: I heard today that one of my old tutees that i helped in 2017 is working and is at uni. Doing well and studying. I joked that we should meet up for coffee and then i can get a job at the same place lol. So today has had a silver lining. This was the student who nearly quit school. But I can only take as much credit for what they achieved. Most of it was them

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In response to: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

yes @MDT

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

done @TAB

emailed the psych

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

I guess the other way of looking at it is as self esteem problem not directly a job problem ? just saying @MDT

In response to: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Seeing your psych seems like a good option @MDT You can talk through all those things on your mind openly and honestly. At the end of the day you will only get out what you put in with your psych so being honest with yourself and making sure you cover what you need with them is important. Make a list of what you want to cover - I know you have done that before.

As for work - yes it is experience and money and although it is not your ideal job it is still a job. Whether it is boring or not it is a foot in the door and that is something you needed. So it is serving it's purpose for now until you can find something better and more what you want to do. As with everything we have to start somewhere and you have achieved that. Your internship is coming up as well - so more experience coming for you CV.

We all have are ups and downs - and that is the same for everyone whether you have a MI or not - life is never perfect and often recognising those 'down' days for what they are and finding ways to get through them the best we can is all we can do. If we aim for perfection and happiness every dy then we will inevtiably be very let down ...accept that today is not great day and try to do some things for yourself to make it just that little it better.

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

@MDT

I was a little like @TAB that I also put down my desk job while I was in it and left it for travel overseas, then left another desl job for a baby, but in the long run, I am glad I did them as they gave me a range of perspectives over how the world really works.

Experience is worth its weight in gold.

A job has lots of pluses on the side ... company of people ... social experience.

My family life has been tragic and heartbreaking, but not because of work. I always fitted work around family and though have never worked in standard fulltime job since kids, often worked much harder ... 24/7 and doing one's best /// is what its about. In our company we also decided money was not that the be all, and refused doing an IT job for police in an authoritarian gulf country cos we did not need the money that bad. Some people are not as lucky and have to take on bad or dangerous jobs.

There are all the practical considerations that you already are aware of. You are on the right track and feelings and moods will come and go.

The father stuff is ... deep, primal, and your journey and that is alright. I have seen it with many men and their fathers ... there will be gradual and some sudden rights of passage. The way things were done a century ago ... is not the same as it is now. It is your call, but have some dignity in the challenges of your generation.

The British/swiss ? fella who ran "School of Life" ... famous dude ...cant remember his name now ... had big daddy issues cos of his billionaire hi finance father ... find a way to manage it so you walk your journey with respect. It is also the same in the zoo ... male male relations are tricky .... and are carefully managed ... whether it is keeping a wild dog pack as all male ... or as a breeding pack .... and when the lion pride gets separated. Just thoughts to chew on and I hope help.

Cheers mate

You know we love having you here.

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

A step at a time my @MDT , we are here with you and for you xxxx

In response to: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

@MDT Hey Hamsolo01 I think everyone here has covered what I would say. We do love you here Hamsolo01. I would only add remember you are young and try and enjoy your youth. As the saying goes 'you are only young once'xx

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Some great help here @Zoe7 @Bunniekins @Appleblossom @TAB @Shaz51 @outlander @Meowmy

I played on pc for a bit and had some music in the background

Emailed the psych. Can even make a list on there if i need. To make sure he is informed as well.

Work is work. Like I was saying last week. don't have to hate it and I don't have to love it. Can just rock up and do my bit.

It pays to keep anonymous on these forums so I can't say too much about what I actually do and where it is. But simply put, I work in state government in NSW. I get moved around to different places according to staffing needs. Next week I will be elsewhere I believe - hopefully that has not changed. I'd like to see some of that again. The people there are good. So is the food lol.

Overall things are okay. I feel a bit better. I think I just had a rough morning maybe?

Not ideal, but not bad either. Middle of the road

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

@MDT

Sometimes Middle of the Road is good

Except in musical tastes ... lol

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