FORUMS

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,358,869Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Our stories

A new start (kind of)

A new start (kind of)

Hi @Shaz51 @Zoe7 @outlander @TAB @Sam3 @utopia @Faith-and-Hope @Appleblossom @oceangirl @Sans911 @Snowie @Former-Member @soul @BryanaCamp @Former-Member @Bunniekins and whoever else is there in forumland

I have tagged some of you because we are speaking lots and some others haven't been around for long. If it's too much for you then that's okay I respect that. I won't take it personally.

I have decied to start up a new thread after my psychiatrist appointment today. Off to a new start.

Simply put, he made the point that I am pressuring myself to do stuff far more quickly than what I thought I could. When this approach fails, it feeds back into the loop that was there before (the "i am not good enough", "I have limited time", "I have wasted my life" etc).

He said it was good I didn't go to hospital and avoided ending up there. This doesn't help. What does help is changing the approach etc.

It was a good appointment. I see him again in the morning and then maybe someone else next week.

So it's not entirely hopeless or lost now.

He thought that pressuring myself to go and get this visa would be the wrong decision, given my state of panic yesterday and also this morning.

He said that I need to hold off on pressuring myself. By saying "okay now that I am in Australia for a bit longer, I need to go and find a job quickly" because this is simply unhelpful. It's the wrong attitude and will only feed back into those loops.

So am I feeling more settled? Yes. Do I know what is next? No. Does this bother me? No.

I see my psychologist tomorrow afternoon. I will get something from my psychiatrist in the morning about all of this I think, which he said he can send off as part of the extension on the visa (which lasts for 2 years anyway). It's just a case of extending the timeframe for when I can receive it.

This would effect my chances of working in defence, mi6 etc but these are already off the table for me given my history anyway. The same is the case for the military and police. It does seem like some things are cancelled out because of my MH, but maybe they are things I was never keen on anyways.

That's a side issue for now.

Going to the UK - still a goal. It's a case of how I get there and WHAT I do when I get there. We have established that rocking up with no job or place to live is too chaotic. Especially based on my experience and degree background and skills. But the UK is a goal. My Psychiatrist said "Poland is always there" so I think it might be worthwhile sending them an email asking if I could be either placed on next year's list OR alternatively get some of my money back given the circumstances. Again, not my concern for now.

My concern at the moment is explaining all this to dad. My Psych spoke to my mum today too so she is in the loop. I think he will understand, he wants what is best for me. It takes some adjustment and time. But this is life and how we live it.

THanks forumites. See you a bit later today

Edit: I heard today that one of my old tutees that i helped in 2017 is working and is at uni. Doing well and studying. I joked that we should meet up for coffee and then i can get a job at the same place lol. So today has had a silver lining. This was the student who nearly quit school. But I can only take as much credit for what they achieved. Most of it was them

7645 replies

5,261 - 5,270 of 7,645

In response to: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Poss not the Stranger atm @MDT bit out of sorts physically today sure your work is going fine . Stuff happens. If it did at all

In response to: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

@MDT Hey Hamso, hope you get to relax, forget about work until next week. Life is hard. You will feel better about everything again. Enjoy your break.

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

@outlander @oceangirl @Shaz51 @Zoe7 @TAB @Bunniekins @BlueBay @Meowmy @Everan @Teej @Appleblossom @eudemonism @frog @eth @Gazza75 @Everan @Former-Member @Angels333 @Doglover @Sophia1 @saturnzoon @Faith-and-Hope @CheerBear @Former-Member @Molliex @Smc
@Ant7 @Adge @Former-Member @Owlunar @Queenie @utopia

Today I realised the significant strides I made in this year.

Where I was in January to where I am now.

Quite a leap. Maybe this is why I am unstable or at least feel odd with work just generally.

I also needed to put up some distance between me and the girl I went on a date with a few weeks back.

I am not in a good headspace and I believe it is due to this huge shift. Almost like a hangover or something.

Honestly it hurts a bit that I needed to put up that space. But I am so unsure and uncommitted that I can't lead her on. I've been lead on before and I hate it. But I fear that I might have lead her on already. But I needed to put my foot out and say no further before I hurt myself or her in the process.

I believe I may not be cut out for this relationship stuff in the 21st century.

It seems like people are going to trample over us or we end up trampling over them without intending to.

Maybe it's just cowardice even.... Idk.

I just can't go further.

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

@MDT hey Hamso, you are right about your massive progress. Take it easy. Hope you get to relax and reset over the break.

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

One STP at a time my awesome friend @MDT xx

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

@outlander @oceangirl @Shaz51 @Zoe7 @TAB @Bunniekins @BlueBay @Meowmy @Everan @Teej @Appleblossom @eudemonism @frog @eth @Gazza75 @Everan @Former-Member @Angels333 @Doglover @Sophia1 @saturnzoon @Faith-and-Hope @CheerBear @Former-Member @Molliex @Smc
@Ant7 @Adge @Former-Member @Owlunar @Queenie @utopia

I am actually very stressed because of work. They can terminate me tomorrow if they wanted. The contract allows for it and its happened to people before.

It's very stress inducing.

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Its life these days unfortunately @MDT do you need to be working there? Probably. Otherwise work on an exit strategy maybe.

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

I think exit strategy is best @TAB
But I have an Internship next year at end of Jan which is full time for a month unpaid.

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Discuss it with parents maybe @MDT
And having a strategy doesn’t mean you have to act before employer does.
Join union asap as well

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

@MDT Hey Hamso, I think you are too hard on yourself. It is first job for the sector you wanted. As you get senior which you will with time, the contract will more to your advantage. I think going into workforce, we begin to realize life is full of dangers and not risk proof. It is stressful. You are doing well. You are good guy and has lots of friends and support. Life will be kind. Take care.

5,261 - 5,270 of 7,645