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A new start (kind of)

MDTSenior Contributor07 Feb 2019, 12:25 pm AEDT

A new start (kind of)

Hi @Shaz51 @Zoe7 @outlander @TAB @Sam3 @utopia @Faith-and-Hope @Appleblossom @oceangirl @Sans911 @Snowie @Former-Member @soul @BryanaCamp @Former-Member @Bunniekins and whoever else is there in forumland

I have tagged some of you because we are speaking lots and some others haven't been around for long. If it's too much for you then that's okay I respect that. I won't take it personally.

I have decied to start up a new thread after my psychiatrist appointment today. Off to a new start.

Simply put, he made the point that I am pressuring myself to do stuff far more quickly than what I thought I could. When this approach fails, it feeds back into the loop that was there before (the "i am not good enough", "I have limited time", "I have wasted my life" etc).

He said it was good I didn't go to hospital and avoided ending up there. This doesn't help. What does help is changing the approach etc.

It was a good appointment. I see him again in the morning and then maybe someone else next week.

So it's not entirely hopeless or lost now.

He thought that pressuring myself to go and get this visa would be the wrong decision, given my state of panic yesterday and also this morning.

He said that I need to hold off on pressuring myself. By saying "okay now that I am in Australia for a bit longer, I need to go and find a job quickly" because this is simply unhelpful. It's the wrong attitude and will only feed back into those loops.

So am I feeling more settled? Yes. Do I know what is next? No. Does this bother me? No.

I see my psychologist tomorrow afternoon. I will get something from my psychiatrist in the morning about all of this I think, which he said he can send off as part of the extension on the visa (which lasts for 2 years anyway). It's just a case of extending the timeframe for when I can receive it.

This would effect my chances of working in defence, mi6 etc but these are already off the table for me given my history anyway. The same is the case for the military and police. It does seem like some things are cancelled out because of my MH, but maybe they are things I was never keen on anyways.

That's a side issue for now.

Going to the UK - still a goal. It's a case of how I get there and WHAT I do when I get there. We have established that rocking up with no job or place to live is too chaotic. Especially based on my experience and degree background and skills. But the UK is a goal. My Psychiatrist said "Poland is always there" so I think it might be worthwhile sending them an email asking if I could be either placed on next year's list OR alternatively get some of my money back given the circumstances. Again, not my concern for now.

My concern at the moment is explaining all this to dad. My Psych spoke to my mum today too so she is in the loop. I think he will understand, he wants what is best for me. It takes some adjustment and time. But this is life and how we live it.

THanks forumites. See you a bit later today

Edit: I heard today that one of my old tutees that i helped in 2017 is working and is at uni. Doing well and studying. I joked that we should meet up for coffee and then i can get a job at the same place lol. So today has had a silver lining. This was the student who nearly quit school. But I can only take as much credit for what they achieved. Most of it was them

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In response to: A new start (kind of)

Shaz51Senior Contributor16 Oct 2019, 5:39 pm AEDT

Re: A new start (kind of)

may not be full time my @MDT , but it is work my awesome friend xxx

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

MDTSenior Contributor16 Oct 2019, 5:43 pm AEDT

Re: A new start (kind of)

Yeah exactly @Shaz51
Better than nothing.
Better than what I was doing.
Experience. And time.
The rest of it... It is what it is

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Shaz51Senior Contributor16 Oct 2019, 5:44 pm AEDT

Re: A new start (kind of)

it is a styart my @MDT , keep going my friend xxx

In response to: A new start (kind of)

eudemonismSenior Contributor16 Oct 2019, 5:46 pm AEDT

Re: A new start (kind of)

Hi @MDT

Your updates are always interesting and keep me in the loop . Thanks for this. As it's keeping me connected .

I went to buy a gaming console two days ago. And they said the console needed a internet connection for updates . And i said in return. I was wanting a console which i could keep isolated from the internet . So i could just play games on my own. You know . Console. Disc. Controller. Maybe two controllers for multiplayer? But the store attendant was sure that the console needed to be connected to the internet to recieve regular download updates. So i said I'd go home and do some research about this. And i came up with a different story. So I'll take it back to shop and speak with a different person . And compare the threee aspects before making a purchase ... i get that alot of technology these days is parred with internet connections so multiplayer and communicating can take play. But I'm not in a financial position to have a unlimited earthnet connection. Don't want the monthly bill and common sense says it comes with problems and issues that will stress me. So my smart phone and prepaid vouchers every 28 days. Is my only internet active and communicating device. And even this . I don't really feel it's serves a huge or significant purpose verse the expense of it. So that's where I'm at. All the best Ham.

In response to: A new start (kind of)

eudemonismSenior Contributor16 Oct 2019, 5:50 pm AEDT

Re: A new start (kind of)

@Sophia1 i haven't even watched the series from start to finish.

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

MDTSenior Contributor16 Oct 2019, 5:55 pm AEDT

Re: A new start (kind of)

All good Eude @eudemonism

Happy to keep you updated. You are a good addition to the community here.

I'm my experience it's possible to actually buy a console and not have it connected to the internet. Whenever the internet bill hasn't been paid in my house I can't play online games. But I can still play single player ones. Some do require an initial connection to the internet but then it's just to update or similar once a month. If you don't want to update I think it may stop you playing the game. But of course it depends on the game and depends on the console.
I think pc is the best option as you can play old games and new ones on a pc. Consoles can be costly due to internet costs and membership of things like xbox live. I enjoy it atm. But I don't think I will continue to play it much into the future. Pc is better for me and my interests in games.

In response to: A new start (kind of)

eudemonismSenior Contributor16 Oct 2019, 6:05 pm AEDT

Re: A new start (kind of)

@MDT

I've dealt with that type of thing in every job I've ever had. It's possibly the reasons behind why i walked every time . And why I'm now unemployed. But yea. Some days it's best to only put in 85% effort . And ignore the dramas of the workplace if you can .

In response to: A new start (kind of)

TABSenior Contributor16 Oct 2019, 6:05 pm AEDT

Re: A new start (kind of)

I meant for them , can be a mental/cultural things as well re attitude to work/others at work you're learning, you're still there, its a huge stepping stone for you and you are doing really well

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

eudemonismSenior Contributor16 Oct 2019, 6:13 pm AEDT

Re: A new start (kind of)

Yea @MDT i get like 18gb a month on my 28 day prepaid plan . Plus unlimited calls and texts . But i only use a tiny bit of data each month. And only make a few phone calls and texts. So it's hard to justify somedays. Plus I've been frightened off of plans and contracts that have fine print about additional charges and late fees from an experience i had years ago.

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

TABSenior Contributor16 Oct 2019, 6:15 pm AEDT

Re: A new start (kind of)

I pay $50 a month that covers phone and data @eudemonism so never have high speed but its cheap and can watch youtube etc

last time I got a printer, it wouldnt work unless was on internet thats just nuts

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