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A new start (kind of)

A new start (kind of)

Hi @Shaz51 @Zoe7 @outlander @TAB @Sam3 @utopia @Faith-and-Hope @Appleblossom @oceangirl @Sans911 @Snowie @Former-Member @soul @BryanaCamp @Former-Member @Bunniekins and whoever else is there in forumland

I have tagged some of you because we are speaking lots and some others haven't been around for long. If it's too much for you then that's okay I respect that. I won't take it personally.

I have decied to start up a new thread after my psychiatrist appointment today. Off to a new start.

Simply put, he made the point that I am pressuring myself to do stuff far more quickly than what I thought I could. When this approach fails, it feeds back into the loop that was there before (the "i am not good enough", "I have limited time", "I have wasted my life" etc).

He said it was good I didn't go to hospital and avoided ending up there. This doesn't help. What does help is changing the approach etc.

It was a good appointment. I see him again in the morning and then maybe someone else next week.

So it's not entirely hopeless or lost now.

He thought that pressuring myself to go and get this visa would be the wrong decision, given my state of panic yesterday and also this morning.

He said that I need to hold off on pressuring myself. By saying "okay now that I am in Australia for a bit longer, I need to go and find a job quickly" because this is simply unhelpful. It's the wrong attitude and will only feed back into those loops.

So am I feeling more settled? Yes. Do I know what is next? No. Does this bother me? No.

I see my psychologist tomorrow afternoon. I will get something from my psychiatrist in the morning about all of this I think, which he said he can send off as part of the extension on the visa (which lasts for 2 years anyway). It's just a case of extending the timeframe for when I can receive it.

This would effect my chances of working in defence, mi6 etc but these are already off the table for me given my history anyway. The same is the case for the military and police. It does seem like some things are cancelled out because of my MH, but maybe they are things I was never keen on anyways.

That's a side issue for now.

Going to the UK - still a goal. It's a case of how I get there and WHAT I do when I get there. We have established that rocking up with no job or place to live is too chaotic. Especially based on my experience and degree background and skills. But the UK is a goal. My Psychiatrist said "Poland is always there" so I think it might be worthwhile sending them an email asking if I could be either placed on next year's list OR alternatively get some of my money back given the circumstances. Again, not my concern for now.

My concern at the moment is explaining all this to dad. My Psych spoke to my mum today too so she is in the loop. I think he will understand, he wants what is best for me. It takes some adjustment and time. But this is life and how we live it.

THanks forumites. See you a bit later today

Edit: I heard today that one of my old tutees that i helped in 2017 is working and is at uni. Doing well and studying. I joked that we should meet up for coffee and then i can get a job at the same place lol. So today has had a silver lining. This was the student who nearly quit school. But I can only take as much credit for what they achieved. Most of it was them

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In response to: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Thanks @Meowmy @outlander @TAB @Appleblossom @eth

Thats very kind 🙂

In response to: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Hey @MDT you've nothing to feel guilty about. Friends come and go, hopefully you can reconnect and enjoy hanging out. You're going so well; go back and read your posts from only 2 weeks ago about how shaky you felt about work. You're smashing it!

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

You have some positive change going on atm @MDT but all change is unsettling. Just pause and look at how well you're doing - working is a huge deal!

Isolation is hard, but don't let your thoughts and fears stop you from engaging with people. It can become a vicious circle.

One thing that helps me is compassion/self-compassion re the idea that almost everyone shares those feelings of isolation at some time. Take care.

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

It's a good point @frog
I agree. Break down a bit of that barrier maybe.
Hey @Molliex good to see you here my friend. Thanks for your positive encouragement

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

@outlander @oceangirl @Shaz51 @Zoe7 @TAB @Bunniekins @BlueBay @Meowmy @Everan @Teej @Appleblossom @eudemonism @frog @eth @Gazza75 @Everan @Former-Member @Angels333 @Doglover @Sophia1 @saturnzoon @Faith-and-Hope @CheerBear @Former-Member @Molliex @Smc
@Ant7 @Adge @Former-Member @Owlunar

I've had a quiet evening just thinking about stuff. Final work day for my week tomorrow and have some stuff set aside for me to do. So I know what I'll be doing.
Made my lunch already.

I am a bit sad tonight. Just generally. But I have also been cancelled on for the charity I work with twice now. Bit annoyed by that. But nothing ca be done. It's small anyway in the scheme of things.

Life is weird and I see a nice side to it. It is what it is.

Good night forumites.,

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Good night @MDT hope tomorrows ok for you 🙏

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

@MDT hey hope you find life fulfilling. There always will be dark side when the light disappearing. But hope will always there too.. You have friends. Because you are a friend to begin with. . Well done. Take care.

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Good Night @MDT

Great you can see the good side.

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

The Dude abides , hopefully @MDT anyway your week over so its time get the Dudeness happening white russians etc lol

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Hi @MDT

Not sure if there's much i can say that will help . I've just read through the last few posts and tried to catch up on everything ...

with myself regards old friends . I very much avoid people and stick to a few close connections . It's hard to fill in all the gaps of time gone bye if you know what i mean . Time has distanced me from alot of people i called friends. Worked with or went to school with. I've never been a social buttetfly and I've never had the best social skills . And always dreaded or avoided social gatherings or family get togethers . Bit of a loner i spose you could say .

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