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A new start (kind of)

A new start (kind of)

Hi @Shaz51 @Zoe7 @outlander @TAB @Sam3 @utopia @Faith-and-Hope @Appleblossom @oceangirl @Sans911 @Snowie @Former-Member @soul @BryanaCamp @Former-Member @Bunniekins and whoever else is there in forumland

I have tagged some of you because we are speaking lots and some others haven't been around for long. If it's too much for you then that's okay I respect that. I won't take it personally.

I have decied to start up a new thread after my psychiatrist appointment today. Off to a new start.

Simply put, he made the point that I am pressuring myself to do stuff far more quickly than what I thought I could. When this approach fails, it feeds back into the loop that was there before (the "i am not good enough", "I have limited time", "I have wasted my life" etc).

He said it was good I didn't go to hospital and avoided ending up there. This doesn't help. What does help is changing the approach etc.

It was a good appointment. I see him again in the morning and then maybe someone else next week.

So it's not entirely hopeless or lost now.

He thought that pressuring myself to go and get this visa would be the wrong decision, given my state of panic yesterday and also this morning.

He said that I need to hold off on pressuring myself. By saying "okay now that I am in Australia for a bit longer, I need to go and find a job quickly" because this is simply unhelpful. It's the wrong attitude and will only feed back into those loops.

So am I feeling more settled? Yes. Do I know what is next? No. Does this bother me? No.

I see my psychologist tomorrow afternoon. I will get something from my psychiatrist in the morning about all of this I think, which he said he can send off as part of the extension on the visa (which lasts for 2 years anyway). It's just a case of extending the timeframe for when I can receive it.

This would effect my chances of working in defence, mi6 etc but these are already off the table for me given my history anyway. The same is the case for the military and police. It does seem like some things are cancelled out because of my MH, but maybe they are things I was never keen on anyways.

That's a side issue for now.

Going to the UK - still a goal. It's a case of how I get there and WHAT I do when I get there. We have established that rocking up with no job or place to live is too chaotic. Especially based on my experience and degree background and skills. But the UK is a goal. My Psychiatrist said "Poland is always there" so I think it might be worthwhile sending them an email asking if I could be either placed on next year's list OR alternatively get some of my money back given the circumstances. Again, not my concern for now.

My concern at the moment is explaining all this to dad. My Psych spoke to my mum today too so she is in the loop. I think he will understand, he wants what is best for me. It takes some adjustment and time. But this is life and how we live it.

THanks forumites. See you a bit later today

Edit: I heard today that one of my old tutees that i helped in 2017 is working and is at uni. Doing well and studying. I joked that we should meet up for coffee and then i can get a job at the same place lol. So today has had a silver lining. This was the student who nearly quit school. But I can only take as much credit for what they achieved. Most of it was them

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In response to: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

@TAB LOL

Dad's was in a white ceramic bottle as I recall.

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

..my memory could be faulty @eth lol yeah internet has no blue bottle pics, hmm think it was blue tho

In response to: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Hey forumites.

@outlander @oceangirl @Shaz51 @Zoe7 @TAB @Bunniekins @BlueBay @Meowmy @Everan @Teej @Appleblossom @eudemonism @frog @eth @Gazza75 @Everan @Former-Member @Angels333 @Doglover @Sophia1 @saturnzoon @Faith-and-Hope @CheerBear @Former-Member @Molliex @Smc
@Ant7 @Adge @Former-Member @Owlunar

Just finished work. I am settling in and making new connections with co-workers. I am generally settled. I think it's because of my role and there is a level of consistency in it. I am learning how to do new things. And I am based in one area of the place. So I'm not being shifted about.

Thanks for your support as always.

I do however want to talk about two things on my mind tho is afternoon. Firstly I reconnected with an old friend of mine who thought I have been overseas since January. I don't believe he was too impressed that I hadn't contacted him. But then I told him it's been tough to contact people. I dunno how it will go next week. But I guess it's good to be upfront and honest. It's hard to see people when you have nothing going on in your life. Nothing new etc. But that has changed now so I hope it goes okay next week when I catch up with him.

The second thing is a bit weirder/harder. Basically I keep having visions or images in my mind about being isolated or alone. I'm not talking about intimate romantic relationships. I mean just generally in life. I'm doing lots more than I was and yet I feel more isolated. I don't really get it.
I think maybe I have changed in new ways and I'm not used to this new person.

Anyways I keep picturing being stuck or isolated on my own in bad scenarios. For example I keep thinking of not knowing what to do in a basic situation and how that may impact on my MH. Would I panic and fall apart or something. I don't see myself as a loser anymore even though I used to. I just see myself as an average punter but who is sad or similar. Scared maybe.

I am seeing many here deal with this in a real sense - compared to me who is struggling with perceptions of the mind. My reality is alright now. So I feel a bit guilty about how I feel. Seeing as many here go through worse.

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Well you had your reasons for not seeing this person @MDT
Teil 2 (lol) . .take it easy Hamso 🤷‍♂️😎

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

You know what? @MDT no one can do what you said so just take it easy and let yourself do what you are doing on Success Train 🚂 lol 😸😎🎩👍:pick:⛄️

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

@MDT Hey glad you had okay day at work. All people struggle with personal issues at some stage of life. Friends come and go for various reasons. Don’t worry too much. Just go along and enjoy your friend. Feelings of isolation are very distressing. Being in the workforce, a lot of people will feel lonely, disconnected coz the real world is harsh. Then sense of loneliness makes us grow mentally, emotionally and intellectually. You had walked part of your life alone, with MI journey, even your family couldn’t walk with you much. That is actually good experience for later, that give you experiences, understandings that others won’t have, Don’t worry too much. You are doing so well.

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Do what you do @MDT well til you get yr own priorities sorted. People are mostly selfish dont feel guilty

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Thinking of you @MDT im glad to hear work is going well for you.

Change is difficult and can be hard to adjust to whether its negative or postive. Perhaps your mind will learn that your not your mh in time.

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Hi @MDT please do your best to shake off any guilt ... what you feel is what you feel and you are as valid as anyone else, here or anywhere. What you're going thru' sounds tough. Maybe a bit like me - my anxiety is such that even when something good starts happening I come up with a whole new batch of what if scenarios. What I do is try to come up with a plan for if the what if does occur, and often knowing I have that plan reduces my dwelling on it. Wonder if this approach could be helpful for you too.

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

@MDT

Your estimation of things sounds very well grounded and realistic to me.

We all struggle with aloneness. Once a priest told me I was lucky as I had a husband and he was alone against the masses. I did not tell him I was even worse than alone stuck in a bad marriage, but that is what I thought at the time. I was playing the organ with my mother for a funeral att so no point sharing what was really going on for me ... just a job.

You are a legend in your own way in the manner in which you process your feelings and experiences. IMO

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