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A new start (kind of)

A new start (kind of)

Hi @Shaz51 @Zoe7 @outlander @TAB @Sam3 @utopia @Faith-and-Hope @Appleblossom @oceangirl @Sans911 @Snowie @Former-Member @soul @BryanaCamp @Former-Member @Bunniekins and whoever else is there in forumland

I have tagged some of you because we are speaking lots and some others haven't been around for long. If it's too much for you then that's okay I respect that. I won't take it personally.

I have decied to start up a new thread after my psychiatrist appointment today. Off to a new start.

Simply put, he made the point that I am pressuring myself to do stuff far more quickly than what I thought I could. When this approach fails, it feeds back into the loop that was there before (the "i am not good enough", "I have limited time", "I have wasted my life" etc).

He said it was good I didn't go to hospital and avoided ending up there. This doesn't help. What does help is changing the approach etc.

It was a good appointment. I see him again in the morning and then maybe someone else next week.

So it's not entirely hopeless or lost now.

He thought that pressuring myself to go and get this visa would be the wrong decision, given my state of panic yesterday and also this morning.

He said that I need to hold off on pressuring myself. By saying "okay now that I am in Australia for a bit longer, I need to go and find a job quickly" because this is simply unhelpful. It's the wrong attitude and will only feed back into those loops.

So am I feeling more settled? Yes. Do I know what is next? No. Does this bother me? No.

I see my psychologist tomorrow afternoon. I will get something from my psychiatrist in the morning about all of this I think, which he said he can send off as part of the extension on the visa (which lasts for 2 years anyway). It's just a case of extending the timeframe for when I can receive it.

This would effect my chances of working in defence, mi6 etc but these are already off the table for me given my history anyway. The same is the case for the military and police. It does seem like some things are cancelled out because of my MH, but maybe they are things I was never keen on anyways.

That's a side issue for now.

Going to the UK - still a goal. It's a case of how I get there and WHAT I do when I get there. We have established that rocking up with no job or place to live is too chaotic. Especially based on my experience and degree background and skills. But the UK is a goal. My Psychiatrist said "Poland is always there" so I think it might be worthwhile sending them an email asking if I could be either placed on next year's list OR alternatively get some of my money back given the circumstances. Again, not my concern for now.

My concern at the moment is explaining all this to dad. My Psych spoke to my mum today too so she is in the loop. I think he will understand, he wants what is best for me. It takes some adjustment and time. But this is life and how we live it.

THanks forumites. See you a bit later today

Edit: I heard today that one of my old tutees that i helped in 2017 is working and is at uni. Doing well and studying. I joked that we should meet up for coffee and then i can get a job at the same place lol. So today has had a silver lining. This was the student who nearly quit school. But I can only take as much credit for what they achieved. Most of it was them

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In response to: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Haha that's great that you're not sure what you recorded @MDT. I don't watch much really, but find myself hooked on a series every now and then. Orange is the new black and 13 reasons why (definitely not the smartest decision I've made with that one :face_with_rolling_eyes:) are two I've recently watched. Still have a few eps of Orange to go. Other than that it's random current interest and affairs stuff I find on YouTube.

Sorry about all the stress and work related stuff. It sounds like a time of big change for you and that's often tricky.

I'm going to head out for a bit and do the kid thing. I hope there are some nicer feelings for you in the evening ahead.

In response to: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

I believe so too @Zoe7

Time to revisit some old motivation tools and coping systems I think.

ravioli for dinner here. I will cook it up. I do enjoy cookery.

Need to trim/shave this evening too. Face looks like an old tennis ball haha.

Thanks for always helping me process this stuff @Zoe7 you are a good pal 🙂

In response to: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

how are cat and toby going anyways @Zoe7 ?

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

all good @CheerBear I hope that the rest of the evening is good for you too 🙂

yes i hear 13 reasons why is pretty challenging, but i see its purpose. Art can be like that at times I think.

MY new goal for the rest of the day is to stay hydrated lol. Sounds obvious, but I do find that it can help me focus and settle too.

In response to: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

@MDT Hey Hams, think you feel stress about work only because you care and are serious about it. That’s a very good thing to have. In the workforce, it is never absolute about anything. Always a bit of alert for the unexpected is wise. There is no pressure for you to move out anyhow. It’s a stable home. May be good for you coz move out associates with risks. Not really adsivable with MI. My MI always go to breakdowns when I live on my own. Take care.

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Cat and Toby are good @MDT Cat is back to her normal self - eating properly and asking for her food. Toby was a bit put out by Dog being here but is also back to his usual snuggly self. It has been a really nice day here so both have been outside quite a bit. Cat looks like a little garden statue when she sits out in the garden lol

Face looks like an old tennis ball made me giggle lol A great description

I am presently watching my Eels play the Broncos. We had a great first half 24-0 presently in the second half.

The great things about old tools we can use is that we often forget they are there when we are doing better but it is always good to have them on hand when times are a little tougher. I have been trying to use some of my coping strategies too this week - it doesn't always take away those feelings but it can dull them a little.

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

ohhhh @Meowmy lazy day here too my friend xxx

Hello @Zoe7 , @MDT , @CheerBear , @TAB

having leftover potato bake tonight xxxx

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

yeah @Meowmy
Just spoke to dad just now. Told him I'm not going to look for anything new til after Christmas. By then I will have settled in and probably keen for something new.

For now it's a case of settling in.


In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

I love potato bake @Shaz51 - is one of my favourite dishes - real comfort food too

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

indeed @Zoe7 they can help us along

I guess in a holistic view atm - I am "doing well". That's a lot to take in for me. Especially considering how hard I am on myself and have been in the past on top of all the other stuff that goes on.

My circumstances now are unrecognisable compared to what they were 2 years ago so that's good. If I jumped in a time machine and went back 2 years ago and told myself then where I am now.... I probably would've been surprised. So that's something to process I guess. And be happy/content with.

Baby steps have got me here.

I feel better just thinking about that. 🙂

Pets are great. Toby and Cat sound like they get along very well in fact. Our dog and cat used to get along well too lol.
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