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A new start (kind of)

A new start (kind of)

Hi @Shaz51 @Zoe7 @outlander @TAB @Sam3 @utopia @Faith-and-Hope @Appleblossom @oceangirl @Sans911 @Snowie @Former-Member @soul @BryanaCamp @Former-Member @Bunniekins and whoever else is there in forumland

I have tagged some of you because we are speaking lots and some others haven't been around for long. If it's too much for you then that's okay I respect that. I won't take it personally.

I have decied to start up a new thread after my psychiatrist appointment today. Off to a new start.

Simply put, he made the point that I am pressuring myself to do stuff far more quickly than what I thought I could. When this approach fails, it feeds back into the loop that was there before (the "i am not good enough", "I have limited time", "I have wasted my life" etc).

He said it was good I didn't go to hospital and avoided ending up there. This doesn't help. What does help is changing the approach etc.

It was a good appointment. I see him again in the morning and then maybe someone else next week.

So it's not entirely hopeless or lost now.

He thought that pressuring myself to go and get this visa would be the wrong decision, given my state of panic yesterday and also this morning.

He said that I need to hold off on pressuring myself. By saying "okay now that I am in Australia for a bit longer, I need to go and find a job quickly" because this is simply unhelpful. It's the wrong attitude and will only feed back into those loops.

So am I feeling more settled? Yes. Do I know what is next? No. Does this bother me? No.

I see my psychologist tomorrow afternoon. I will get something from my psychiatrist in the morning about all of this I think, which he said he can send off as part of the extension on the visa (which lasts for 2 years anyway). It's just a case of extending the timeframe for when I can receive it.

This would effect my chances of working in defence, mi6 etc but these are already off the table for me given my history anyway. The same is the case for the military and police. It does seem like some things are cancelled out because of my MH, but maybe they are things I was never keen on anyways.

That's a side issue for now.

Going to the UK - still a goal. It's a case of how I get there and WHAT I do when I get there. We have established that rocking up with no job or place to live is too chaotic. Especially based on my experience and degree background and skills. But the UK is a goal. My Psychiatrist said "Poland is always there" so I think it might be worthwhile sending them an email asking if I could be either placed on next year's list OR alternatively get some of my money back given the circumstances. Again, not my concern for now.

My concern at the moment is explaining all this to dad. My Psych spoke to my mum today too so she is in the loop. I think he will understand, he wants what is best for me. It takes some adjustment and time. But this is life and how we live it.

THanks forumites. See you a bit later today

Edit: I heard today that one of my old tutees that i helped in 2017 is working and is at uni. Doing well and studying. I joked that we should meet up for coffee and then i can get a job at the same place lol. So today has had a silver lining. This was the student who nearly quit school. But I can only take as much credit for what they achieved. Most of it was them

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In response to: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

good point @Zoe7

Will have to sit with it I guess. Could be worse.

thanks @CheerBear
hope you have had a good weekend mate 🙂

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Have you watched your doco @MDT? That might help you ride it out 🙂

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

It could be worse @MDT you are right there but it doesn't really help right now with those feelings you are sitting with.

In response to: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

..have a White Russian, dude @MDT

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

keeping busy can help @MDT

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

yeah I'm just trying to process them @Zoe7

I think they are stress related and work related.

Specifically, work related ones are telling me I don't know what I am doing yet and can't start. Although I did the job relatively unassisted on Wednesday last week. It seems it will be fine tbh. I think it's my tired self taking over my thought process. Making me think something bad will happen when there is virtually NO evidence of that at all.

Stress wise - It's just a new ball game. Money specifically, GFC 2, Affording to move out, who to move out with, on my own? etc etc etc.... the list goes on.

Tbh I found the boss a bit odd. He wasn't exactly helpful, more like he just had to "get the job done". There was a new person on wednesday and tuesday too so at least I wasn't the only new face about.

I do think I will settle into it soon though. Just a time factor really.

Tomorrow I will do the normal process of going a bit earlier to try and get my coffee in during the morning. Something my psych told me can work is normalising behaviours that help you cope - coffee before work starts is an example.

In response to: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

@MDT Hey, Hams, think you are going the right way and doing well. Joining workforce officially is a big step. In that, we often feel anxious and lonely. No one to pamper us there. Not like school or Uni.lol. But you prepare well and managing yourself well. I think we can’t ask for lives without sufferings. But can ask for developing skills to cope with down days. You are on the right track. It will work out well. Take care.

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Nah @CheerBear might watch it tonight. I still don't know what "it" is yet though lol. I might've recorded something about Hong Kong but I'm not too sure.

What shows do you like?

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

i wish haha @TAB lol haven't got the ingredients for that sadly.

Yeah @Meowmy it is a huge step. On Wednesday night I felt good about myself so there is that to remember. Though that may have been because week 1 was done. I imagine that feeling shall return once I get used to my job and the duties it involves. Then I will start to relax I think

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Having that coffee time in the morning helps you to ease into the day too @MDT I am generally up really early but that gives me time to spend with my fur babies - whatever works for you is a good thing.

No new job is easy and takes time to settle in - especially when it is a completely new environment and work for you. Give yourself that time and eventually it will become second nature to you buddy.

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