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A new start (kind of)

A new start (kind of)

Hi @Shaz51 @Zoe7 @outlander @TAB @Sam3 @utopia @Faith-and-Hope @Appleblossom @oceangirl @Sans911 @Snowie @Former-Member @soul @BryanaCamp @Former-Member @Bunniekins and whoever else is there in forumland

I have tagged some of you because we are speaking lots and some others haven't been around for long. If it's too much for you then that's okay I respect that. I won't take it personally.

I have decied to start up a new thread after my psychiatrist appointment today. Off to a new start.

Simply put, he made the point that I am pressuring myself to do stuff far more quickly than what I thought I could. When this approach fails, it feeds back into the loop that was there before (the "i am not good enough", "I have limited time", "I have wasted my life" etc).

He said it was good I didn't go to hospital and avoided ending up there. This doesn't help. What does help is changing the approach etc.

It was a good appointment. I see him again in the morning and then maybe someone else next week.

So it's not entirely hopeless or lost now.

He thought that pressuring myself to go and get this visa would be the wrong decision, given my state of panic yesterday and also this morning.

He said that I need to hold off on pressuring myself. By saying "okay now that I am in Australia for a bit longer, I need to go and find a job quickly" because this is simply unhelpful. It's the wrong attitude and will only feed back into those loops.

So am I feeling more settled? Yes. Do I know what is next? No. Does this bother me? No.

I see my psychologist tomorrow afternoon. I will get something from my psychiatrist in the morning about all of this I think, which he said he can send off as part of the extension on the visa (which lasts for 2 years anyway). It's just a case of extending the timeframe for when I can receive it.

This would effect my chances of working in defence, mi6 etc but these are already off the table for me given my history anyway. The same is the case for the military and police. It does seem like some things are cancelled out because of my MH, but maybe they are things I was never keen on anyways.

That's a side issue for now.

Going to the UK - still a goal. It's a case of how I get there and WHAT I do when I get there. We have established that rocking up with no job or place to live is too chaotic. Especially based on my experience and degree background and skills. But the UK is a goal. My Psychiatrist said "Poland is always there" so I think it might be worthwhile sending them an email asking if I could be either placed on next year's list OR alternatively get some of my money back given the circumstances. Again, not my concern for now.

My concern at the moment is explaining all this to dad. My Psych spoke to my mum today too so she is in the loop. I think he will understand, he wants what is best for me. It takes some adjustment and time. But this is life and how we live it.

THanks forumites. See you a bit later today

Edit: I heard today that one of my old tutees that i helped in 2017 is working and is at uni. Doing well and studying. I joked that we should meet up for coffee and then i can get a job at the same place lol. So today has had a silver lining. This was the student who nearly quit school. But I can only take as much credit for what they achieved. Most of it was them

7645 replies

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In response to: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Meant stuck at work was supposed to go home tomorrow morning lol @MDT

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

ah okay @TAB
you have a place to stay?

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Yes, camp. Was always going to stay tonight but looking like will be here longer as Nightshift people couldn’t get here @MDT

In response to: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Utterly terrible atm.
Need a sleep. Early wake up turned me into something terrible. Probably won't go out tonight though. Not enough money

In response to: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

So I had a bit of a sleep/meditation.

The one thing I realised was that I'm pressuring myself into going out tonight. Why? Because I keep telling myself I have to. Why? Just because "I should". This isn't a reason. I realised I'm pressing myself into going because of some form of urgency. But with my mind so focused on trying to "do things" I am losing track of myself.

I had to remind myself that these things are still there. It's not going anywhere. The reason I don't want to go tonight? I don't want to. That's all. Plus I have very little money to spend. This past two weeks have been exhausting me of all energy. I am hosting my own thing next weekend anyway sort of. Again, I must ease into all of this.

Anyway.

@Shaz51 @Zoe7 @Sam3 @TAB @outlander @eudemonism @BryanaCamp @Faith-and-Hope

In response to: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Constantly throwing myself under the bus like that isn't helping. And making decisions about things, thinking thoughts about myself and saying things when I'm in that space isn't helping either

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

You have been pushing yourself to achieve @MDT and that can become exhausting. Give yourself a break buddy - you don't need to be constantly doing things to feel like your life is fulfilled - sometimes the finding of peace within yoursrlf is sitting back and just being.

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

I’m hearing ya, bro - ditto! @MDT I wish I could delete any thoughts about myself then wow I’d be a new better person. I think my doctor thinks it might be obsessional thinking not just part of depression but either way I want it gone!!!

You might be putting pressure on yourself partly due to learned patterns from childhood, school, your parents perhaps so maybe you can resist it!

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Indeed @Zoe7
I see my pdoc Monday and psych Wednesday. Can raise it at both.
But yes, right now it's a case of being stable "within myself" if that's making sense?
Recalibrate etc.

Even just changing the language around how I view myself is essential. Rather than "I should be doing this atm" I challenge it with better ways to motivate myself.

I agree @Sam3 about childhood and school etc. Train g my brain according to what needs to be done etc.

I am okay atm. I am safe and eager to fix the situation and this is all that I have to worry about.

Just rest in that fact

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Seeing your pdoc and sych this week is a good thing @MDT You have a lot to discuss with them but I think you are on the right track by realising that you need to change a few things in your thinking - that is often the most important step.

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