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A new start (kind of)

A new start (kind of)

Hi @Shaz51 @Zoe7 @outlander @TAB @Sam3 @utopia @Faith-and-Hope @Appleblossom @oceangirl @Sans911 @Snowie @Former-Member @soul @BryanaCamp @Former-Member @Bunniekins and whoever else is there in forumland

I have tagged some of you because we are speaking lots and some others haven't been around for long. If it's too much for you then that's okay I respect that. I won't take it personally.

I have decied to start up a new thread after my psychiatrist appointment today. Off to a new start.

Simply put, he made the point that I am pressuring myself to do stuff far more quickly than what I thought I could. When this approach fails, it feeds back into the loop that was there before (the "i am not good enough", "I have limited time", "I have wasted my life" etc).

He said it was good I didn't go to hospital and avoided ending up there. This doesn't help. What does help is changing the approach etc.

It was a good appointment. I see him again in the morning and then maybe someone else next week.

So it's not entirely hopeless or lost now.

He thought that pressuring myself to go and get this visa would be the wrong decision, given my state of panic yesterday and also this morning.

He said that I need to hold off on pressuring myself. By saying "okay now that I am in Australia for a bit longer, I need to go and find a job quickly" because this is simply unhelpful. It's the wrong attitude and will only feed back into those loops.

So am I feeling more settled? Yes. Do I know what is next? No. Does this bother me? No.

I see my psychologist tomorrow afternoon. I will get something from my psychiatrist in the morning about all of this I think, which he said he can send off as part of the extension on the visa (which lasts for 2 years anyway). It's just a case of extending the timeframe for when I can receive it.

This would effect my chances of working in defence, mi6 etc but these are already off the table for me given my history anyway. The same is the case for the military and police. It does seem like some things are cancelled out because of my MH, but maybe they are things I was never keen on anyways.

That's a side issue for now.

Going to the UK - still a goal. It's a case of how I get there and WHAT I do when I get there. We have established that rocking up with no job or place to live is too chaotic. Especially based on my experience and degree background and skills. But the UK is a goal. My Psychiatrist said "Poland is always there" so I think it might be worthwhile sending them an email asking if I could be either placed on next year's list OR alternatively get some of my money back given the circumstances. Again, not my concern for now.

My concern at the moment is explaining all this to dad. My Psych spoke to my mum today too so she is in the loop. I think he will understand, he wants what is best for me. It takes some adjustment and time. But this is life and how we live it.

THanks forumites. See you a bit later today

Edit: I heard today that one of my old tutees that i helped in 2017 is working and is at uni. Doing well and studying. I joked that we should meet up for coffee and then i can get a job at the same place lol. So today has had a silver lining. This was the student who nearly quit school. But I can only take as much credit for what they achieved. Most of it was them

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In response to: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Thanks @Zoe7
I appreciate your points.

I will have to have a think about it I reckon. It's not easy and I don't want to make a rash decision.

Thanks though.

Hope you have a good day

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

It is a really hard thing to think about let alone face your Dad with @MDT There are so many variables to consider and either way you go there will be fallout - I don't know what is best in your situation but it has to be something you are confident enough to do.

Very much been thinking about you today buddy - not at all an easy for you.

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Thanks @Zoe7

I was thinking about it a bit on my walk this evening.
Honestly the best approach is distance. It's too much a hot button issue. Not my area of concern.

It does bug me but that's no reason to do anything. I can't pretend to know so it's best to simply ignore it and move on from it.

It's weird but I have slowly come to terms with it for now.

It's wrong and I don't support it. But that's that.

No more is needed.

Meanwhile I am happy with where I am in life. Hopefully will get this job from last week as one of my referees spoke to them today.

If I don't get it then I have an interview august at least for the disability royal commission. So that's gonna be good. If I get it of course. The there is also the business I'm helping create with some others so thats good.

But slowly things come together. The girl I was talking to from Poland has now got a bf so I have had to move on from that.

There has been a lot of moving on in life for the past couple of months. Both positive and negative.

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

You have come a long way @MDT both in your thinking about work and you wise consideration about the issue with your Dad. Sometimes we need to pull back and actually do nothing - and as hard as it can be to do nothing it may also be what is best for us. That does not change what may or may not be going on but it does allow you to sit with your feelings knowing that you have made a decision that is best for yourself. It is still not easy but a wise decision for you.

As for the girl in Poland - it is sad for you but the distance does make it difficult as well. What you should take out of that however is that you did connect with someone and so that can certainly happen again - you have so much to offer, so much care and compassion that there is someone out there that you will connect with and them with you

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Indeed @Zoe7
For now I am concerned with finances and work which is a giant hurdle atm. Then relationships and such can come next.
Atm I am cooking veg with dinner as mum fell down while painting today. Her, dad and my sister all did some of it today. I steer clear of it lol.
Drinking some of my whisky too lol

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

I am still struggling with finances too @MDT My pdoc today bulk billed so that really helped. I am waiting to be paid for a couple of the extra days I did and the last pay pretty much went on the mortgage and vet bills. I am expecting that next month I will be more on an even keel but it would be good to pick up a couple of extra days this term to help out as well.

I hope your mum is okay - did she fall off a ladder or lower? Any fall is not good - I hurt my back tripping over things in the garage last year and falling onto other things - too months to feel better after that and a lot of physio. Great that you are all helping her out

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Nah she missed a step down is all @Zoe7
Luckily she fell onto a step so it broke the fall. She just got shaken by it and had to lie down.
I fell onto the wall and got paint on my bum. Lol. Luckily the paint washed out of tracksuit pants quick though.

I am now watching survivor with dad. Dreadful TV lol but I will just make fun of it.
We had a nice dinner with the four of us.

Finances are a bum. My gp bulk bills which is good. My psych is on MHCP but that's expired now so I'll need to "dig deep". My folks help me with the cost though which is good. Haven't seen my pdoc since March when we discussed not going OS.

But anyways.

You sound like you are enjoying the teaching. Nothing worse than a teacher who hates teaching. Your kids are lucky to have you as their teacher

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

https://youtu.be/-M2jSzLBzK4

hamso re your tipple lol @MDT

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Thanks for that vote of confidence @MDT It helps when you like your job and I am so lucky to be where I am with a supportive staff.

I am just cooking dinner here - a bit late but I was home late too. At least I have tomorrow off so a little later of a night tonight won't matter too much.

My GP bulk bills as well and so is my psych too for now. My MHCP runs out soon too so will need to pay for the ongoing sessions. I may need to stretch them out for the rest of the year - it isn't easy some weeks working and then going to appointments afterwards. It often makes the nights harder after a session and I feel really tired the next day so spacing them out a bit may be a good option.

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

So I didn't get the job I interviewed for last week

Bit annoyed but it is what it is. They gave me good feedback. The person they gave it to had 25 years of experience. They said they are putting me on the enrollment list which means if something else comes up in the place then they can give me the role. So I guess that's a silver lining.

Luckily my tax has been paid back so that's going to keep me going for the next month or so.

Back to square 1 again.

Just bored of it. Really hoping that "white privilege" crap people go on about kicks in lol...

Anyways.

Enough for now.

Hope your days are good

@outlander @oceangirl @TAB @Zoe7 @Shaz51 @Bunniekins @BlueBay @BryanaCamp @Appleblossom
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