FORUMS

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,358,869Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Our stories

A new start (kind of)

A new start (kind of)

Hi @Shaz51 @Zoe7 @outlander @TAB @Sam3 @utopia @Faith-and-Hope @Appleblossom @oceangirl @Sans911 @Snowie @Former-Member @soul @BryanaCamp @Former-Member @Bunniekins and whoever else is there in forumland

I have tagged some of you because we are speaking lots and some others haven't been around for long. If it's too much for you then that's okay I respect that. I won't take it personally.

I have decied to start up a new thread after my psychiatrist appointment today. Off to a new start.

Simply put, he made the point that I am pressuring myself to do stuff far more quickly than what I thought I could. When this approach fails, it feeds back into the loop that was there before (the "i am not good enough", "I have limited time", "I have wasted my life" etc).

He said it was good I didn't go to hospital and avoided ending up there. This doesn't help. What does help is changing the approach etc.

It was a good appointment. I see him again in the morning and then maybe someone else next week.

So it's not entirely hopeless or lost now.

He thought that pressuring myself to go and get this visa would be the wrong decision, given my state of panic yesterday and also this morning.

He said that I need to hold off on pressuring myself. By saying "okay now that I am in Australia for a bit longer, I need to go and find a job quickly" because this is simply unhelpful. It's the wrong attitude and will only feed back into those loops.

So am I feeling more settled? Yes. Do I know what is next? No. Does this bother me? No.

I see my psychologist tomorrow afternoon. I will get something from my psychiatrist in the morning about all of this I think, which he said he can send off as part of the extension on the visa (which lasts for 2 years anyway). It's just a case of extending the timeframe for when I can receive it.

This would effect my chances of working in defence, mi6 etc but these are already off the table for me given my history anyway. The same is the case for the military and police. It does seem like some things are cancelled out because of my MH, but maybe they are things I was never keen on anyways.

That's a side issue for now.

Going to the UK - still a goal. It's a case of how I get there and WHAT I do when I get there. We have established that rocking up with no job or place to live is too chaotic. Especially based on my experience and degree background and skills. But the UK is a goal. My Psychiatrist said "Poland is always there" so I think it might be worthwhile sending them an email asking if I could be either placed on next year's list OR alternatively get some of my money back given the circumstances. Again, not my concern for now.

My concern at the moment is explaining all this to dad. My Psych spoke to my mum today too so she is in the loop. I think he will understand, he wants what is best for me. It takes some adjustment and time. But this is life and how we live it.

THanks forumites. See you a bit later today

Edit: I heard today that one of my old tutees that i helped in 2017 is working and is at uni. Doing well and studying. I joked that we should meet up for coffee and then i can get a job at the same place lol. So today has had a silver lining. This was the student who nearly quit school. But I can only take as much credit for what they achieved. Most of it was them

7645 replies

2,931 - 2,940 of 7,645

In response to: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

More good news @MDT

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Well done @MDT

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

thanks @outlander how are you today?

Indeed @Zoe7 slow progress, but progress even still 🙂

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

You're doing well Hams - keep going @MDT

How is the exercise going? I have no plans to do much today but will get out tomorrow for at least 90mins of cardio.

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

I went to the gym this morning @oceangirl with my mate.

It was a good session. Pushed myself a bit. Got to use my new cordless headphones 🎧 as well which was good. Had music to help me.

I plan on going another time this week. That way I have formed a basis for exercise.

Today for the rest of the day I was lazing about the home and won't be going out tonight to meetup. Not too keen for it and want to save money after getting my tax back. Will watch tour de france instead I think and read too. Easy and quiet.

How was your day??

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Hey @MDT I am here but going to bed very soon. Will respond if I can.

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

It's just about my dad. I think he has been "upping the ante" so to speak. @Zoe7

I think my mum is either unaware or just choosing to ignore it. It's just making me think about the way my dad is lying (if he is). He has been out since about mid arvo today "to catch up with a friend" but I have my doubts. Anyway. I shouldn't be thinking about it so much because it's not my realm. I'm just bugged out by the thought of it.

Idk how to process it that's all.

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Hearing you @MDT Will have to reply in the morning - really need to head to be but try not to worry too much about it tonight - there is nothing you can do and overthinking it will just cause you grief. Will chat with you more tomorrow about it.

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

All good @Zoe7
🙂
Sleep well

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

@MDT Sorry I had to leave last night - was extremely nauseous again and super tired. Feeling better this morning but still tired. Should be okay once I get moving though.

As for the situation with your Dad - it is probably one of those situations where you need to try to have a conversation with him. I know that is super hard and very tricky - and the fallout could be massive but if it is giving you so many questions and causing you so much stress then mybe the questions need to be asked.

I can hear how much this is affecting you and you are definitley concerned that what your Dad is telling you all may not be what he is actually doing but it could very well ne the truth also so it really is a tricky one. This is not the first time you have questioned whether he is telling you all the truth and continued questioning of what he is really doing can build up and affect your trust in him. I suppose that is the big question here - do you trust him - and that is a very big question to ask yourself before you approach him directly. So much to consider before you do or say anything. Ultimately whether you say or do anything it needs to be a decision you make for yourself as well as the rest of your family - so a pretty precarious position it places you in. It is not an easy one at all and you need to be able to say to yourself either way that you have done what makes you feel okay with it all.

Whatever you decide and whatever you do or do not say do so with all the information you have squarely in front of you. I honestly do not know what I would do in the same situation here though as it really is a hard position to be in. I suppose it comes down to what you can live with yourself and you need to be guided by that before you act on your own feelings or not.

So not an easy position to be in at all and can completely understand your inner dilemma here @MDT

2,931 - 2,940 of 7,645