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A new start (kind of)

A new start (kind of)

Hi @Shaz51 @Zoe7 @outlander @TAB @Sam3 @utopia @Faith-and-Hope @Appleblossom @oceangirl @Sans911 @Snowie @Former-Member @soul @BryanaCamp @Former-Member @Bunniekins and whoever else is there in forumland

I have tagged some of you because we are speaking lots and some others haven't been around for long. If it's too much for you then that's okay I respect that. I won't take it personally.

I have decied to start up a new thread after my psychiatrist appointment today. Off to a new start.

Simply put, he made the point that I am pressuring myself to do stuff far more quickly than what I thought I could. When this approach fails, it feeds back into the loop that was there before (the "i am not good enough", "I have limited time", "I have wasted my life" etc).

He said it was good I didn't go to hospital and avoided ending up there. This doesn't help. What does help is changing the approach etc.

It was a good appointment. I see him again in the morning and then maybe someone else next week.

So it's not entirely hopeless or lost now.

He thought that pressuring myself to go and get this visa would be the wrong decision, given my state of panic yesterday and also this morning.

He said that I need to hold off on pressuring myself. By saying "okay now that I am in Australia for a bit longer, I need to go and find a job quickly" because this is simply unhelpful. It's the wrong attitude and will only feed back into those loops.

So am I feeling more settled? Yes. Do I know what is next? No. Does this bother me? No.

I see my psychologist tomorrow afternoon. I will get something from my psychiatrist in the morning about all of this I think, which he said he can send off as part of the extension on the visa (which lasts for 2 years anyway). It's just a case of extending the timeframe for when I can receive it.

This would effect my chances of working in defence, mi6 etc but these are already off the table for me given my history anyway. The same is the case for the military and police. It does seem like some things are cancelled out because of my MH, but maybe they are things I was never keen on anyways.

That's a side issue for now.

Going to the UK - still a goal. It's a case of how I get there and WHAT I do when I get there. We have established that rocking up with no job or place to live is too chaotic. Especially based on my experience and degree background and skills. But the UK is a goal. My Psychiatrist said "Poland is always there" so I think it might be worthwhile sending them an email asking if I could be either placed on next year's list OR alternatively get some of my money back given the circumstances. Again, not my concern for now.

My concern at the moment is explaining all this to dad. My Psych spoke to my mum today too so she is in the loop. I think he will understand, he wants what is best for me. It takes some adjustment and time. But this is life and how we live it.

THanks forumites. See you a bit later today

Edit: I heard today that one of my old tutees that i helped in 2017 is working and is at uni. Doing well and studying. I joked that we should meet up for coffee and then i can get a job at the same place lol. So today has had a silver lining. This was the student who nearly quit school. But I can only take as much credit for what they achieved. Most of it was them

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In response to: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Hi @MDT ,

Im sorry ur not too good lately my friend. Whats happening for u?

How r things on the job front?

My hubby is about to start looking for work as i havnt bn able to work for 8 months and he hasnt bn working in that time so wre skint!

I hope things work out for u there and that u end up wiith a job that u r happy with.

Take care of urself @MDT , i hope today is a better day for u.

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Thanks @Doglover
Today I am out. Finally I got paid from the charity so I have a bit cash for the next few weeks so that's good.
I am meeting with some others today and we are going to work on a program to start up our own business. Don't wanna say too much about it lol.

I got an email about that other position so that's good. The one I referred to earlier here that is. Hopefully some comes of that.

Things are slow. But could be lots worse.

I am sorry to hear about your struggles too. 8 Mo this is long for both of you to struggle with money. I am feeling for you my friend.

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Hi @MDT , thanks for ur reply. Im glad to hear u got paid for the charity job. Keep the wolves at bay for a bit. Interesting about the idea of starting a business, all the best with ur discussions about that. Hope something comes from the job for u. Wish my hubby wld get his but into gear and look for a job!

All the best to u @MDT , i hope all goes well for u.

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Thanks @Doglover
Hope you are well tonight mate 🙂

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Thanks @MDT , pretty tough going this end. I hope u r doing better my friend.

In response to: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

I can't see there being to much to worry about @MDT

I used to have lots of flashbacks about stuff i had done /mistakes i had made. And just the memory and thought of these incidents would literally shock me. I would feel stupid, dumb, ashamed, embarrassed, like a fool ... like a bad person ...

I suppose all i was trying to do; was fit in, have a good time, go with the flow... but alot of the time ... i was just making myself out to be a clown in the process ... since then, I've kind of accepted that I've got legit cognitive and behavioral issues ... and basically isolated myself and became a recluse (or looked for and found a different way-which was easier )

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

morning @MDT hope you feel a bit better today. Enjoy the discussion time with your friends, try not to compare yourself to others too much, just know that you're doing everything you can do and more and that any company would be lucky to have you as an employee. Have a good day, sending you happy vibes

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

hey @eudemonism @Zoe7 @BryanaCamp @Doglover @eth @Bunniekins @outlander @oceangirl @Shaz51 @TAB @Ant7 @Faith-and-Hope and others following along

I had a weird dream last night and in some ways I wish my dreams were reality and my reality was my dreams. I'm not happy with myself as I think I need to be doing better.

I know this feeds back into a negative loop/spiral that has given my strife in the past but I can't help thinking that it might at least be partly true.

I know I can't be hard on myself, however I do sometimes think that I have to be.

I'm still getting over not getting that intern role (the interview I left knowing I had stuffed up big time). I saw some of the people who got the roles as there was a group of people hired. Anyways. I'm' just trying to learn what I need to do differently in order to find success.

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Sorry to hear about the internship @MDT . It's always nice when a dream reminds us that it is possible to feel good about things - just a taste of the feeling, even if in dreamland. But hard not to be disappointed when we wake up from it. The things our minds can create when we're asleep continue to amaze me.

Sounds like you are taking a pragmatic approach to it all for today.

Have a day with nice bits in it. Take care.

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Thanks @eth
My dream wasn't nice - it just felt more interesting or exciting than reality. It's weird to say that I know.

thanks my friend 🙂
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