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A new start (kind of)

A new start (kind of)

Hi @Shaz51 @Zoe7 @outlander @TAB @Sam3 @utopia @Faith-and-Hope @Appleblossom @oceangirl @Sans911 @Snowie @Former-Member @soul @BryanaCamp @Former-Member @Bunniekins and whoever else is there in forumland

I have tagged some of you because we are speaking lots and some others haven't been around for long. If it's too much for you then that's okay I respect that. I won't take it personally.

I have decied to start up a new thread after my psychiatrist appointment today. Off to a new start.

Simply put, he made the point that I am pressuring myself to do stuff far more quickly than what I thought I could. When this approach fails, it feeds back into the loop that was there before (the "i am not good enough", "I have limited time", "I have wasted my life" etc).

He said it was good I didn't go to hospital and avoided ending up there. This doesn't help. What does help is changing the approach etc.

It was a good appointment. I see him again in the morning and then maybe someone else next week.

So it's not entirely hopeless or lost now.

He thought that pressuring myself to go and get this visa would be the wrong decision, given my state of panic yesterday and also this morning.

He said that I need to hold off on pressuring myself. By saying "okay now that I am in Australia for a bit longer, I need to go and find a job quickly" because this is simply unhelpful. It's the wrong attitude and will only feed back into those loops.

So am I feeling more settled? Yes. Do I know what is next? No. Does this bother me? No.

I see my psychologist tomorrow afternoon. I will get something from my psychiatrist in the morning about all of this I think, which he said he can send off as part of the extension on the visa (which lasts for 2 years anyway). It's just a case of extending the timeframe for when I can receive it.

This would effect my chances of working in defence, mi6 etc but these are already off the table for me given my history anyway. The same is the case for the military and police. It does seem like some things are cancelled out because of my MH, but maybe they are things I was never keen on anyways.

That's a side issue for now.

Going to the UK - still a goal. It's a case of how I get there and WHAT I do when I get there. We have established that rocking up with no job or place to live is too chaotic. Especially based on my experience and degree background and skills. But the UK is a goal. My Psychiatrist said "Poland is always there" so I think it might be worthwhile sending them an email asking if I could be either placed on next year's list OR alternatively get some of my money back given the circumstances. Again, not my concern for now.

My concern at the moment is explaining all this to dad. My Psych spoke to my mum today too so she is in the loop. I think he will understand, he wants what is best for me. It takes some adjustment and time. But this is life and how we live it.

THanks forumites. See you a bit later today

Edit: I heard today that one of my old tutees that i helped in 2017 is working and is at uni. Doing well and studying. I joked that we should meet up for coffee and then i can get a job at the same place lol. So today has had a silver lining. This was the student who nearly quit school. But I can only take as much credit for what they achieved. Most of it was them

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In response to: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Sounds alright to Me @MDT . Maybe take a break from the job apps and watch some more Orville if you haven't finished it already. I was going to have a look at it as I haven't seen or heard much about it before. I hope you don't need hospital to. Fingers crossed we can help you a little bit here or you can get by without it.

It must be troubling if you can't put your finger on anything to specific. I'm pretty lucky in that regard. I've been a little worked up lately with my brothers behaviour. He always talked about how important family was and now he seems to have disregarded everythng and is to caught up with his own stuff. My friends think I'm to hard on him after his ordeals, but, I know he'd be tougher on Me. I wish I could let it all go and move on, but, it still keeps me up at night. Think I only ended up with 4 hours sleep today which is no good for Me. Feel like I have ruined my life for nothing.

Wish I could take time out for a few weeks and try and get myself right, but, I've used all my leave and sick days in the last year trying to be there for my family.

In response to: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

@MDT, your right about the gym. I attended last night for a while. I reckon I might have a dance with the old boxing bag at home this arvo for a while.

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Anything is good re physical activity @Gazza75

I was going to go today but I got held up with jobs and such. Glad I didn't. I've now got 4 applications in.

Going to take a small break and then do 2 more.

I have them sitting in my bookmarks so I can just go back to them and apply straight away.

Family is difficult I think. There is some weird stuff with my dad that I am still trying to understand and my sister is also very limited in her capacity to do things alone. She has therefore become quite reliant on my mum for validation and support - even though she can do things herself and has proven to herself that this is so. She doubts herself too much, so we have that in common.

For the most part siblings can be our worst enemy or our best friend. Maybe this is a period with your brother where you need distance.

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

@MDT, I totally agree in regard to the physical activity. I think if anything its more important if we find ourselves getting in the duldrums, of course that's when its the hardest to find the energy.

Good luck with the rest of the applications.

I think your right about the distance with my brother, we have been that way for well over a year now. I'm more worried about his lack of interaction socially and with my parents, its like he and his wife are punishing them for what I did. Self doubt is diffucult to overcome.

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

hugs my @MDT

one step at a time my friend xx

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

@Shaz51 🙂

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

well done on applying for jobs today @MDT

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Thanks mate @outlander
How you going these days?

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Hugs to you both @Gazza75 @MDT ❤️❤️

In response to: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Hello @MDT

Thank you for thinking of me and tagging...always a nice feeling for someone who flits these days..

I have no idea where your life is up to due to my absences but can pick up the sense of deflation...lack of motivation...

inward questioning...need I go on?

You mentioned medication change ...even if advised...there will still be imbalance within your body metabolism...along with jolly old life that persists in poking it's nose in where it is definitely not wanted...

also in brief reading back sounds like you have had a lot of change...life circumstances?

yes ....metabolism again...

perhaps have a chat to yourself about how you want to be feeling...you get that self needs time to adjust...so a different path of thinking to change that old patterned part of the brain...

does help occasionally.

sometimes just thinking about change helps shift the metabolism ...

whatever you choose...trust me this is not the way your life will always be unless you let it be...

sound like I know it all?...

No..

have just been there and back ...there and back...

other places...

new feelings...

learning to trust in yourself has been the best help for me...

take care 💜

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