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A new start (kind of)

A new start (kind of)

Hi @Shaz51 @Zoe7 @outlander @TAB @Sam3 @utopia @Faith-and-Hope @Appleblossom @oceangirl @Sans911 @Snowie @Former-Member @soul @BryanaCamp @Former-Member @Bunniekins and whoever else is there in forumland

I have tagged some of you because we are speaking lots and some others haven't been around for long. If it's too much for you then that's okay I respect that. I won't take it personally.

I have decied to start up a new thread after my psychiatrist appointment today. Off to a new start.

Simply put, he made the point that I am pressuring myself to do stuff far more quickly than what I thought I could. When this approach fails, it feeds back into the loop that was there before (the "i am not good enough", "I have limited time", "I have wasted my life" etc).

He said it was good I didn't go to hospital and avoided ending up there. This doesn't help. What does help is changing the approach etc.

It was a good appointment. I see him again in the morning and then maybe someone else next week.

So it's not entirely hopeless or lost now.

He thought that pressuring myself to go and get this visa would be the wrong decision, given my state of panic yesterday and also this morning.

He said that I need to hold off on pressuring myself. By saying "okay now that I am in Australia for a bit longer, I need to go and find a job quickly" because this is simply unhelpful. It's the wrong attitude and will only feed back into those loops.

So am I feeling more settled? Yes. Do I know what is next? No. Does this bother me? No.

I see my psychologist tomorrow afternoon. I will get something from my psychiatrist in the morning about all of this I think, which he said he can send off as part of the extension on the visa (which lasts for 2 years anyway). It's just a case of extending the timeframe for when I can receive it.

This would effect my chances of working in defence, mi6 etc but these are already off the table for me given my history anyway. The same is the case for the military and police. It does seem like some things are cancelled out because of my MH, but maybe they are things I was never keen on anyways.

That's a side issue for now.

Going to the UK - still a goal. It's a case of how I get there and WHAT I do when I get there. We have established that rocking up with no job or place to live is too chaotic. Especially based on my experience and degree background and skills. But the UK is a goal. My Psychiatrist said "Poland is always there" so I think it might be worthwhile sending them an email asking if I could be either placed on next year's list OR alternatively get some of my money back given the circumstances. Again, not my concern for now.

My concern at the moment is explaining all this to dad. My Psych spoke to my mum today too so she is in the loop. I think he will understand, he wants what is best for me. It takes some adjustment and time. But this is life and how we live it.

THanks forumites. See you a bit later today

Edit: I heard today that one of my old tutees that i helped in 2017 is working and is at uni. Doing well and studying. I joked that we should meet up for coffee and then i can get a job at the same place lol. So today has had a silver lining. This was the student who nearly quit school. But I can only take as much credit for what they achieved. Most of it was them

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In response to: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

how many days left of it @TAB

In response to: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

your old colleague sounds cool @MDT , that's a great strategy. such a good contact to have.

good idea to delay your ep, good going on recognising your triggers.

you sound really high functioning, getting up & being productive during the day and having the energy to cook at night and so on. all things I struggle with.

did you end up getting back to the recruitment agency to tell them 'no' to the position?

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Yeh i did say no @BryanaCamp
She wasn't too impressed but then again it's my choice. I'm not going to put myself in a role that I can't see myself doing. Potentially making it worse on myself.

I ended up watching the episode anyway over lunch lol. Not too bad. I don't feel terrible. I just needed a break from this career stuff. It's tiring and stressful for me because it takes on a bigger role for my own mental health. It can be a real bummer for me as I associate work/career with self esteem and self worth.

Anyway. I sent some examples off to my colleague. Or at least something resembling examples.

Easy does it

In response to: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Thanks @BryanaCamp

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

No idea @MDT they only have few days left on budget and keep having to do things twice and getting held up because of people here changing their minds

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

i get the impression she is a bit sick of me though @BryanaCamp

Managing an awkward thing like this isn't my forte but I guess it's helping. Hopefully 😕

Fair enough @TAB I see why you are feeling about this the way you are. Is it similar to what you've been doing?

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

well done on saying no @MDT , that is a very difficult thing to do. It's an excellent assertiveness skill and an excellent communication skill. I don't think she's sick of you, it's her job to seek suitable employment for you, I think your concerns are just distorted, negative self-talk not based on reality. You're doing a great job & sticking to your standards which are important.

I think a lot of people attach self-esteem and self-worth to their job. I went to apply for a job yesterday that was re-advertised. when I logged in it said I wasn't allowed to becuase my previous application was "unsuccessful". seeing that word my mood dropped and I wanted to withdraw from society and crawl into a small hole. I get that job searching messes with your MI.

I've got training today at my volunteer work. It's only an hour but my history of training is that I get very angry, very quickly (it tends to all sound like un-practical nonsense & I can't stand it). I can't stand it when someone craps on and on, on a tangent & the facilitator doens't close them down. I feel like yelling. So, I gotta be calm and co-operative today, protect my good reputation as my referees there are my only ticket to possible paid employment.

glad you enjoyed your game of thrones ep. I'm enjoying Schitts Creek.

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

i hope it goes okay @BryanaCamp

I think your reservations are understandable tbh

But yes, do your best to stay calm. Maybe try viewing it in a new light?

I am off to gym this morning. I need to start upping my efforts before the charity run/walk in a month's time or else I will turn to jello lol

in other news, i got a photo of myself speaking the other day at my network event which was a bit of a mood enhancer as i am no longer skinny. I was happy with that.

In the end though, we need to value ourselves for more than just what we look like. I still believe this

hey also to @outlander @Shaz51 @Zoe7 @TAB @oceangirl @Appleblossom @Faith-and-Hope @eudemonism @Meowmy @Sam3 @Bunniekins @BlueBay

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

@MDT @BryanaCamp @TAB @Bunniekins good morning. Hope you all have a good day and achieve what you set out. @MDT hope career and job work out for you.

I need to get into exercises this afternoon. Last night, I cooked healthy dinner, chicken, tomato,carrot sweet and sour for Mum and I.

With all my sadness, I need to get onto what I can do.

Thanks for support and care.So important. My suicide struggles are better since joined the forum.

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Hope you have a good day @Meowmy sorry am busy with work still
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