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A new start (kind of)

A new start (kind of)

Hi @Shaz51 @Zoe7 @outlander @TAB @Sam3 @utopia @Faith-and-Hope @Appleblossom @oceangirl @Sans911 @Snowie @Former-Member @soul @BryanaCamp @Former-Member @Bunniekins and whoever else is there in forumland

I have tagged some of you because we are speaking lots and some others haven't been around for long. If it's too much for you then that's okay I respect that. I won't take it personally.

I have decied to start up a new thread after my psychiatrist appointment today. Off to a new start.

Simply put, he made the point that I am pressuring myself to do stuff far more quickly than what I thought I could. When this approach fails, it feeds back into the loop that was there before (the "i am not good enough", "I have limited time", "I have wasted my life" etc).

He said it was good I didn't go to hospital and avoided ending up there. This doesn't help. What does help is changing the approach etc.

It was a good appointment. I see him again in the morning and then maybe someone else next week.

So it's not entirely hopeless or lost now.

He thought that pressuring myself to go and get this visa would be the wrong decision, given my state of panic yesterday and also this morning.

He said that I need to hold off on pressuring myself. By saying "okay now that I am in Australia for a bit longer, I need to go and find a job quickly" because this is simply unhelpful. It's the wrong attitude and will only feed back into those loops.

So am I feeling more settled? Yes. Do I know what is next? No. Does this bother me? No.

I see my psychologist tomorrow afternoon. I will get something from my psychiatrist in the morning about all of this I think, which he said he can send off as part of the extension on the visa (which lasts for 2 years anyway). It's just a case of extending the timeframe for when I can receive it.

This would effect my chances of working in defence, mi6 etc but these are already off the table for me given my history anyway. The same is the case for the military and police. It does seem like some things are cancelled out because of my MH, but maybe they are things I was never keen on anyways.

That's a side issue for now.

Going to the UK - still a goal. It's a case of how I get there and WHAT I do when I get there. We have established that rocking up with no job or place to live is too chaotic. Especially based on my experience and degree background and skills. But the UK is a goal. My Psychiatrist said "Poland is always there" so I think it might be worthwhile sending them an email asking if I could be either placed on next year's list OR alternatively get some of my money back given the circumstances. Again, not my concern for now.

My concern at the moment is explaining all this to dad. My Psych spoke to my mum today too so she is in the loop. I think he will understand, he wants what is best for me. It takes some adjustment and time. But this is life and how we live it.

THanks forumites. See you a bit later today

Edit: I heard today that one of my old tutees that i helped in 2017 is working and is at uni. Doing well and studying. I joked that we should meet up for coffee and then i can get a job at the same place lol. So today has had a silver lining. This was the student who nearly quit school. But I can only take as much credit for what they achieved. Most of it was them

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In response to: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

See FF post @MDT how are you going

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

That's a bummer on your FF post @TAB
How are you atm?

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Trying to forget this week @MDT may just chuck job in too if this is what have to contend with. My supervisor took their side til it got explained to him by ah’s boss yeh thanks fellas

In response to: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Hi @BryanaCamp thanks for your message. Work was ok despite new graduate Team Leader being there on Thursday ... but who knows, she’s probably made more observations/judgements of me that she decides are essential feedback ☹️ so shall wait and see. So sorry to hear about the feedback you got recently. I am impressed you were able to accept it as constructive albeit brutal. Sounds like it was right for you to stay home rather than feel you needed to put on a mask & drink more 🍺

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

thanks @Sam3 @TAB @Zoe7

@TAB sorry to hear someone is trying to tarnish your reputation at work. I've been there & know it is so tough, devastating. I've been strong & "abstained" so far this weekend. It was hard last night as my sister offended me bad with an email but had chocolate instead. Even bought some beetroots & roasted them as I've heard they're good for the liver!

hi @Sam3 hope you're having a nice weekend with the fam. Sounds like you're managing a potentially difficult manager very well, good on you that would be trying my patience big-time. Hi @MDT @Zoe7 hope you're enjoying your weekend too.

So my sister sent me this email that was a very, cheesy promotion about conservation. I was like, "preaching to the converted much?!" becuase I'm a commited conservationist & have done loads of volunteer work to support that for years & sign loads of political petitions to support endagered species. and so-on. It's one of the things that defines my identity - I care about the planet & endangered species & take action regularly to support that. And she sends me this email like I'm a total stranger! The last time I emailed her to sign a petition to protect an endangered species she cracked the s**ts and said don't ever send me one of those again, like I'd made this huge error. Now she send me the same thing? I'm so angry at her it's like she doesn't think I'm important enough to know. I've only been spending time with her since I got onto good meds that allow me to have relationships with people, for about the last year, but it's like she doesn't even care who I am. I was going to go to her holiday house over easter to have a break & some family time. But now that's all soured. At least I had the self control to not send her an email straight back teling her how insulted I am (waste of time anyways, she doesn't like confrontation & worms her way out of apologies). I just deleted it. I managed not to drown my anger in beer. And my pdoc said I can increase my meds to cope with stresses so that's an option but I don't really want to as I want to save that option for really serious events. I'm just really shocked and annoyed. Grrr.

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

morning @BryanaCamp

That sounds like a proverbial screw up in regards to your sister. Family can be like that though can't it?

I sure hope you are alright today though my friend. Take it easy. Conservation is interesting to me, but I don't know too much about it. I do know that industrialisation has had a side effect where the environment has been damaged - in many cases beyond repair. In the end though, I think we are slowly realising this as a world.

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

thanks @MDT you're a pal. yeah, family is complicated.

I don't like to push my conservation views on anyone as it's a personal choice & everyone is entitled to their own perspective but thanks for your comments on that too.

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Another side to what you sister sent you may be her way of reaching out and mending some of that relationship with something you know you are very much interested in @BryanaCamp Just a thought but one worth considering.

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

indeed @Zoe7
People can reach out in their own peculiar way at times @BryanaCamp

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Sorry re sister , well done re drinking and yeah still stuck here so still have to deal with this guy @BryanaCamp
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