FORUMS

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,358,869Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Our stories

A new start (kind of)

A new start (kind of)

Hi @Shaz51 @Zoe7 @outlander @TAB @Sam3 @utopia @Faith-and-Hope @Appleblossom @oceangirl @Sans911 @Snowie @Former-Member @soul @BryanaCamp @Former-Member @Bunniekins and whoever else is there in forumland

I have tagged some of you because we are speaking lots and some others haven't been around for long. If it's too much for you then that's okay I respect that. I won't take it personally.

I have decied to start up a new thread after my psychiatrist appointment today. Off to a new start.

Simply put, he made the point that I am pressuring myself to do stuff far more quickly than what I thought I could. When this approach fails, it feeds back into the loop that was there before (the "i am not good enough", "I have limited time", "I have wasted my life" etc).

He said it was good I didn't go to hospital and avoided ending up there. This doesn't help. What does help is changing the approach etc.

It was a good appointment. I see him again in the morning and then maybe someone else next week.

So it's not entirely hopeless or lost now.

He thought that pressuring myself to go and get this visa would be the wrong decision, given my state of panic yesterday and also this morning.

He said that I need to hold off on pressuring myself. By saying "okay now that I am in Australia for a bit longer, I need to go and find a job quickly" because this is simply unhelpful. It's the wrong attitude and will only feed back into those loops.

So am I feeling more settled? Yes. Do I know what is next? No. Does this bother me? No.

I see my psychologist tomorrow afternoon. I will get something from my psychiatrist in the morning about all of this I think, which he said he can send off as part of the extension on the visa (which lasts for 2 years anyway). It's just a case of extending the timeframe for when I can receive it.

This would effect my chances of working in defence, mi6 etc but these are already off the table for me given my history anyway. The same is the case for the military and police. It does seem like some things are cancelled out because of my MH, but maybe they are things I was never keen on anyways.

That's a side issue for now.

Going to the UK - still a goal. It's a case of how I get there and WHAT I do when I get there. We have established that rocking up with no job or place to live is too chaotic. Especially based on my experience and degree background and skills. But the UK is a goal. My Psychiatrist said "Poland is always there" so I think it might be worthwhile sending them an email asking if I could be either placed on next year's list OR alternatively get some of my money back given the circumstances. Again, not my concern for now.

My concern at the moment is explaining all this to dad. My Psych spoke to my mum today too so she is in the loop. I think he will understand, he wants what is best for me. It takes some adjustment and time. But this is life and how we live it.

THanks forumites. See you a bit later today

Edit: I heard today that one of my old tutees that i helped in 2017 is working and is at uni. Doing well and studying. I joked that we should meet up for coffee and then i can get a job at the same place lol. So today has had a silver lining. This was the student who nearly quit school. But I can only take as much credit for what they achieved. Most of it was them

7645 replies

1,331 - 1,340 of 7,645

In response to: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Hi @Zoe7

In response to: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

hello friends @Zoe7 @MDT @TAB you are always so kind to me.

Did my interview & don't think I've ever performed more "blah" (energy so low) but hey, I did it. Had a great hot choc before hand as I was 1/2 hour early & had to spend time. So in the unlikely event that I get an offer at least I know there's an excellent cafe nearby.

@MDT sounds like you got lots of pots on the boil, this opportunity, that opportunity. that is very cool. you're a young person full of potential so I'm not surprised you're in demand - go you!

@TAB if you can, take a moment to appreciate what you've achieved and enjoy that. You got a few days before Monday to just relax and enjoy you're success - treat yourself? what would that involve? be proud of your achievement.

@Zoe7 you're such a sweety. I think it will be a good thing if out of all this job searching I at least get a volunteer position, that's a foot in the door. I so admire that you have a job & can't imagine how you did that! I find I rely on this forum - before I say real stuff irl I think, "no I don't need to bulrt that MI out, I'll tell my mates at the forum". Do you think that's dysfunctional? I worry I'm dysfunctional.

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Not dysfunctional at all @BryanaCamp Many of us here do the same - it is the security and friendships that we do form in such a supportive community. The connections we make here are very real - part of that is that we have a level of trust in each other because we do share so much of our lives - and there is absolutely nothing at all wrong with that - we do what we need to do to help ourselves and if that means chatting on the forum then that is a great outlet to share what is going on for us.

I loved that you found a good coffee shop nearby to this workplace - if you get the job then that is a silver lining for you. Finding a positive in what you were seeing as a negative earlier is good Hon. If you did get this job then there is no reason why you can't keep looking for something closer to home and something you want more - then you can leave. That is my positive way to look at it anyway

Going back to work for me was really difficult at the end of last year - I went back to a very toxic environment and it drained everything out of me - but I got through and made the decision to move schools ...that was the best decision I could have made - I am now in a wonderful school even if it is just for half the year. I have no idea what will happen when my 2 terms at this school are finished - I am ceratinly hoping that I can stay but that is not up to me - what will be will be and I will have to deal with it then. There is no point dwelling on the what ifs now though - just enjoy the job I have and deal with what comes when it gets here.

@TAB Hope you feel a little better before Monday and it all goes well for you

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

sounds normal @BryanaCamp re I'll tell people on sane ..

yeah have hopes of feeling a lot better by tomorrow @Zoe7 although I said that yesterday. thanks.

friend who is teacher is really struggling atm, acted out in staff room apparently after someone tried to push their workload on him, this is a common occurrence seems re people trying palm stuff off onto anyone who will take it

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

It is the end of term too @TAB so everyone is getting tired. It's not great that your friend behaved that way but I can understand the frustration being asked to do even more when the workload is already very high.

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

well, not just asked to do more, it was asked to do someone else's stuff so they would be doing less @Zoe7 anyway think my friend never should have become a teacher, they just force themselves to do it

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Not knowing the circumstances I can't really comment @TAB but it doesn't sound ideal for your friend.

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

More wise from aunty @Zoe7 there
@BryanaCamp cafes always help with that I find. Evrytime I go for an interview or place of work I scour ahead and get there early to see where i gotta go and I always end up early so I just get a drink lol
Yesterday was good because they were aware of my employment situation and I was honest and upfront about my casual work history and how this could hold me back. It was a good appointment and they clearly know their stuff.

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Off to the networking event now.

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

it's ok @Zoe7 will leave it

1,331 - 1,340 of 7,645