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A new start (kind of)

A new start (kind of)

Hi @Shaz51 @Zoe7 @outlander @TAB @Sam3 @utopia @Faith-and-Hope @Appleblossom @oceangirl @Sans911 @Snowie @Former-Member @soul @BryanaCamp @Former-Member @Bunniekins and whoever else is there in forumland

I have tagged some of you because we are speaking lots and some others haven't been around for long. If it's too much for you then that's okay I respect that. I won't take it personally.

I have decied to start up a new thread after my psychiatrist appointment today. Off to a new start.

Simply put, he made the point that I am pressuring myself to do stuff far more quickly than what I thought I could. When this approach fails, it feeds back into the loop that was there before (the "i am not good enough", "I have limited time", "I have wasted my life" etc).

He said it was good I didn't go to hospital and avoided ending up there. This doesn't help. What does help is changing the approach etc.

It was a good appointment. I see him again in the morning and then maybe someone else next week.

So it's not entirely hopeless or lost now.

He thought that pressuring myself to go and get this visa would be the wrong decision, given my state of panic yesterday and also this morning.

He said that I need to hold off on pressuring myself. By saying "okay now that I am in Australia for a bit longer, I need to go and find a job quickly" because this is simply unhelpful. It's the wrong attitude and will only feed back into those loops.

So am I feeling more settled? Yes. Do I know what is next? No. Does this bother me? No.

I see my psychologist tomorrow afternoon. I will get something from my psychiatrist in the morning about all of this I think, which he said he can send off as part of the extension on the visa (which lasts for 2 years anyway). It's just a case of extending the timeframe for when I can receive it.

This would effect my chances of working in defence, mi6 etc but these are already off the table for me given my history anyway. The same is the case for the military and police. It does seem like some things are cancelled out because of my MH, but maybe they are things I was never keen on anyways.

That's a side issue for now.

Going to the UK - still a goal. It's a case of how I get there and WHAT I do when I get there. We have established that rocking up with no job or place to live is too chaotic. Especially based on my experience and degree background and skills. But the UK is a goal. My Psychiatrist said "Poland is always there" so I think it might be worthwhile sending them an email asking if I could be either placed on next year's list OR alternatively get some of my money back given the circumstances. Again, not my concern for now.

My concern at the moment is explaining all this to dad. My Psych spoke to my mum today too so she is in the loop. I think he will understand, he wants what is best for me. It takes some adjustment and time. But this is life and how we live it.

THanks forumites. See you a bit later today

Edit: I heard today that one of my old tutees that i helped in 2017 is working and is at uni. Doing well and studying. I joked that we should meet up for coffee and then i can get a job at the same place lol. So today has had a silver lining. This was the student who nearly quit school. But I can only take as much credit for what they achieved. Most of it was them

7645 replies

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In response to: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

hi @TAB that is tough conditions to be working in 36 deg & humid. You're a hard worker. I'm not surprised you got a bit snippy. I totally relate, I'm highly irritable & have a very short temper and it makes for a tough time in the social world at times epsecially when everyone else seems so calm and relaxed about what's annoying me.

hi @MDT how are you going today, have you got work on? Hope your session with psych is continuing to nourish you & help settle things a little today.

hi @Zoe7 that's nice to have a new cactus! I've got a couple of aloe veras inside and they barely need any water, it's nice to have a little bit of greenery. hope today goes well at school for you

hi @Sam3 we haven't heard from you for a while, how are you travelling? how's work and your family going?

I'm off to a slow start today. I've got errands and chores to do but feeling very demotivated. My call to my brother last night went ok, he sounded a little restless and frustrated at how slowly things are going in hospital and how little he gets to see of his doctor & how little info is available about outpatient care once he leaves hospital. I think he might be sick of me calling him. Oh well, tonight is my last night then it's back to my sister's responsibility to call him which will be a relief.

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Not til tomorrow @BryanaCamp
I have a networkibg event this evening and also spoke to my old colleague this morning about some small projects to work on. So that's helpful. Takes some of the stress away.
Just went to gym and now waiting for my coffee which I just ordered.
Overall I'm not too bad. Woke up crappy but then went to gym and that helped.
I'm beginning to think that so long as i have something to do in the first half of the day I feel better. Even if it's just a gym visit. That can make a difference. It's good just to break it up. Then I can feel like i accomplished a small task. Spoke about this briefly the other day at the psych too.

I am just taking it small steps at a time. No need to rush.

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

I hope it gets resolved with your bro @BryanaCamp
I'm impressed by your consideration for his welfare. Family matters

In response to: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Hope you are managing alright @TAB

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

sounds like you are doing really well today @MDT , good work on pacing yourself, that is a great headspace to be in. The valuable steps you're taking today will all payoff in time to your overall goals.

I totally relate to the concept of doing something in the morning to get a sense of accomplishment. I finally managed to do my HI 10 minute workout today and although I don't seem to get the endorphines hit that I've heard about, I get a real sense of achievement after I've done it and mark it on my wall calendar. The lady in the youtube vid says "even a small bit of exercise is way, way better than no exercise" so I like that encouragement. It is great that gymwork makes you feel better, that's a big strength. It's also good that you can get up in the morning & get going - I need 2 coffees to do that! And as one of my fav self-help people says, everyone has a physical body, despite whatever mental state, that needs to be taken care of. Daniel Mackler.

Thanks for your comments about my brother, I appreicate it. I really hope he can turn things around as an outpatient and get some support services in place to start creating a social support network as he was uber isolated before being commited. Yeah family is family. I've only been able to enjoy family since being on my current meds, especially anti-psychotics which makes it easier to be around people.

I'm just doing some cooking now, a big healthy stirfry with lots of veg. I've marinaded the tofu so it should be good. Do you like cooking?

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

yeh @BryanaCamp it's good to do it I think. I've been into it since I was a kid. One of the few in my social circle at school who did food tech in my final exams for school. Was a bit of a bludge but it taught me some really useful skills I think.

Yeah it can get like that I think, I need coffee in the morning to wake up. I think the effects of my meds also keep in sleep mode for a little longer than I want.

glad that gym helps you, or at least any form of exercise. I find it easier to wind down afterwards too

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

It does sound like your brother is not being told much and that is hard for all of you @BryanaCamp but it is better he is in hospital that going how he was before he went in.

I have named my three coloured cacti after previous moderators we have had here - one of those mods really loved cacti too so it seemed appropriate. I have a lot of indoor plants - I love plants either inside or in the garden - just keeing them alive sometimes is difficult - especially when I forget to water them lol

Work was good today - and helped out with one class doing a little extra - the teacher on that class looked quite tired today so I did some of the marking for her ...she was very grateful

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Im
Fine @MDT people working with think they are in charge and doing full
Passive aggressive thing anyway only a few hrs to go hope not asked to come in tomorrow. Doubtful anyway as am
Laborhire so cost too much

In response to: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

@MDT I've worked out that religion, the system and society are the cause of all my problems. And I'm now realising it's them with the problem and it's them who are sick. Not my problems. Not my sickness. No need to stress about them.

In response to: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Ask him about medicines which promote 'healthy norm vs dysfunctional norm ' it's a really interesting theory...

I despise tv shows which are based around the healthy norm... because someone is always ending up severely screwed...

Perhaps the healthy norm creates the dysfunctional norm...
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