I’m sick of being crazy

Thank you so much for the advice, I will look into it now. It’s so refreshing to hear I’m not alone on this, yes the school seem to flare up a lot for me as does Centrelink.

I will try to reach out to some groups, I am really just not able to work right now, no employer will keep me on when I have ‘bad days’ and can’t go. I’m too unreliable (unintentionally)

i feel like I’m marching to a different beat and because I don’t quite fit into mainstream I am being punished. It really just puts my progress waaaay back and it’s so frustrating.

@LoneyGirl

Go and speak to a social worker at CentreLink. We don't all fit into their neat little criteria lists. That's where the social worker will help. Don't worry if you cry. Take a letter with you from your psychologist or psychiatrist stating your diagnosis. Explain to social worker your stress levels are out of control. That 38 hours a week scares you. That you are struggling to stay on track as it is, without the added pressure. She should be able to help you .

I abhor Centrelink, I become nervous just going into the same building (which is difficult because it also houses the ndis). I’m on dsp and don’t have to job search but boy was that a struggle to achieve. I basically had to have an appointment with a CL representative while I was involuntary in hospital to prove to them I cannot work due to illness. I then have developed this paranoia that my pension will be taken away from me and I will have to pay it back. Scary stuff!

@LoneyGirl Hi, this is my first post on this site, so bear with me if I don't write the correct way...

Regarding your free psychology visits; are these through a GP mental health plan?

If so, they renew per calendar year, so if your last one was in November last year, you are eligible for more visits.

If the renewal or review of you plan is not until April, you can have a review earlier in special circumstances, which I believe this is.

Especially if you have found a psychologist that really works for you.

Have you close friends or a SAFE place you can go to? A safe place where you are protected from people you don't know, with a person you trust, someone you can just BE with, like a good friend? This can help me, even if they're doing their own thing, I just feel their presence and it calms me as I trust them.

I know you don't want to take more medication, as it can be expensive and is not the solution, but have you thought of an adjunct to your current medication, just to take the edge off, so you are better able to work through the stressors?

Re employment; what are you experienced in? Maybe just start with casual work if easier to find. Centrelink can be so difficult, but if a little work helps you, forget going for the full-time job for now, it would be too stressful it seems anyway.

Just my thoughts, sorry if no help. I feel like an alien sometimes, but I try to focus my mind back to when I feel human, and a non-crazy human! You can do it!!!

You are so right, just the thought for going into Centrelink sets off my anxiety. It’s so awful being treated so poorly- especially having BPD- I already hate myself so they don’t need to hate me too. I’ve linked in with a social worker who I am hoping will advocate on my behalf. In the meantime I’ve been cut off from my payments because I didn’t apply for enough jobs- they just don’t get it- needless to say I totally drowned myself in alcohol over the weekend which didn’t help anything (it never does) feel like I’m going backwards