Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.
Unknown userMember
Living and loving someone with MI presents relationship challenges and often others cannot see why we chose to stay with our partners.
Being mindful of not intruding on others stories I thought having a thread where we can share tips and encourage one another would be of value.
In response to: Partners who chose to stay for the long haul
DeterminedSenior Contributor
@Sasha_86 I tend to go into some.sort of auto pilot at times like that. We have young children so focusing on them is what gets me through. I would not say that I was overly effective though. The biggest thing I have learned is that self care is even more important during the tough times... the times I forget about me and distract myself looking after everyone else.
Trust everything is ok for you now.
Thinking of you.
In response to: Partners who chose to stay for the long haul
Shaz51Senior Contributor
yes @Sasha_86 what happened my friend , here for you xx
In response to: Partners who chose to stay for the long haul
Sasha_86Contributor
@Former-Member to be honest nothing has happened today, second day home after my loves most recent ideation so I think just a combo of limited sleep, tension, and hyper vigilance maybe? Just one of those days where emotions are right on the surface and nerves are a little frazzled...
In response to: Re: Partners who chose to stay for the long haul
Unknown userMember
Crisis times are always so draining @Sasha_86. Not knowing if they are truly over certainly played on my mind for a long time and as Mr Darcy attempted probably always will.
In response to: Re: Partners who chose to stay for the long haul
Sasha_86Contributor
It certainly is draining I am thankful that I have a good support system at work as I head back tomorrow!
It is also good to feel understood and a little less alone @Former-Member @Shaz51 @Determined thank you all for hearing me
In response to: Re: Partners who chose to stay for the long haul
Unknown userMember
@Lisek when will GP be back from leave?
@Shaz51 how are things with you?
@Lost1 are you a knitter?
@Sasha_86 hope things ok going back to work
@Determined have you any rides planned?
@Former-Member hope things not too overwhelming for you.
@Tiggeroo hope things have steadied with bipolar bear, have been a bit worried the dreaded D word may have crept in.
@Faith-and-Hope will be thinking of you and hope you can get a good routine going in relation to uni + family
@PeppiPatty hope you and Mr G ok.
@Carlachris has the heat been a bit much for you.
@Raine how are things with you?
In response to: Re: Partners who chose to stay for the long haul
LisekContributor
Hi Darcy and all dear carers. How are you?
We managed to get a referal to a psychiatrist from a different but very good gp and my Mr will go for a visit in March. I'm happy this little step was made but I worry it will be another hit and miss. What if they don't see through his though mask if "i'm ok i guess...I get by" and send him home with yet another "I am here for you if you need professional help". I really worry about that. Mr will be away for 2 weeks again due to work and I worry the black dog will chase him again. I think I will go to a psychologist myself to look for some help.
I wanted to go to the first appointment with my Mr but he now doesn't want me to. It's ok but I worry he will not convey the bigger picture. It's not a though year or two... He has been depressed his whole life but lately...I guess as we age things mean less and less to him, more things seem like lost forever and unreachable, gone like youth. So there is less to keep him going, there is always that drag of looking back and seeing "all the things I never had, all the things I never did". How to compete with that.
In response to: Re: Partners who chose to stay for the long haul
DeterminedSenior Contributor
Next ride sometime next week all to plan @Former-Member.
In response to: Re: Partners who chose to stay for the long haul
Sasha_86Contributor
Work was a welcome distraction despite the worry however all in all the day was good hopefully making tomorrow a little easier 😁 how are things for you @Former-Member ?
In response to: Re: Partners who chose to stay for the long haul
Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor
Hi everybody .... 👋💕
Thanks so much for tagging me to this thread @Former-Member, and thanks for the well-wishes. Much appreciated.
Travel tips .... let me see ....
I make every outfit I take work three ways - Casual, Semi-formal, and Formal ..... or three different versions of Casual, or Semi-formal, if that is what I need, by changing shoes, jacket, and accessories.
https://ladylighttravel.com/2012/05/13/how-to-plan-a-travel-capsule-wardrobe-for-vacation/
Hope this is not overwhelming. If it is, just pick the simple mix and match version and copy it with pieces from your existing wardrobe in whatever colour choice aligns with your taste.
Earphones .... listen to music on your phone when there are unexpected enforced waits ....better than twiddling your thumbs and focussing on a countdown on your watch.
Check in or set out early - contingency time is gold, and can be used for a coffee stop if it’s not needed otherwise.
Hope some of this is helpful .....
Undiagnosed eating disordered hubby here, with major control issues and mood / personality swings ..... adult kids affected with anxiety, depression, ocd-type responses. Staying and endeavouring to hold it all together appears to be our best option.
Help us push aside the stigma and discrimination surrounding complex mental health and change the way people talk about, and care for, mental illness.
SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.
SANE values diversity. We are committed to providing a safe, culturally appropriate, and inclusive service for all people, regardless of their ethnicity, faith, disability, sexuality, or gender identity.
Help us push aside the stigma and discrimination surrounding complex mental health and change the way people talk about, and care for, mental illness.
SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.
SANE values diversity. We are committed to providing a safe, culturally appropriate, and inclusive service for all people, regardless of their ethnicity, faith, disability, sexuality, or gender identity.
You’ll soon be able to use one secure login to access all SANE services.
For added security, members are now required to log in with their email address and password - member names are no longer supported for logging in.
If you had a Forums account before 19 May 2026 and haven’t set up your new login yet, you'll be prompted to set up your new secure login when you sign-in.
Fields marked * are required
