New to bipolar

Hi @Former-Member. Thank you kindly for your post.

I definitely agree... different things work for different people. We are each on an individual journey through life. How we walk, where we go, even the shoes we wear, differ..

Hi Everyone,

you have no idea how much better I feel to know I'm not alone and there are people out there, who can relate to being bipolar.

@Kurra, thanks for reminding me that Bipolar is just a word. I think over the next few weeks I will have to read this post again and again to remind me that it is ok.

@Kurraand @MoonGal, I will start tracking my mood and external factors. How do you track yours? Do you use a template or write diary entries? How do you know what to track? I appreciate your input on the meds. I just picked up a bag of meds from the pharmacy and it does look daunting. I was never hospitalised and I think I had a pretty successful life before depression struck, so I wish I could just go back to the highs - although I must admit, I always had lows, I crashed after high episodes, but I thought that was just because I overdid things.

Thanks @BeeGee. I am scared of the impact of the meds on me. But to be honest I have not been myself for a long time, I would love to get out of this depression. I guess the biggest adjustment will be my goal setting? If I don't have my energy then I have to change my life and adjust my expectations?

@Silenus Acceptance. Accepting myself with bipolar and not fighting the illness. What am I resisting? What is so bad about having a label that will make it easier for people to be able to treat me. Yes, there is stigma and I wonder if I have to fight my own stigma first. About 2 years ago I was diagnosed with a physical disability. One that I was born with. It impacts my daily life only mildly, regular treatments and pain medication when required. I keep telling myself, it cannot be so bad, I've lived like that all my life. I would not say I have accepted it - I guess I will have to do some work on this. How can you learn to accept your own limitations and imperfections?

I love your statement "We are not mentally ill. We are merely on the edge of the human experience."

Big hugs to all!

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@Flower wrote:

...How can you learn to accept your own limitations and imperfections?

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That's a really excellent question. When you figure out the answer, would you be kind enough to let me know?!

Hi @Former-Member and @BeeGee,

Flower you asked how you can learn to accept your own limitations and imperfections.

I found the answer in a prayer - Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.

There are some things I can never change. I can beat my head against a brick wall trying but they're not going to change. Like things that have happened in the past. I can't rewrite history.

There are some things I can change straight away although I may need to put in the hard yards. There are other things I can or may be able to change, but not right now. So I need to have patience until I find the right way in the right moment.

The hardest part though is finding the wisdom to know the difference. Sometimes banging my head against that brick wall is what I need to attain the wisdom I need.

This has worked incredibly well for me. It takes time. It means tearing everything apart and slowly working out how to put it back in working order. I've had lengthy arguments with myself but I have also found acceptance. It's allowed me to build a good life, to like myself just as I am. It might not be the life I dreamed of having but I have learnt to be glad for what I have and what my future can be.

I hear you. Sometimes I look at the hard road I've set myself and wonder why, when I have no confidence that I will feel any different when I get to the end of it. Some days I think I keep going out of sheer habit more than anything else - because if I didn't I'd be totally lost. In a funny way going through the motions has become the "normal" of life; I forget that it was ever any other way. In this headspace I rely on my cognition to drive my life in some direction to avoid grinding to a complete halt. I don't know if a psychiatrist would necessarily consider this to be an ideal coping mechanism, but at least it keeps me going until I find a better way.

If it's any consolation, with bipolar you will eventually swing out of the low again and remember what it's like to feel "normal" again, inbetween lows and elevations. Maybe at those times it would be good to write down your thoughts, feelings, hopes, dreams and goals to feed yourself with in the down times and ground yourself in the manic ones... even if you aren't feeling those things then, you can at least remember that you previously did, and have faith that you will again.