The lies, secrets and cheating from my bpd partner are destroying me.

Can anyone relate or offer advice?

Ive just discovered sexy photos and messages between my partner and another woman and am totally shattered. Until recently he has always been very affectionate and I felt completely loved by him. I confronted him with this information whilst he was in a psych ward and he apologised for the photos but denied having slept with her, despite his message to his friend saying he has been seeing her. The following day after this discussion I did not visit him in the hospital as I was totally distraught and the following day he text me to say he was going to leave our home and relationship. Totally beside myself I lashed back at him, only pushing him further away. He was released from hospital after 2.5 weeks and has been unbearable in the week following..I tried to discuss this with him again but now realise it’s a trigger and he completely shuts down, gets angry and says he is going to leave which leaves me unable to express my pain and discuss how we can move forward. He is addicted to his phone and is on it constantly which send craziness through my mind as I wonder who he is talking to and in what context. He has many female friends that he shares secrets with and talks to them about his horrific childhood and no longer shares with me which is so hurtful and impacting my self esteem..this is exactly what he did when we first got together and I feel he is doing this again as he is preparing for our breakup..

Has anyone been in a similar situation?

How can I talk to him about this without him threatening him to leave?

How can I make him feel safe to tell me the truth..is this even possible?

In addition to all this, I’ve been dealing with my sister who has psychosis, and only a few months ago we were trying to get pregnant..everything has spiralled so fast and I feel like I am going to implode..

totally broken.