Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

47,612Members
1,358,869Posts
1,400,000Visitors

feeling lonely

kmlaCasual Contributor30 Dec 2018, 12:56 am AEDT

feeling lonely

I am 17 years junior to my partner who has chronic illness related to diabetes. We have been together 10 years and were friends for 10 years prior to that. He had a stroke 3 years ago and has been pretty unwell since...he has lost hearing in one ear completely; has severe tinitus; has glaucoma and is losing his vision; phyiscally he is struggling in lots of ways and I am worried about a range of other health issues too numerous to list.

He is/was a small business owner...except that I have assumed responsibility of the business. He went bankrupt last year. The business now does not make much money but I do not want to take away my partner's dignity. He loves his business...I do too. It's just financially tough.

I also have a full time job working in the diability sector and do a lot of travel for work. I worry about my partner when I travel but I love my job and being away is sometimes a huge relief.

I don't know whether it's a blessing or a curse that we didn't have kids. I wanted to have them a few years ago; at the same time that he had the stroke. Now I think it's probably too late and I couldn't have them now anyway. We have two dogs and my partner struggles to care for them when I am travelling.

My partner is due for two surgeries in the next month. I don't know whether to be optimistic or not. I struggle with feeling like it is all hopeless and in some ways I would prefer it to be all over quickly. I do not want him to be sick and miserable. I also do not want this to go on for years and years without a forseeable end. But I feel horrible for wanting it to be over. Mostly I just feel lonely and sad. Sometimes angry.

14 replies

11 - 14 of 14

1 2

In response to: feeling lonely

kmlaCasual Contributor31 Dec 2018, 10:40 am AEDT

Re: feeling lonely

so nice to know that people understand. It must be so tough to be unwell yourself and also to be caring for loved ones. Thanks for taking the time to post xx

In response to: Re: feeling lonely

Unknown userMember31 Dec 2018, 11:24 am AEDT

Re: feeling lonely

@kmla

There is a lot of help available - knowing where to access it the key.

Carers Australia have free counseling. They may be able to help you in relation to accessing supports as they look after all carers (not just those caring for loved ones with MI).

http://www.carersaustralia.com.au

The Carer Gateway website might be very helpful for you too.

https://www.carergateway.gov.au

You can get a mental health plan through your GP which will enable you to access 10 medicare rebateable psychology sessions. There are a lot of psychologists who bulk bill with the health care plan, helpful if finances are tight (which is the norm for most of us. I think their are chronic illness plans allow access to occupational therapy and the like, your GP will be able to help on that front.

Additional targeted support and/or information may be available through Diabetes Australia, Brain Foundation and Stroke Foundation. An example is this group:

https://synapse.org.au/information-services/impact-of-brain-injury-on-families-carers.aspx

Depending on where you live, services like this are available too.

http://monashhealth.org/services/services-a-e/acquired-brain-injury-carer-support-packages/

In response to: Re: feeling lonely

Unknown userMember31 Dec 2018, 1:25 pm AEDT

Re: feeling lonely

Hi dear @kmla, really glad to see you get back to everyone here. As you get to know your way around a little better, you will learn some of the tricks of the trade here on the forum. For example, if you are responding to someones post you can type in the @ symbol. A list of people who posted to this thread will pop up and you can select that person you are directing your reply to. These things you will pick up as you go. Meanwhile you're doing fine in responding as you have to everyone.

I was about to tell you about the GP mental health care plan which gives you up to 10 medicare subsidised sessions with a psychologist or other therapist. But then I noticed that our lovely and very knowledgeable and helpful @Former-Member has already mentioned that along with a number of other links for you to check out. When you have a spare moment that is. I dont think you'd get too many of those! I really do hope you can start accessing some of the supports that are available to you though, because you really are facing an uphill battle with all that you have on your plate.

My husband has a friend who has diabetes and he is having many of the typical problems such as eye issues, circulation problems, etc. It really is a soul destroying and incidious disease. I hope the upcoming operations prove successful and that it enables your husband to get back to some form of exercise which will be of huge benefit to him.

I'm happy to chat any time you need an ear.

Sherry

In response to: feeling lonely

Unknown userMember21 Jan 2019, 1:29 pm AEDT

Re: feeling lonely

How are you going @kmla?

11 - 14 of 14

1 2